HAPPY NEW YEARS

A Happy New Year one and all
With flashes , bangs and rockets.
Lets dance and sing and have a ball
While the government picks our pockets.

Lets all forget the gloom and doom
Though constantly reminded,
By our political new broom
We must all by them be guided.

These are the new wise men we're told
They understand our trouble,
All the glistered was not gold
So now we're paying double.

I hope they don;t think that we're fooled.
By rhetoric and bluster,
It seems a shame with forces pooled,
They're the best that we can muster.

Old Ollie Cromwell had a go
At taxing fun and pleasure
He did not last that long at all.
And was hated for good measure,

Let everybody now unite
Man woman child and Gran
And strike a blow for fair play
And the good of the common man.


Let us be heard throughout the world
As with one voice we speak
An bring the New Year in this time
With a bang,Not a bloody squeak!

And with that bit of doggerel I leave you to your celebrations and wish to the whole world good fortune, love ,peace ,happiness ,and enough to eat in the New Year.

THE COOKIE MOUNTAIN

I got busy this morning and made the bread as soon as I got up,I needed to make two baguettes and three large bloomers today as we were completely out of bread.
Pa and I had a breakfast of poached eggs on the last four slices of toasting bread left in the crock, I blame the large jar of dripping for the mysterious disappearance of two loaves since yesterday,it is very tempting.
Pa wanted to go in to the village and as he seemed quite bright I thought the fresh air would be good for him, he does not go out much in the bad weather. While he was gone I baked a huge batch of cookies, I used up lots of the lovely things in the store cupboard left over from the Christmas baking and invented a new cookie, I call them Ramshaw rocks. They are named after a fabulous place in the Staffordshire moorlands close to my home .If you watched the Colin Firth version of “Pride and Prejudice you will have seen a part of them. Elizabeth Bennett stands on the top of one of the peaks looking out towards Hollinsclough, the road through which is also used in the same episode.
I must be the only women in the whole world who did not go dippy over Colin Firth, I just could not see it somehow.
Back to the cookies, I made a large amount of mixture and by the time I had finished the kitchen table was full, since I am expecting visitors this is no bad thing.
Poor old puss is most seriously displeased with the weather just now, she hates the drizzle and only goes outside for practical reasons, after which she bangs on the kitchen window or rattles the door to be let back in. This morning she did the fastest ever wee in one of my flower pots, note to me, do not use the potted thyme for a few days!
Dinner tonight was pasta cheese with ham for my son and a cauliflower cheese for Pa and I, we have an abundance of Stilton at the moment having been given lots at Christmas.
My son has New Years Eve off work this year, not that it will be much use to him as he has to work on New Years Day. Most people have New Years Day off but this does not apply to my sons place of work, it seems odd but ours not to reason why, ours but to take what ever bull..... gets thrown at us and smile as if we like it. I must say he does not seem to mind, I think he has and all night game planned.

For myself I have always disliked the New Years Eve knees up. It seems odd to celebrate having survived another year, and of course there is next year to worry about. Hogmanay in Scotland is a real celebration, in this country it is just and excuse to get plastered, well who needs an excuse to do that!
Pay no attention to me I just think the whole thing is humbug, I can not help it.
At least we shall see the New Year in together and observe all the customary superstitious practices , the its off to bed for me , I shall watch a DVD, I cannot stand another of Jules Holland's dreadful epics.........HUMBUG.

A GHOSTLY TALE

Late this afternoon, having spent the day among pots, pans and laundry I went out on the buggy for a breath of fresh air before the preparation of dinner. The evening gloom was gathering as I left and I switched on the lights to be sure and be seen by other traffic.
I took a circular route which would bring me back through the unlit lane. My son had been obliged, due to the vagaries of the public transport system to used the same route this morning before light. He has not done this for years and had forgotten just how dark it is, especially when there is a thick fog.
As I returned home by this route the mist was low on the ground but was only about four feet hight, this effect is caused in some measure by our closeness to the river and has the odd effect of allowing you to see clearly in to the distance yet be unable to see your own feet.

I was reminded of an evening about twelve years ago, and evening of low hanging mist and drizzle, the day I saw the ghost.
I was out with my darling West Highland terrier, now sadly no longer with us on the last of her trice daily walks, that is to say I walked while she ran around in circles occasionally doing the doggy equivalent of hand brake turns and making friends with other dogs and chasing squirrels, for which she harboured a great dislike. I had been joined on the occasion by a friend who was walking her Cairn terrier, a brown version of my little white lady. We had not seen each other for some time and chatted away while the dogs ran madly about. In the distance I could just make out an odd figure dressed from head to toe in black advancing towards us on the grass. The dogs ran towards us whining and afraid and as I looked at the figure again I noticed that it was actually not walking on the ground at all, it was in fact hovering just above the line of mist, at this time about a foot off the level of the turf. I turned to point this odd appearance out to my friend , she had gone, I tuned around in time to see her running at top speed towards her car and with her not only her own dog but my craven little madam!

I turned again to look at the figure half expecting it to be gone , no it was still there and still advancing towards me, by this time it was close enough to make out the nature of its garments-almost certainly it wore a habit such a a monk or priest would wear, strangely I never considered the possibility of its being a nun in spite of the fact the the site was occupied by a convent until old Henry 111V evicted the nuns and gave the convent to an old crony for services rendered.
I wondered what would happen when it reach me but I was never to find out as within just fifteen feet or so from where I was standing it seemed to be absorbed by the surrounding mist which by this time had increased in both hight and depth.

I decided I should retrieve my dog and as I approached her car my friend wound down the window, she was white to the lips and positively shaking, I did not need to ask her if she had seen anything odd. She kept babbling about the figure in black , she was so upset that I was afraid she would be unable to drive , I need not have worried, she could not get out of the place fast enough. I never met her in that location again.
Of course I told the boys all about it and speculated a good deal as to who it might have been, I can say with honesty that I was not frightened by what I saw, the figure gave off and overwhelming aura of sadness and I felt that keenly.

After a little research we discovered that a priest , confessor to the nuns at the convent was burned at the stake for similar reasons to those that caused Thomas Moore and Bishop Fisher to go to there deaths. I am convinced that what I saw was the ghost of one Richard Reynolds, a benign and very learned man by all accounts and not the sort to do harm.

For several years I looked in vain to see the ghost again, going out in the evening and at the same time of year. I saw nothing until one evening while walking in the lane with my son, we had been talking and he went suddenly quiet, as I turned to ask what was wrong I saw what he had already seen, floating just above the mist and vanishing in the same way as before. My son was delighted to have seen my ghost and I too was glad, I should have liked to try talking to him but he seems to be lost in his solitary melancholy.
I have not seem him since, not this evening when the strange rising mist filled the lane and the droplets of drizzle seemed to hang in the air. Perhaps he has gone to where ever spirits call home but somehow I fell that to him this is his home, and he continues to protect people in the darkness, and scare the britches of a few people too.

GREY AND GRIM

I just realised what a good name today's title would make for a comedy double act, I can see it now,one tall and lugubrious and the other small and nondescript, but highly comical, well they could not be any worse than Ant and Dec!
I was of course referring to the weather, I am sure it did not really get light today at all. My budgie hates grey days and now that they are not playing Christmas carols on the radio so often he has become quite miserable. I believe I may have mentioned the fact that he is very musical, he has in fact played with some of the great orchestras of the world , on the radio of course, and accompanied such famous singers as Placido Domingo and Lucciano Pavarotti, not to mention Wayland Jennings and Willie Nelson! You should hear him go when we play the 1812 Overture........wild.
I cheered him up with a chunk of Chopin and some Vaughan Williams and now all is well.

