HERE WE ARE AGAIN!

It must be faced,the past few days have been some of my worst for a long time,it is as my Doctor explained recently,I am almost beyond the point where pain can be controlled by medication.

I have been aware for some time that surgery is necessary but with Pa so unwell it has been impossible,now with the prospect of all his operations being carried out within the next six months I can at last begin to consider my own needs.

In the mean time I must choose between extreme pain and discomfort as opposed to being made ga-ga by massive doses of codeine, and anti spasmodic drugs which leave me feeling like a puppet with it's strings cut! At the moment the later condition holds sway,last night I slept for the first time in several weeks and awoke almost pain free. I cannot express the joy caused by this event, I made pancakes for breakfast,and although the pain returns when the drugs begin to wear off the sheer blessed relief of a few comfortable hours is wonderful.

Sadly my poor son is still very much under the weather and I am becoming quite concerned. He is still in the grip of the collywobbles and dose not seem able to keep food down,last night was ghastly for him. He tells his friends he is OK and like many a stubborn man refuses to consult a medic, I would put my foot down firmly if it did not hurt to do so!

Now that the weather has turned chilly the cats have resorted to sitting on the radiators and I to the use of a hot water bottle and an extra fleece blanket from which I derive much comfort.

On a brief trip out for a little fresh air the chill in the wind was bitter and the cold last night has brought down almost all the remaining leaves from the limes in the lane and they look like ladies who have just stepped out of their skirts.

Pa is behaving like a trooper just now and is busy tidying his room which O appreciate more than I can say for I am not well enough to do the job myself yet until it has been reorganised we cannot put up the Christmas tree. Another task which will have to wait a while yet.

We are rapidly approaching the date set for Pa's surgery and this has rather eclipses all other matters,including Christmas I fear, speaking for myself,all I want is the whole thing over and Pa back safe at home.