It was a sad little party that assembled in the garden this morning for the funereal of our dear little Charlie Bird. Pa and I and my son, even Twiggy the cat showed up to watch the proceedings.
We buried him beneath the birdbath and with him his favourite set of chimes which we rang one last time before laying them in the earth. There were tears of course, even the cat was miserable and sat on the garden path staring at the grave for a long time.
We all felt a little better once the bird cage was taken out of the house and put beside the garden gate. Several times during the course of the afternoon I observed Twiggy sitting on the gate looking sadly into the cage, it was heartbreaking.
The house has been very quiet, non of us could face putting on the radio and without Charlie,s cheerful whistling the house felt as sad as we did. And one by one we drifted out into the garden,
it seemed less empty somehow.
Of course all the usual Monday chores still had to be done ,I often think that it is such humdrum routine that saves us from despair at such times as this.
When my Father died some twenty eight years ago, my Mother and Brothers wept non stop for days. I went on to automatic pilot arraigning the death certificate, and the funereal, sorting our Mums finances and dealing with insurance companies solicitors and banks. As long as I was busy I was fine but each night when I had finished for the day I would cry for hours. My mother had not seen me cry and on the third day she expressed the opinion that I was a hard case with not much feeling. It was useless to tell her how many tears I had shed each night and even more useless to ask her who would have made all the funereal arrangements if I had given way to wild shows of grief as she and my brothers had done. To say that I was hurt was an understatement but I understood and did not blame her. I had been a real Daddies girl, I miss him still.
The business of the day was accomplished, the loaves were baked, the soup made, even a little gardening in the afternoon, for which I felt all the better.
Tonight my son returns to work and tomorrow begins again the merry round of hospital and doctors appointment which punctuate our lives these days. Yet there is something to be said for knowing where you are going to be and what you will be doing, it is a comfort just now.
I have no doubt that soon it will become annoying again but that is for another time, today it will do as it is.
The last couple of nights have been cold here and I have been glad to snuggle down under my patchwork quilt and fur rug, which incidentally the cat believes to be hers. During the days however we have opened all the widows wide to air the whole house . The sky is cloudy now so perhaps tonight will not be quite so cold, I hope so as I have planted out some Sweet Williams today and a sharp frost will do them no good at all.
If the weather is fine I hope to spend more time in the garden tomorrow while Pa is at the hospital as I have no baking to do, no housework and thank the Gods no ironing, now that is a plus.
Today I watched the robins flying in and out of the garden taking mostly suet crumbs, this means that their young have hatched and soon the parent birds will bring them to the bird table to feed. This is the second year that our robin has raised his young in our garden, I knew him when he was young and spotty you know!
A cup of coffee has just arrived, delivered by the coffee fairy, I think that I shall drink it in the bath!I am very tired this evening ans shall be glad to relax and rest now that the days work is done.
Tomorrow will be better, each day brings new beginnings and a promise of warmth and sunshine, life will not let us be sad for too long and that is the wonder and the joy of life and thank heaven for it.
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