My son arrived outrageously early this morning which makes a pleasant change so we had coffee together before I packed him off to bed and began the process of waking Pa, of which by now you will have heard quite enough! While he collected himself I made three wholemeal loaves as the bread crock was empty, a sorry state of affairs indeed as I rather fancied toast for breakfast. In the end I found a couple of nice crusty ends of loaves and toasted them, very nice to, Pa had cereal.

Having discovered that we were in need of a few odds and ends I trundled off to the supermarket and I must say that the number of people intent upon hurling themselves under the wheels of my chariot was well above the usual average. Amazingly I collected what we needed and returned home without accident, a miracle under the circumstances I am sure.

I am still feeling a little under the weather but thankfully better than yesterday so I celebrated by doing the ironing, please note the irony …..ha ha!
The boys had requested a hearty winter vegetable soup for dinner so I made a cauldron full, using up such delicacies as left over Brussels sprouts which my son would not normally touch with a ten foot pole, sneaky wouldn't you say, heaven help me if he ever finds out

We did not get the promised snow last night, just some drizzle, it looks as if the Eastern Seaboard of America got it all. I have a friend who moved to New York about three months ago, 35th Street I think, I wonder what he thinks of all this, actually he is originally from Newzealand so as you can see he gets around.
Merry hell I just noticed the time, I still have a few chores to do before I can sit down and watch a film with a clear conscience , and I need to bags my place in the queue for the bath so off I jolly well go. Night night, sleep tight and I hope the fleas don't bite1

THE WEEK BEGINS

For some reason I was very tired all day today which was odd as I slept quite well last night, better than I have for ages. I got up late as I did not want to disturb my son who has to work tonight, and I had intended to keep today as quite and calm as possible.
I had the kitchen to myself and took advantage of the fact by making two large trays of shortbread as the biscuit tins are empty, and soon the kitchen smelled wonderful.
Pa surfaced as the trays went into the oven and my son arrived in the kitchen as they were taken out to cool. I was, by now, feeling very odd indeed, dizzy, weak and extremely tired, I was almost overwhelmed by the feeling of exhaustion, not the best start to a working day. I made a quick breakfast of poached eggs on toast and after clearing the dishes away I am afraid to say that I was obliged to go back to bed,leaving Pa to feed the birds

I cuddled down in my soft fur rug and promptly fell asleep for two hours, I was awakened by the cat who assured me in urgent tones that she had not yet been fed. On investigating her claims I discovered them to be correct and provided remedy for her distress with a sachet of her favourite cat food to which I added some snippets of cold turkey,

I realised by this time that today was a right off so with a good grace I prepared the meat sauce for tonight,s lasagne and set the milk to infuse with garlic, bay and peppercorns, and made a pot of fresh French coffee which we all enjoyed.

Normally I dislike days when I do nothing constructive but today I made exception, I really had no choice, actually in some ways I rather enjoyed doing nothing for a change, however the prospect of having to do double duty tomorrow rather took the guilt of the gingerbread. The weather forecast for tomorrow suggests more snow, I do hope so, perhaps not so much as the people on the North East coast of America are getting though as my son will be travelling .

I expect everything will be back to normal tomorrow, at least I hope so as I must bake bread in the morning and I observe that the lid will not fit on the laundry basket, a fact which I have been ignoring for several days,I expect their will soon be a chorus of enquires after the whereabouts of shirts, socks and other items of apparel.
Considering how much time I have spent lying about today I shall be very glad to got back to bed, I am still feeling woozy!
Hand now aving bored you to tears I shall stop writing until I am my usual merry self , good night all.

ALL IS CALM AND BRIGHT

There is a peaceful calm about boxing day which I have always loved, I have heard others say that Boxing day is always an anti climax , but I do not agree. All the frantic preparations are over at last, the feverish anticipation has dissipated and a cheerful calm settles over the house.
It is a lovely lazy day, a day to enjoy the free time with no huge dinner to cook, no excited children dragging everyone out if bed at the crack of dawn, I love it.
We had a long lie in this morning and then a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs with sausages , bacon rashers and hot buttered toast, washed down with a large pot of strong tea.. I n the afternoon there are always games to play, sometimes board games and sometimes cards, a few drinks and of course lots of chocolates.

The evening meal is cold meats and cheeses again, no cooking, hoorah! The Christmas cake takes pride of place on the table and we pull yet more crackers, is it my imagination or do the jokes get worse every year?
The feeling of being on holiday is wonderful as is the cosy brightness of the candles and decorations.

I love my new camera and have spent some time snapping everything like a cut rate David Bailey, It does a lot of stuff I have not yet fathomed but the pictures are good I think.
Pa is very happy with his little lap top and my son is pleased with his giant fur throw
his bed now looks as if it belongs to a warrior chieftain!

Sadly our holiday ends tomorrow as my son returns to work , we console ourselves with the fact that in a weeks time he will have another seven days off so we shall have another Christmas, eating up the remaining chocolates , nuts and other goodies....I was given so many chocolates this year that it will take quite a while to eat them all. I am sure I shall have all the help I need to accomplish their demolition.

The lane is very quite today, only a few small children trying out new bicycles and scooters and a tiny girl proudly pushing her dolly along in its smart new pram.
The birds in our garden have been busy all day at the feeders and wonder of wonders , this morning a beautiful Mistle Thrush appeared on the wall, attracted by the raisins no doubt. It has been a long time since our garden was graced by one of these ,now sadly rare birds, and we feel honoured to play host and to provide its Christmas meals.

I have a date with my son to watch “Top Gear”tonight , we are both great fans of the show, it is one of the few programmes left that ignores political correctness, and non the worse for that
.
I am going now to have a nice hot bath and try out a new bottle of bubbles, if any one asks to come in to the bathroom while I wallow the answer will be, as Lance Corporal Jones would say, “In the infirmative!”

CHRISTMAS DAY

Merry Christmas every one, I hope you are having a lovely time, well stuffed with turkey, goose of whatever your chosen dinner was
For me this has been a fine Christmas full of happiness and even a few surprises. It began at about eight this morning, I had sneaked the toaster upstairs last night ans a small electric kettle so while my son made coffee I prepared two slices of toast each. We watched a DVD of Wind in the Willows
a favourite with us since my son was small and often watched in the morning.
Our secret picnic allowed Pa to have a lie in without causing my son and I had kept one of my sons gifts upstairs and I to be famished. He collects Russian space badges and as he had no means to display then I purchased two beautiful display cases so that he can hang them in his room The badges are enamelled and look very fine in their new home, we had fun hanging them up. Amidst all the careful preparations last night I neglected to provide us with a hammer. After a good deal of giggling and much ado we hammered the pins in to the wall with my wooden hair brush, an experience from which it is unlikely to recover.

We woke Pa with a cup of tea and I made fresh bread for the day while Pa got dressed and pulled himself together. The the parcel opening began. The camera given to me by my son is just wonderful, it has 4x optical zoom and loads of other things I have yet to fathom, I am more pleased than I can say to be the owner of such a fine piece of equipment. Pa loves his computer, and spent most of the afternoon getting acquainted with it. My son was as usual over whelmed with shirts, t shirts and so forth, it is difficult to buy for him as he buys almost everything he wants, This year Pa and I tracked down an enormous black fur Mongolian rug, the sort of thing you would find hanging in a Yurt. He wrapped himself in it anjd looked even more like a Viking warrior that usual., I must say it looks smashing in his newly furbished room..

Among my presents was a bottle of Advocat from the boys next door, a complete surprise and I have no idea how they knew I liked the stuff as I never admit to drinking anything but beer , vodka and the occasional Gin. I was given a bottle of Je Reviens perfume , my favourite sort and some very naughty chocolates... three boxes, so there goes my diet for a few days.
We had a second breakfast of cheese oatcakes rather late and Later I exchanged greeting with our neighbour as we fed the birds.

