There are those who own
skate boards,something I have always wanted to do,but since I damaged
my knee back in the sixties I decided to take up a more sedate
sport...scrambling motor bikes!
Then there are the
surfers,lucky people who sport like dolphins among the waves. For me
this was not a practical hobby as my home in the Midlands was about a
far from the sea as it is possible to get in this country.
In my twilight years, I
find myself becoming more and more whimsical,eccentric as my friends
so charmingly put it, today I spent almost three hours with the only
board I have ever owned....alas...it was the ironing board.
I began to iron just as
“Star Trek,The Wrath Of Khan” began this afternoon and finished
the wretched task as the credits rolled at the end. Admiral Kirk
waxing philosophical about his vanishing youth caused a spasm of
annoyance and I found myself remarking to the television screen that
at least he had spent his youth blazing around the galaxy,without an
ironing board in sight!!!!
It is not normally in
my nature to repine about my advancing years,in fact as a rule I am
quite comfortable in my present skin. Ironing brings out the worst in
me...a lot of ironing tips me over the edge of reason. I
snarl,hiss,swear like a trooper and....talk to the television. Sad
is,n,t it?
Some time ago I found
myself addressing a few choice remarks to the then Prime Minister
Tony Blair,(Lord how I detest the man).I had been ironing for hours
on a hot day and it was at this delicate moment that he began to
pontificate about women equality. Now I have to tell you that I am by
no means a supporter of Women’s Lib, I am convinced that far from
giving women freedom it actually works them to death. The modern
woman does not have everything,the truth of the matter is that she
runs the home,she holds down a job, she cares for the
children-elderly relations-husband with man flue.....and above all
the does the bloody ironing! She does not have it all.....she does it
all!
In the whole of my life
I have only met two men who could iron without decimating the
families wardrobes,both had been in the army,and here it comes,
neither had ironed so much as an handkerchief since returning to
civilian life.
What then ,do we learn
from this? Well firstly ,of course we learn that I am going off my
rocker!
What we should realise
is that women are their own worst enemy , when women insisted on
equality in the work place(which incidentally they still do not have)
they should also have insisted on equality in the home; I mean , who
did they imagine would be doing the chores while they swanned around the boardroom in their business suits .
And what about the
women who work in factories,or other low paid unfulfilling
employment,what do they get out of their forty hour week?
Most women work because
they must,they work to pay the bills their husbands wages will not
meet. They are not free! They are not free to stay at home to care
for their families,they have not the luxury of choice. Neither are
they independent since all of their earnings go towards the family
budget.
Women have opened
themselves up to this exploitation and its time it stopped.
Back to Mr Blair,who of
course heard not a word of my ironing board speech, unfortunately for
me however my voice had carried far enough through an open window to
be heard by a couple of callers who had, instead of knocking at the
door amused themselves by listening to my ravings. Imagine my
embarrassment? All the fault of the ironing.
Now that’s of my
chest I think I shall take a shower,I've earned it.
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