LAZY AVIE

Still in a strange mood this morning was unable to settle to any constructive employment,the reason for this was two fold. To begin with I was in a good deal of pain and secondly unsettled as I was I lacked the will to push myself enough to get things done.

This lack of purpose cause me to feel even more peculiar and finally I decided to take the buggy and just go..somewhere.......anywhere.......anywhere but here! Just for once I wanted to be,somewhere else,I cannot even put in to words how I felt,for me to be lost for words is,many would say,a rare occurrence.

Even my trundling was aimless and I ended up on the tow path of The Grand Union Canal watching the boats slowly slipping in and out of the shadows as they went on their way. Then it dawned on me what my problem was,I also realised that I had come to exactly the wrong place to recover myself. You see,the boats were going somewhere, people in their cars were going somewhere and living as I do under the Heathrow flight path I watched hourly thousands of people...all going somewhere,

I am very well aware that this feeling is not only illogical it is extremely ungrateful,after all I have so much to be thankful for. I have A lovely home,beautiful gardens,a wonderful family and for once everything is going well,and I am enjoying it all but oh my,sometimes the longing to be on the downs, walking by the sea sitting in a forest far from the city overwhelms me and my self control crumbles to dust.

Eventually the feeling will pass,it always does,it's just that for me staying in one place is against my nature,I am a gypsy in my heart and life without a far horizon chokes the life out of me.

The fact that I am writing in this way sh0ws how out of sorts must be,I know how lucky I am and I am thankful,today,for some reason I feel as if I were a prisoner. In a way I suppose I am.

I feel exactly like Ratty from “The Wind in the Willows”in the chapter “Wayfarers All”. Oh well,Ratty got over it,ands so,I suppose shall I.