The afternoon was a lazy grown up Christmas afternoon,with each of us gloating over our gifts, Oh I forgot to mention my fur rug, given me by Pa , a beautiful cream colour and so snuggly, of course the cat Twiggy appropriated it the moment I layed it on the bed, typical.
My son cooked our breakfast this morning and as our evening meal was of cold roast beef, cold turkey, cheeses and a large pork pie I had almost no cooking to do today, and it was a treat, I only occurs once a year but I love it. The cakes were a success and the chocolate log survived intact.......pheeeeeew!

I called my mother this morning, I wish with all my heart that she could be with us, we had a long chat, She had opened all her gifts, We always send a big box for her with a dozen or so gifts inside. The tradition began the Christmas after my father died, I knew how sad she would be so I arranged for the box of gifts to be delivered to her room by my brother on Christmas morning along with a cup of tea , we have been doing it ever since, almost thirty years.

When my son was small Christmas was hectic and the day began at about four in the morning, He was such a dear little boy, small, sweet but so very clever, he was reading Enid Blyton books by the time he was two ,so his gifts were not always toys. I loved the little boy with my whole heart, yet I love and admire the man he has become still more, I know how lucky we are to have such a son, and count my blessings often.

I have waffled on quite long enough, it has been an exciting and yet peaceful day, everything special and wonderful. I have made my Christmas wish, I can not tell you what it is but it is the same wish I make every year. The sky is clear tonight and full of stars, there will be a frost I am sure,Our tame fox has just been to collect his share of tonight,s dinner and out little cat is fast asleep, her tummy full of turkey. Boxing day is still to come, I do love Christmas.
Have a wonderful holiday, however you chose to spend it, and may all you Christmas wishes come true

CHRISTMAS EVE

THE OXEN
Christmas eve and twelve of the clock.
“Now they are all on their knees,”
An elder said as we sat in a flock
By the embers hearth side ease.

We pictured the meek mild creatures where
They dwelt in their strawy pen,
Nor did it occur to one of us there
To doubt they were kneeling then.

So fair a fancy few would weave
In these years! Yet I feel
If someone said on Christmas eve,
“Come see the oxen kneel

In the lonely barton by yonder comb
Our childhood used to know,”
I should go with him in the gloom,
Hoping it might be so.

Thomas Hardy.

I can think of nothing better than this verse to sum up what the magic of this season means to me.
It is a mixture of legends intertwined down many centuries, combining to make a bright happy time when anything is possible if you believe enough.
What ever faith we follow it is surely a time for us to feel the bond of humanity which links us all, in love and good fellowship.
This poem was read to me by my Grandfather ,who new all about magic ,when I was a tiny child, I believed it. Every year he gave up his cigarettes in September and saved the money in order to buy gifts for the tree of us children, I always made sure he had a small box of cigars on Christmas day.

Christmas for me was always magical, a mixture of the smell of wood fires burning brightly and the smell of evergreens. The excitement felt by every child at this time and the wonder of candle light and shadows. Mine was a country childhood, and my Christmases were country Christmases. Simple by modern standards but full of love and the sense of having my own place in things.
I loved my world of fields and trees, sheep and cattle, I was at one with the seasons of the year and embraced them with my whole heart

There were of course carol singers and parties for us children in the old farmhouses, several each year ,such excitement for us ,and to be at the centre of things on that special day was a great part of its charm.

When I grew up I took with me all the love and magic to my new home and when my son was born it was my turn to weave the Christmas spell for the dearest little boy that was ever born. I realised then that the pleasure of creating the perfect Christmas for a child is about so much more that the gifts under the tree.
It is a spell to be woven with skill and care, a time for stories intermingled with treats. And spending time with a child which is the greatest gift of all. Time to pass on the gift of knowing how to make the day as full of wonder as is possible, so that in future time the spell will be woven anew, and so on for all time.
May your waking on Christmas morning be happy, and may your memories of Christmases past be as bright as my own..

A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS

A CHOCOLATE LOG AND A FIT OF THE JIM-JAMS

The day dawned on the morning I dread, the day I have to make my sons chocolate log. I have been doing this for years and you would suppose that by now I would have become used to the occasion, not so!
The problem is that there are so many things that can go wrong with a this type of cake. The eggs and sugar need to be beaten over a bowl of hot water until thick and pale in colour. This can go horribly wrong and the resulting pan of sweet scrambled egg is too awful to contemplate.

Let us suppose that this phase has gone well. Next the sifted plain flour, sugar,cocoa powder, raising agent and a pinch of salt must be added very quickly indeed but without knocking all the hard won air out of the mix. Mess this up and the result is a bowl of chocolate flavoured wall paper paste.
Next the mixture must be transferred to a greased and lined ( with none stick paper that truly is non stick.....almost impossible to find), and put in to a hot oven for about seven minutes. This is a real menace as seven minutes may not be quite enough, result a squishy mess, alternatively six minutes may be too much, result a sheet of cardboard which will not roll. All one can do is to take a guess, today I removed my cake from the oven after six minutes, another thirty seconds would have been too much at the high temperature required to cook this cake.

Now the cake must be turned out in to a sheet of greased proof paper on which caster sugar has been sprinkled, I need not tell you of the pitfalls this procedure is fraught with.
If all goes well one must then make a cut one inch in from the short edge to within an inch of the other side, the only simple part of the whole blessed business, but then it must be rolled up in the greased proof paper and left to cool for a nail biting hour or so.
Now comes the part that is worse than all the rest, it must be unrolled again so that it can be spread with chocolate butter cream. During this process the fan-tods, the jim-jams and the screaming hebegeebees are quite a common occurrence. The cake can so easily crack and fall in to shame making pieces, I have seen, with some satisfaction I might add the great Gordon Ramsey( not a patch on Floyd), have to stick one together with cream.

Icing the cake with a degree of realism is a point of pride with me and at this point my four years of fine art training come in to play, this is the only enjoyable part of the whole processes. The Icing is added and made to look like bark, the hollows are painted with melted dark chocolate and then when dried and set carefully dust with icing sugar to show up the tree rings and the texture of the bark.
Some ancient bits of plastic holly and a Merry Christmas sign are applied,(every year I forget where I have put them and spend days searching the kitchen). My son is sentimentally attached to these as we have been using them since he was a baby. This year I added a rather dashing spray of cranberries, purchased to be used in the event of my being unable to locate the old decorations.

If all has gone well things can still go wrong. The cake is not to be eaten until Christmas Day and during this time someone can, and in the past has , knocked the cake off the shelf where is has been put for safe keeping. Drop a heavy object on the cake, or even sit down on the cake. If Bob Cratchetts Missus had her doubts about the quantity of flour in her Christmas pudding that is as nothing to the annual three day horror I go through every year. Once I had to make the thing three times....... dreadful.......I can not say more!

Dinner was a huge piece of brisket on the bone which took over six hours to cook and was as tender as butter when eaten with roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings mushy peas and gravy. The piece remaining resembles the north face of the Eiger and will I suspect be as hard to conquer. It is to be eaten on Christmas Day with the Remains of the bronze turkey that is to be tomorrows dinner. I never cook on Christmas day.......never
.
Our cat has haunted the kitchen all day until she received her share of the hot beef, after which, replete she slept in the armchair for the rest of the night.
It has been a lovely day, we played cards and drank wine , ate chocolates and then regretted it, all the lovely Christmassy things, just a wonderful busy happy day, I ask for nothing more.

