WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

I have as you know been rather fragile of late and have been finding it difficult to keep to my usual pursuits, in order to give me a break from the endless cooking and washing up my son.(bless him) decided that tonight he would cook dinner.....and thereby hangs a tail.....!

The story really began yesterday when I passed the shopping list to my son( we order most of our shopping on line from one supermarket of another). He decided that tonight’s dinner would be scampi and chips with peas,lemon sauce and home made bread,it sounded lovely.

Now while even I ,the champion of freshly prepared food occasionally purchase ready to cook scampi it is useful when one is in a hurry and tastes perfectly acceptable if not served too often.

My son (bless him) ordered what can only be described as breaded extrusions of god knows what coated very thinly in breadcrumbs,he congratulated himself (bless him) on getting a bargain!

Why he chose to do this knowing my views on anything containing chopped shaped or reformed slurry held together with stabilisers we may never know. He swears that he was in ignorance as to the nature of his,bargain..my God I do hope that is true!

At the appointed time he went to the kitchen to prepare our repast and I joined him to set the table,it was at this point that I noticed the atrocity about to be visited upon us...I could scarce believe my eyes. I was mortified that such a thing should have disgraced my freezer even for a few hours,it was a nasty situation.

My son ( bless him) was inclined to the view that we had eaten them before and assured us that all would be well,the smell of damp dog emanating from the oven as they cooked did nothing to whet our appetites. All too soon the meal was served ans I approached the table with no pleasure whatever and poor old Pa announced that as he was not hungry it would not matter that there were so few pieces of “Scampi”.

Actually that was the only saving grace the stuff had,having opened two bags my son (bless him) uncovered about 30 pieces each one the size of a small shottie or marble depending upon what part of the country you are from.

I broke open on of these nasty little horrors and revealed a small square,grey in colour and so unappetising in its appearance that no one managed to eat any and we feasted on chips,peas ans bread and butter, most unsatisfactory.

Of course I blamed myself for not having cooked tonight but my son (bless him_) would have none of it. He insisted on treating us all to a Chinese takeaway ( good fellow) and we are now awaiting the arrival of these welcome reinforcements.

Pa is downstairs lighting incense to eradicate the awful fishy smell which is lingering about the kitchen. How could anything containing so little fish smell do fishy, even the cat was not convinced, and stalked of in a huff when offered some, I wonder if she will ever forgive me?