A VERY LONG BREAKFAST AND A BUSY AFTERNOON

My son and I were up early this morning, we had coffee together and periodically made attempts to rouse sleeping beauty from his sleep. We tried everything short of of dynamite.......nothing worked.
We were expecting a guest for breakfast so something had to be done. My son did his wonderful and extremely loud Brian Blessed impersonation....... that worked...... it worked next door were they too had slept late.......it worked across the lane where the men gritting the pavements started to shovel more quickly. I do wish however that he had warned me of his plan as when the yell went up I dropped an egg on the floor out of sheer terror!
I set about making two dozen blueberry muffins and put our neighbour on a fifteen minute stand by. Breakfast was a merry meal in spite of the bad beginning, we told tall tales and jokes and emptied two very large pots of tea before we were done. Our guest left at twelve forty five as he is going up north for the holidays and had a few things to sort out first.

After we had cleared the kitchen I made a couple of lemon drizzle cakes for the other boy next door who has his family arriving tomorrow, they are both so kind and such fun that it really is no trouble to bake for them. After that I needed some fresh air so I took a buggy ride into the village to deliver a few cards the distribution of which has been delayed by the snowy weather.
Felling much refreshed I put together a casserole of wild boar, rabbit , pheasant and venison, cooked in cider with juniper berries and rosemary, this went into a deep pie dish and was covered with a puff pastry crust and served with sweet potato. This was followed by mince pies and clotted cream, I had intended to make brandy butter but I ran out of time.

I began this morning to defrost a huge piece of beef, it is to be our dinner tomorrow . I expect to get at least a quart of good dripping from this delectable piece of meat, I also expect it to take about five hours to cook as it is a nose end of brisket.
This is and old fashioned cut of meat seldom seen in these times, these days you always find that brisket has been boned and rolled and it is fit only for a pot roast my joint has the bone left in and all the fat left on and although it takes some skill to cook it is not that difficult and the meat is as tender as the best cuts of beef and as far more flavour. We eat it northern style with mushy peas, Yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes, I can hardly wait.

I have been given a bedside cabinet today, I am so lucky, it fits exactly and replaces a very dilapidated and venerable chest of drawers which I am glad to see the back of.
We lit our candles last night and they burned until morning, I hope that the year ahead while bring health wealth and happiness to you, and to us.

SOLSTICE

Tonight is the longest night of the year, the solstice. For me this is a feast night, a night for lighting bonfires to chase away the darkness,and as a pledge for the return of the sun. it is the original great winter festival, stolen by the Christians as indeed many of our festal days were.
I bare them no ill will, their story is the same as ours, it is a story of rebirth, renewal and sacrifice,the difference to put it very simply is that we do not reverence a man being tortured to death upon a tree, we reverence the tree itself, as we do all living things.

People of my faith have been hounded down the centuries for our beliefs, not because we were evil but because our faith asked us the respect all life and to and to care for the earth which gives life to us all. The church was at odds with us because we did not seek to control with threats of hell fire, we did not keep our knowledge only for the priest class, we taught love, honour, respect and generosity of spirit. It was and is a way of life to those who believe and not a prayer of a hymn chanted of a Sunday and then forgotten for the rest of the week. The Christian church was afraid of us and so they called us witches, devil worshippers and worse.

It is certain that there are and always have been those who do evil deeds for the sake of there own gain. Every one has heard of the Borgia's and the Medici, the heads of these notorious families both became Pope, I rest my case.
Mine is a gentle faith, one which seeks to nurture all things that are good in the world, not by word but by deed. I live within my faith and try always to be true to my beliefs, often I fail, it is not an easy way to live.
I believe that all faiths have value if they make us care about each other and the world we all inhabit, But a faith which condones torture, greed and war for gain must be wrong , as surely all life is sacred.

Caring for the world we live in has became a matter of politics, this is wrong, it is a matter of common sense. If we continue to deplete the worlds resources we shall cease to exist, yet in spite of this for the sake of economics we plunder and rape our way through our beautiful home world.
This is madness, we shall have to stop when these resources run out so why not stop now while there is still time.

The great rule of my faith is this “Only take as much as you need, and always give back more than you take.” Want and need are not the same and yet we hear .I want this or that from both adults and children,. If we all took only what we need perhaps there would be fewer needy people, perhaps there would be enough to go around.
I am aware that some may call this philosophy naïve and perhaps it is, but what is the alternative in the long term.

I am unable now to light fires and celebrate in the traditional ways but tonight in our home every room will be ablaze with candles and we will go forward with hope in to a new year.
Happily at last the faith of Pagan England has been recognised by the authorises, we are once more free to practice our beliefs in our own way and in our own sacred places, we are home in our own land at last.

HOORAY FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Today our Christmas holiday begins at last., the moment my son came home from work the festivities began. He had been to and early morning party with his friends from work and was in high spirits. We celebrated with coffee and brandy and made our plans for tomorrow. I am having a no cooking day, it will be fish and chips tonight but tomorrow the special Christmas meals will begin.

In the afternoon our neighbour came round, for tea, he brought with him a lovely picnic basket, a lamp and a camera tripod, the later will be most useful as I am getting a camera for Christmas. We shall find the picnic basket a help in the summer when we eat in the orchard as it will mean that we have to make less journeys to and fro with plates and cutlery.

While we were having tea another kind neighbour called and offered to take our rubbish bags to the road for us as the path was so slippery, really people can be so very kind and we are fortunate to have so many caring friends about us. I have known her father for many years, we used to have adjacent allotments, I gave her a bottle of damson Gin for the family, she did not want to take it at first but We eventually persuaded her. She also offered to pick up shopping for us as she works next door to a supermarket. People like her are pure gold and can not be valued too highly I think.

The sky is heavy with snow and as I write the first flakes are falling,I a happy that my son does not have to battle his way through the weather tonight, he is so tired and will be tucked up in bed well before eight tonight, poor boy.
My neighbour is also on holiday now so he will be joining us for breakfast during the week until he goes to spend the holiday with his family.

The cakes are going down well, I an glad I made so many as we are sure to have lots of callers this week, I to be caught with an empty cake tin would cause a scandal in the village from which my reputation might never recover.
I expect the cat will try to get in to bed again tonight, if my hot water bottle goes cold I may let her!
I must say that I feel very sorry for all the poor travellers who are trying to get home for the holidays. I know I should break my heart if it happened to me, although I love the snow I hope it holds off long enough for every one to make it home.
I am off now to wash my hair, I was too tired to do it yesterday and I look a bit frazzled, frost makes my hair frizz, rain makes it curly and hot weather makes it straight. It is very long and I look like an old witch, which indeed I am, perhaps it is time I had it chopped off. Perhaps not.

A BAKE IN

I had a great time today making all sorts of goodies for my sons friends at work, the kitchen smelled so good that the neighbours came to see what was going on. Luckily I had lots of interesting bits and pieces and all went well.
After a while I felt very hot so I went out on the buggy to the florist at the hospital to buy the traditional Christmas balloon for my son, believe it or not the one I brought as a welcome home for him in September is still floating about in his room. It must be a record!
The journey was more difficult that yesterday as the snow had frozen in ruts and although the buggy trundled along quite well she objected the turning corners and the back wheels spun on a few occasions,. Still I pressed on and arrived home complete with a huge balloon all safe and sound.

The pathways and roads around the hospital were a disgrace, none had been gritted and every path was a dangerous icy slide. The approach to the main entrance is up a steep incline and as I chugged my way up I saw several unfortunates sliding down on their bums.
The accident and en emergency unit complains that they are overwhelmed with broken arms and legs in this type of weather, they will get no sympathy from me, today it looked as if they were touting for business!

We had a very quick breakfast this morning of toasted cheese oatcakes and I decided as I was doing pastry I would make a rabbit pie for dinner. It is a Somerset dish and uses bacon and vegetables and the whole thing is cooked in cider before being tucked under a crust of puff pastry, we like to have a baked sweet potato with this dish.
My cat has been playing with the computer again. I left my blog half written and foolishly put the key board cover on when I had to leave it for a while. Unable to access the keys she seems, by the amount of cat hair on the cover, to have rolled around on it. I was obliged to run a search programme to retrieve the blog. She watches every move I make on the computer as she sits on my desk, she cannot use the mouse but she manages the pad quite well. She is a great fan of U tube, she will start watching reality T.V shows next, heaven help us!

about it as we hope to get the Scalextric out ….now don't laugh It is after all my second childhood.
It is freezing hard tonight and puss is ensconced on the radiator shelf with a beautific expression on her furry little face, she is so cute, every so often she stirs a little and looks to see if I have gone to bed yet,. The moment I do in about three hours time she will jump up on the bed and curl up in the hollow of my knees, or if it is really chilly she will try to get in to bed . Years ago I owned a beautiful cream Persian cat, he adored me as much as I loved him. He spent every night in winter curled up around my head like a Davy Crockett hat, to our mutual advantage!

I am off to get a bath now before Pa bags the bathroom, he spends hours in there wallowing in hot water., I think it eases the pain in his joints, poor love.
I think I shall watch a movie tonight, “Scrooge” I think, its a great picture. Night night.

POLAR EXPLORATION

The snow had just begun to fall as my son arrive home this morning and within a few minutes the lane was white. Within half an hour it was several inches deep and it was at this point that I remembered that I was in need of a odds and ends. To say the truth I was looking for an excuse to go gallivanting in the snow again. I waited until my son had gone to bed with his strictures about not going out side today ringing in my ears, and then leaving Pa snug in his cosy armchair I trundled out into the lane.
The snow was deep by this time but I bowled along with out any difficulty, my lights were on front and back which is more than I can say for a good many of the drivers I met along the lane. The ride was smoother than usual because the depth of snow evened out the bumps and holes which jolt me about under normal conditions.

My first call was at the pet shop, we needed cage liners for our bird, Charlie, I was by now totality white from head to toe, my fur trapper hat a great dome of snow. The girls in the shop fell about laughing, I was used to it by now having encountered similar behaviour yesterday. One of the girls said I looked like a snowman and I asked her to hurry up with the liner papers before I started to thaw out, and that made them laugh even more and I left the shop to the strains of We're waling in the air, and I laughed so much that I caused a small avalanche of snow to fall from my hat and in to my lap.

Feeling very intrepid I decided to push on further in to town to pick up some bacon, some how or other we had forgotten to take some out of the freezer last night and I had promised Pa a cooked breakfast. Extra flour was needed too so those items with some cheese completed my purchases.
Returning home was lovely, even though I was smothered in snow. I was not at all cold as I had on a thick waterproof fleece lined parka, thick socks and boots a fur hat ,scarf gloves and heavy cord trousers, I could hardly move for the weight of clothes. On the way I stopped to take some photographs in the lane, the snow was falling so fast and thick that I could hardly see a thing. I love the fuzzy blurry look that distance has when it is snowing, bare trees look almost like fur, there is a strange softness that is beautiful to me.

I was pretty fuzzy myself when I arrived home covered in several inches of snow, I had to shake myself like a dog before I could go on doors. Pa had hot coffee with a splash of brandy waiting for me and as soon as I finished it I set about frizzling bacon on the griddle, frying eggs and g toasting the oat cakes under the grill. The fresh air had made me ravenous and I ate the whole plate full and so I am glad to say did Pa.

Next came the serious business of making the date and walnut cakes, just deciding which recipe to use took ages but eventually I got them in to the oven without incident.
, and prayed for a good out come. All the while the feeders in the garden were full of small birds squabbling and jostling with each other for the best places , we added a good helping of meal worms to the feeding trays and extra fat block and raisins for my Lord and Lady Blackbird They were still feeding as darkness fell. I always leave the shed windows open a crack in winter for my Robin and the Blue tits have lots of nest boxes dotted about to roost in at night.
We had been planning to have some fish and chips delivered this evening but as the roads were so bad I made a baked cheese pasta dish, very satisfying on a cold night.
The cat Twiggy was literally out of her depth today, she took a flying leap off the top step ane more or less disappeared into the snow, she struggled out howling dismally and has not left the vicinity of the radiator since. Very wise.

To all who mush travel tonight I wish a safe journey, and a warm welcome at your destination.

AN EARLY START AND A LOVELY SUPRISE

I woke up this morning to the sound of my son thundering up the stairs, and his face beaming smiles around the bedroom door. As I sat up in bed I noticed that he was holding something behind his back and the next moment he presented me with an exciting looking parcel. Inside the package was a beautiful patterned jug, just the sort of thing I like ,there was also a card. By the time I had read all the lovely things that people had written I was close to tears and when my son read it he was a bit misty eyed too.
The gift was from my sons friends at work, a thank you for making them cookies from time to time, it was a kind and very thoughtful thing to do , and I am glad to know that the treats I send helps them a little, I know how very hard they all work, I also know how proud my son is of every one of them. For myself I thank them for making my sons life so much easier by their heroic endeavours.
The jug came at just the right time as I was recently given a large teapot and sugar bowl in exactly the same shade of blue,and the gorgeous jug gives the ensemble a rather dashing air. I shall be proud to use it at tea time and the shelf where it is displayed looks all the better for the new addition.
I had to rush off to the shops this morning as I needed some copydex,to finish my sons fancy dress costume. Just before I left the house it began to snow and by the time I had reached the shops I looked like a mobile snowman, a fact which gave great enjoyment to some children who were being sent home early by their prudent teachers. We exchanged a few snowballs, it was great fun to play in the snow again. I enjoyed my adventure and the buggy preformed well on about three inches of snow.
On my return I set about making some cranberry and walnut cakes,a recipe from an American cookery book, and one that I have been meaning to try for some time. It is an odd recipe as the butter is melted and goes in after all the other ingredients have been added. Fortune favoured me and the cakes came out of the oven looking exactly like the picture in the book. They must stand for at least a day before they are eaten, the book says, so that all the flavours mingle, I hope they taste as good as they look.
Dinner tonight was a cottage pie topped with cheese and served with carrots, parsnips and lots of rich gravy, I was so hungry and it was just right for tonight, I ate a healthy helping and feel much better for it.
The Christmas meat arrived today while I was out buying glue. The turkey is a free range bronze one and It cost a lot less than the same thing brought locally. The duck too is a free range one and cost only pennies more than a Tesco bird and taste so much better. The rest of the hamper was made up of bacon. A rabbit, gammon steaks,pork steaks, some diced mixed game , chicken and beef.
Almost everything is ready in the house now so that if we are mewed up we shall still have a good dinner on Christmas day, old habits die hard!
I still have quite a lot of baking to do but it is the sort of baking that is fun, I love playing with all the rich ingredients that go to make Christmas special. The house smells lovely and spicy, and people keep dropping in for coffee or tea and cake, I cook with an audience like a T.V chef, the language is a little better though, just a little!

FANCY DRESS

It is dark as I write, the curtains are open and in the light of a street lamp in the lane I can see that it has begun to snow..All the old excitement seems to bubble up inside me and a hear the child inside my head saying “oh please let it settle.” I know better than to voice these childish thoughts as the two men in the house take a dim view of snow, they see only the disruption it causes.

I love snow, I grew up in a place where we were always snowed in during the winter months, sometimes for weeks. I have struggled through blizzards to reach the sheep and cows, I have spent days helping to open the lanes , a party of us with shovels, singing and laughing.. One year a neighbouring farm vanished completely under a huge drift of snow, after we had dug out the farmer we helped him to dig tunnels under the snow to the cow sheds and the piggery. I shall never forget the squealing of those poor pigs as our shovels hit the door , they were so hungry, the farmer had been snowed in for two days. The snow formed a thick icy crust that year and above our farm you could touch the tops of the telegraph poles, there was still snow in the ditches that August. I hope I never grow up!

I gave myself a day off and apart from baking a toad in the hole for dinner I have done no other cooking today. I did do a little shopping , bits and pieces like candied papaya, dates and walnuts and more dried ginger. This time I bought a great bag of the stuff, ginger cakes are so popular this year and every one seems to want one, I am baking them three at a time these days.

Some time this afternoon was spent sticking jewels on to my sons fancy dress costume, it looks quite good but I do wish I had had more time as I would have liked to make a purple robe for this year. I used to make hundreds of costumes for panto years ago, it was such fun, especially animal costumes for shows like “Alice” I have performed in a few too, even more ages ago.

I do regret that I can no longer run about kicking up the snow and throwing snowballs, but there is a good deal to be said for watching the birds on the feeders and the cat chasing snow flakes while I fill the kitchen with the warm, lovely smell of baking, treats for those travellers returning from their snowy adventures. I am more than compensated by these more sedate delights, life has a way of giving us something in return for what it takes away.

A CANDLE LIGHT DINNER

Tonight we had a romantic dinner by candle light, courtesy of Southern Electric and an inopportune power failure. I was about to wake my son with a cup of tea when we were plunged into darkness.
Being a country lass I am well used to these events and always keep candles and matches at hand so in no time at all the candles blazed and all the old oil lamps and hurricane lamps were lit. I must say the house looked lovely, I do love candle light.
We called Southern electric and went through the rigmarole of button pressing and discovered that the power was out over quite a wide area. Then the lights came on, don't blow the candles out I shrieked and sure enough the lights went out again five minutes later.
Then came the question of what to do about dinner, and thank the Gods for duel fuel cookers.
Omelettes were a possibility or soup perhaps, we had lots of cheese and plenty of mushrooms and new bread so omelettes were decided upon. Each of us had a three egg omelette and very nice they were.
I would have liked something more substantial as I missed breakfast this morning and lunch too now I come to mention it, still needs must when the devil drives.
The cat of course never turned a hair she dozed all the way through our crisis which was as well, I should have hated one of us to meet her on the stairs in the gloom.

The lights came on again but could not be trusted and I wrote my blog as an act of faith as the modem was not working. This of course pays me out for saying that I seldom had anything much to write about, I knew when I wrote it that I was tempting fate

Still the candle light is lovely and made us feel rather festive, while we ate our frugal meal.
I have spent the entire day baking while Pa was out, bread,cakes and six dozen oatcakes for breakfasts next week I think that if the power stays on I shall have a very large succulent bacon sandwich for my supper...... of some grilled kippers. ?..perhaps not!

THE PRESSURE IS ON

It was not until I posted last nights blog that I realised I had passed my two hundredth blog, I can not believe that I have kept going this long. I suspect that I haver become rather repetitive by now but hey, that,s life folks. I must admit I often wish I had something really amazing to tell you occasionally, the trouble is that amazing occurrences are, more often that not of an unpleasant nature so I shall keep quiet and not tempt fate.

My son was fitted with his stress recorder this morning as planned. We were expecting something a little more high tec than a rather ancient arm band, which apparently is supposed to inflate every hour and record the blood pressure on a small black box, it all looked a bit Heath Robinson to me, and every hour makes a sound that resembles terminal flatulence,but what do I know? Thankfully it does not appear to have disturbed the poor boy's sleep so that,s a mercy. I still say that it seems silly to cause the patient undue stress to see if he suffers....from stress!
I am now under starters orders for the last few hectic baking days before the holiday. I suppose I am under pressure too but even so I enjoy the challenge, I should be lost if I had no one to cook for, I should have to resort to dragging total strangers in off the street and load them up with mince pies and short bread!

I went to but some wine today, a lovely Chardonnay to go with the turkey and a rich Merlot for the feast of roast beef. Our beef is served on large trenchers of two day old bread, all the juices are absorbed in to the trencher and the over all effect is great fun. I always cook a huge joint of nose end of brisket, not the awful bone and rolled stuff that the supermarkets peddle but still on the bone and with all the fat left on. A twelve pound joint takes about five or six hours of slow roasting and for the first three and a half hours the meat is covered in foil and cooked in about a pint and a half of water to keep the meat moist. After that the juices are poured off and the meat is then cooked until crisp on the out side while remaining juicy in the middle.. During the final stage of cooking the roasting pan will fill with wonderful beef dripping, enough to do your roast potatoes for weeks, or if you wish it can be spread on hot toast and sprinkled with a little salt of even brown sugar. If you try this make sure you put plenty of the brown jelly which forms at the bottom of the dish on your toast with just a little of the fat. I imagine that at this point all the health fanatics well have run screaming from their computer terminals and I shall be branded a villain by the cholesterol police, so be it! Coincidently a joint of this size will cost less than a quarter of the price charged for a fore rib roast and it tastes better.

I made a batch of sultana scones this afternoon, I have not made any for ages and I did enjoy them.
Dinner tonight was a quick dish of Spanish chicken with assorted salads and wraps, this was at the request of both my son and Pa, I was happy to oblige.
My little cat twiggy now has a permanent winter roost on the bedroom window sill. She has discovered that she has a much better view of the garden and the lane than she gets down stairs with the added bonus of a large radiator to toast her little pink paws upon. She finished of the last of the partridge this morning , she adores any kind of game. When she had finished she washed her face and went to sleep, since when she has not so much as twitched a whisker, lazy creature.
I think that even a sleepy cat is fine company, a fire burns warmer and a room is always cosier when a contented cat is disporting itself upon the softest chair or on the hearth rug.

I hear that the snow is returning on Thursday, keep warm , if you can and stay safe,

MORE WAFFLE

Today I finally found the time to try out my new waffle iron. Having spent ages tracking down the right one and spending hours conditioning the blessed thing it has been gathering dust for several weeks as I have been too busy to try it out. Today I struck while the iron was hot...that was a rotten joke but I could not resist
I followed the instructions to the letter (mistake number one.) I followed the batter recipe to the letter (mistake number two.). The batter looked rather thick but not withstanding I loaded the iron, waited the required three minutes and turned the iron over to cook the other side. The resulting mess took over half an hour to remove from the pan.
Undaunted I diluted the remaining batter slightly, brushed the iron with clarified butter, lowered the gas and started again. After yet another nervous wait the result this time was a perfect, round , golden. delectable waffle which I quickly smothered in strawberry jam and shared with my son. Waffles are now officially on the breakfast menu from now on, just in time for the holiday too, what could be better.

I last ate a waffle forty years ago , at Blackpool on a day trip. To be exact I ate five waffles that day,they were a rare delicacy in those days and have been even rarer until today, I must remember to buy some maple syrup.

My son was up rather too early this morning as he is working tonight, too make matters worse he has to go to hospital tomorrow morning before he can go to bed. He is to be fitted with a monitor that measures stress ,and I predict that there will be plenty of it if they keep him waiting. He then has to have it taken off on Wednesday morning, which means of course another day with less sleep. than he needs. It is difficult to see the benefit of this sort of treatment, to me it seems crazy.
Tonight we had soup with new bread for dinner, I made a special recipe that had been a family favourite through several generations.

ALL IN THE POT SOUP
2 onions
8 rashers of streaky bacon
half a small pumpkin or squash
2 carrots
1 parsnip 2 sticks of celery
half a red pepper
a hand full of red lentils
3 cloves of garlic
salt and pepper
I pint of chicken or vegetable stock
half a pint of milk
Chop the bacon and all the vegetables roughly. Fry the bacon slowly in a large heavy pot, when it has given off its fat add the onions and cook unti they soften then turn up heat and add all the other vegetables and caramelise slightly them add the stock and simmer covered for 30 minutes. Blitz in a blender with the milk and season as you like.
If you are not on a diet you can add cream, but we find that it is fine with milk.
Serve with crusty bread of buttered toast.

I hear that the snow is returning later in the week, this could prevent our turkey and a few other seasonal treats from arriving from Devon. Luckily I have two huge joints of beef reposing in the freezer so we shall just have to make do with those. Let it snow, let it snow , let it snow.

A PARADE OF CHRISTMAS TREES

(And a much better day)
First let me apologize for yesterday, it is not often that I get so discouraged,and to burden you with my problems was unpardonable. It was, however therapeutic and after a reasonable nights sleep for once things looked brighter today.
Pa got up without a fight and wonder of wonders actually washed the early morning coffee mugs, a thing he has not done for months. It was fortunate that he was up early as a friend of my sons arrived much earlier than expected, something to do with the trains I believe. He is such a lovely person, more like a brother to my son than a friend and we treat him as a member of the family. Of course we asked him to join us for breakfast, cooked by my son, a fact which impressed our guest enormously.

Once the meal was over they departed to their game and I tucked Pa up for a nap in his armchair, and while he slept I popped out to the garden centre for a few odds and ends . The garden centre is at the top of the lane less than half a mile from our house and the head of the lane in exactly opposite our cottage. During the past week we have begun to notice large numbers of Christmas trees disappearing down the lane tied on to the roof s of cars, sticking out of windows and one left in a rickshaw would you believe. Today the trickle became a flood, tree after tree, from tiny to enormous rolled past our window, quite a few rolled off the car roofs too as the corner is very sharp where the two lanes meet. I swear that you could hear the twanging of bungees in the living room, not to mention some rather unsavoury language from time to time!

By the time I arrived at the garden centre myself there were not many trees left judging by the large empty areas, the smell of pine trees was lovely though.
Back at home I woke Pa with a coffee and then set about the ironing....*!**!*, then washed my hair.

Dinner tonight came from the Gospel according to Saint Floyd and very good it was. Pot roast partridge on a bed of winter vegetables in a sauce made from port wine blackberry jelly and fresh orange juice. I love Floyd,s recipes, they celebrate the food rather than the chef, ( current celebrity chefs take note).
I have been given a huge box of M and S chocolate biscuits, such a treat, we are keeping then to eat while watching our favourite shows.
My son is back at work tomorrow , the last shifts before Christmas, I hope he has an east week but I expect it will be frantic as usual, the news does not stop because of holidays after all.

A DIFFICULT DAY

I can not say with honesty that today has been anything but dreadful, Pa refused to go to bed last night and at two in the morning I was obliged out of shear exhaustion to leave him to it so I have no idea what time he finally went to sleep. The result of course was that he refused to get up this morning, no amount of begging, pleading or shaking did any good. He would open his eyes and then close them the next moment and go back to sleep
His behaviour has a number of consequences, first, and most important is that he does not take his morning medication on time , often it is a full four hours late which of course only adds to his erratic behaviour and sleepiness.
Then there is the problem of breakfast, ours and his. Either I wait until he is ready to eat or I cook breakfast twice, neither is satisfactory and because of his weight loss I need to make sure that he eats often and enough. I often find that the afternoon has arrived before I have done any housework of food preparation, which means that I spend the rest of the day playing catch up. The stress of this situation has been the cause of my hypertension , I know I need to relax and be less stressed but that is difficult when the daily round consists of the same set of insurmountable problems: and of course I become more tired by the day.
My great fear is that my own health will give way and that I shall be unable to continue caring for Pa.. I am in need of another operation one my leg but there is not way that I can risk spending time in hospital as he simply cannot fend for himself at all.
My son is a wonderful help to me, his very presence is like sun shine and it is impossible to be miserable when he is around, however I will not allow my problems to affect him any more than I can help. Of course he can plainly see what is happening but I try to be cheerful as it hurts him to see me unhappy. The trouble is that some days I just feel so hopeless and wretched that it shows, I can not get out of the house for long and so the build up of stress is relentless.
I am so very glad that my son is spending the day gaming with his friends and will do so tomorrow, he at least gets a much needed break from all this.
What I find most awe full in this whole wretched business is the fact that before Pa became ill we were perfectly happy as a family, looking back it was almost too good to be true. The loss of that perfect , peaceful joy in life is almost too painful to be borne.
So I bash away at my little computer and burden the world with my woes, I send my troubles out in to the air to be diluted by every one else,s equally distressing problems so that it becomes small and insignificant besides such great matters as hunger, earthquakes and floods, the true meaning of suffering which I can only begin to imagine.

My little world is just as it has always been, pretty garden full of birds and flowers, my much loved son, the cottage is still warm and cosy, and yet this has change everything and I hate the fact that this is so. I hate the fact that I am powerless to change things and that I can never return to the old peaceful existence.

I know that I am lucky to have been so happy , I have learned to treasure the good days and when possible to forget the bad, after all tomorrow may be one of the good days ,I hope so.

I have no wish to upset any one who may have the misfortune to read this self pitying rubbish, I expect I shall bounce back tomorrow , I usually do.
I wish for you all the happiness in the world, because in the end that is the greatest gift that life has to offer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PA

Today the dear old boy is sixty one, quite a mile stone and so we celebrated. To begin with we let the old boy sleep until eleven o clock and then woke him with a cup of coffee while I made his favourite breakfast of blueberry muffins, By the time they were ready My son and I were starving ,we ate seven each.
Pa opened his gifts, a huge fur throw and a bottle of port from me and a years subscription to a railway magazine from our son., he had cards too and one contained a cheque from my mother.

Pa had asked for a hazel nut Pavlova for his birthday cake so as soon as we had finished breakfast I set about making a large one. Soon the kitchen smelled wonderfully of toasted hazel nuts and I am happy to say that it came out if the oven an hour later quite perfect. Once it had cooled I loaded it with whipped double cream, blueberries, wine berries, white chocolate drops and dark chocolate shavings,it looked great and tasted good too,we all are to much..
We had already eaten a large rib eye steak each with jacket and salad, so that by the time we had finished the meal we could barely move.

During the afternoon we had a few games of Carcasonne and Draughts , I lost every time but it was fun to play and eat chocolates, and very naughty.
I am sleepy tonight so I am now going to have a hot bath and then it,s off to bed for me.
Night night everyone.

FULL STEAM AHEAD

Tomorrow is Pa's birthday so we decided to get as many of Friday's chores as possible out of the way. Friday is our usual major cleaning day and also the day when the fortnightly grocery order is delivered, and a bread day so today promised to be a busy one, and it was.

The groceries arrived at nine fifteen and by ten were unpacked and stowed away, breakfast came next,fresh coffee and croissant, for a change and as soon as I had finished eating I made three granary loaves and then washed up as the dough was rising.
I had already cleaned the bed room yesterday and as my son is responsible for his room there was only the bathroom to do,this was done as the bread was baking. The kitchen needed a few tweaks, cobwebs in odd corners, you know the sort of thing, and then came the hoovering, hateful job. My son, may blessings lite upon him, does this rotten job when he can as I find it rather difficult these days, I follow him round with the steamer, a marvellous devices which cleans all the different floor surfaces, the tiles, and the rugs and carpets. It will also clean windows although I must admit that it is so long since I cleaned ours that we are thinking of renaming the house Dim View”

Just as we were about finished a friend called to see us, the father of the young lady we make the ginger cakes for. He came to return a bag which I lent to him a few days ago to carry home his cake and some home made sweets. In the bag was a tin of sweets and a parcel containing four CDs of classical music, quite a lot of which was Vaughan Williams, my favourite composer, it was a lovely surprise, He said that it was a thank you for the ginger cakes , I think it was a lovely thing to do. It was lucky I had another cake ready to go, the young lady is feeling much better now and is fonder of ginger cake than ever. It was a happy end to a busy day

Not quite the end though, just as we sat down to dinner a parcel arrived for my son, a gift from a friend in America. The fact that there was a customs charge of almost twenty pounds on it rather took the gilt of that particular piece of ginger bread!
Dinner was a happy sort of meal, lots of cold meats and cheeses, fresh bread and salad and no mountain of greasy dishes to wash up afterwards. Very satisfactory.
All I have to do now is wrap Pa,s gifts for tomorrow and then I can collapse in a heap with my dear little cat, I feel that I might even purr myself tonight.

CHRISTMAS PAST

I was the eldest of three children, I was five when my first brother was born and eleven when a second little brother came along. In those far off times the eldest children were expected to look after the younger ones when they were not in school and I was no exception. I took the responsibility very seriously firstly because I adored them both and secondly because if they got in to trouble of hurt themselves it was I who got the beating, as the middle brother was what is known as a little bugger this was an all too frequent occurrence.

Christmas presented wonderful opportunities for me as I was able to make a little money by going around the local farms to pluck and dress chickens,ducks and turkeys for the Christmas market. We were never given pocket money and so this was the only way to find the cash for buying presents for my brothers. I was quick and neat handed so I was given the ducks to do, these are more difficult to pluck neatly than hens as they have stiff short quills known to us as pens. Customers would complain if these were left in so care and patience was needed ,and as they were slower work the pay per bird was higher. Extra money was paid to those who could dress the birds, this consisted of removing the internal organs and separating the useful gibbets from the rest of the innards,I had been taught to do this by my father at a very early age and so I was well paid. I was the only girl who did this,at the time and thankfully the lads did not seem to mind me making inroads in to their domain.
When I had received my wages I would go on the Wednesday market bus (the only bus of the week) to a small pretty market town to buy gifts for my brothers, mum, dad and my maternal grandparents who lived with us at the farm. Feeling important I would walk slowly among the stalls looking at every thing, actually I always knew what I was going to buy for each person as I had been planning the occasion for weeks. For Granddad, Tom Thumb cigars the same for my father, perfume for my mother, chocolate for granny but most of the money was spent on the boys for the older brother I would buy the nicest, biggest toy car I could afford and for the youngest a cuddly toy , or building blocks,perhaps a toy aeroplane. My final purchase was always a small decoration for the Christmas tree, and I still buy one new decoration every year.
We were such a close family and the house was always full of people, aunties staying for the holidays were something we children loved.

I would plague my mother to allow us to put up the Christmas tree early until one year she agreed at last, and we set off at once to the coppice with a small saw. I chose a Sycamore branch which had the right shape and cut it down, then with my brother holding the branch I garnished it with silver spray pinched from Grannies Hobby box.
While mum Dad and Gran were out we put up out home made tree, helped by Granddad who knew more about what makes children tick than anyone I have ever know. Soon it glowed smugly in the corner, draped with tinsel and hung with fairy lights and baubles. In our eyes it was perfect. My mother was not keen on our tree, she said that it would look as if we could not afford a proper one, this was not too far from true in those days, but appearances were everything. My father and Grandfather reasoned with her and at last she agreed that our tree could stay.

All the family came to our house on Christmas day and the tree was very much admired. Friends from the village were so impressed that the following year we had competition for the best branches to decorate. We children were so proud of our tree and pleased by the praise we had received.
I have never forgotten how that small indulgence made three children feel so special that year, and it cost nothing.....well not quite nothing... I did get a clip round the ear from Gran when she found out that her spray can was empty.!

DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER

The day began early as expected, even Pa was up well before my son left the house at eight thirty for has appointment with the doctor. I made coffee and while we waited for his return I made the stuffing for tonight,s dinner. The table was laid for breakfast and everything was ready by the time he arrived home. I had asked him to pick up a prescription for me while he was there, attached to it was a slip of paper demanding that I present myself for a blood test, a blood pressure test, a urine test and a smear test. Thank you very much Doc and a Merry Christmas to you too!

Since I am not due for a review of my medication for another month it can jolly well wait until after the holiday, I frankly do not have the time or the energy to go stravageing about the various clinics sorting that lot out. My doctor is in surgery only two days a week and the nurse who does the bloods is not there on those two days, this means that I have to make one visit for the blood pressure test and another for the blood test , pick up the urine sample kit and the go again the following week to hand in the sample and get the results as the blood test As for the smear test, for some reason this is done at a clinic rather a long way from where I live and requires me to take a taxi in both directions and takes up an entire morning. Quite what they expect me to do with Pa while all this trotting about is going on I do not know. The last time I left him at home alone I discovered him asleep on the sofa , the kitchen full of steam and the kettle on the verge of melting on the stove, I had been gone less than an hour.
I was not pleased then to say the least to receive this annoying missive and was inclined to have a mild.........rant. The poor messenger got the brunt of my displeasure and although it was not aimed at him he felt that my reaction was a little extreme. That calmed me at once and we settled down to a lovely breakfast of buttered crumpets and jammy croissant.
Once breakfast was over I began the merry task of getting Pa to the Hospital, we made it in the nick of time as he was inclined to dawdle. We need not have worried as the clinic was running late, as usual. Back home and I larded the brace of pheasant with streaky bacon, peeled on chopped the carrots, par-boiled the potatoes ready for roasting and prepared the sprouts, The apple and blackberry sauce I would make just before serving the meal.
Then then followed a very quick trip to deliver a loaf and then it was time for Pa's trip the the Doctor, there seems to be a recurring theme to today don't you think?
In the little spare time I had I placed the Christmas meat order with our butcher in Devon and ordered some pure wheat germ oil as we are all suffering from chapped skin and this is the best remedy there is for the problem. My son put in our on line grocery order and booked a slot for Christmas week at the same time. I have come to the conclusion that multi tasking is new speak for bloody hard work!

Eventually we were all safe at home and I am happy to say that dinner was excellent, we all had good appetites and did justice to the meal. The cat Twiggy picketed the kitchen in a most determined fashion, she adores roast pheasant and woe would betide me If I forgot to give her a share of the meal. Later she purred her satisfaction in my ear as I tried to listen to the news and I must say she sounded much nicer than anything they had to say.

During the course of the afternoon a series of huge parcels arrived for our neighbours who were , of course not at home to receive them and the living room began to resemble a warehouse, fortunately I remembered that we had their front door key so we took the liberty of cluttering up there living room instead of ours. Packages marked fragile have no chance in our house as both Pa and I have a habit of tripping over things, I should hate to sit down with a bump on a set of china dishes or some other delicate item.
Now the work is done and the house is quiet again, the bustle of the day is at an end and we are ready, all of us for an early night so that we are bright eyed and bushy tailed for tomorrow, But not until we have had a lovely long lie in.

THREE HAPPY PEOPLE

Today has been really lovely, all of us at home and the prospect of a whole week having fun together made us all feel very festive in spite of the fact that we were all very tired. Pa and I got almost as little sleep as my night working son, some crackpot kept on sending me text messages at various times during the night, leaving no number. Even our little cat was cheesed off at being disturbed by my rummaging about my mobile every twenty minutes Should I ever be fortunate enough to obtain the number of this .menace I promise you he will never sleep again.
We had a tasty breakfast of potato cakes well buttered and half way through the meal some visitors arrived. I had been expecting them tomorrow but they are the type of people who are always welcome so I made heaps of granary toast and passed round the shortbread tin while we had a good old gossip. By the time they left it was after twelve so I quickly made four more granary loaves and washed up the breakfast things while they rose in the tins and made some soup, mushroom for Pa and I and tomato for my son, while the loaves baked.

The lady who was expected at three thirty, to help us with our mobility problems did not arrive,nor did she call to tell us that she was not coming. This kind of rudeness is all to common these days and I must say that it makes me very cross. I am always busy and I do not have the time to waste on such things, On the plus side it meant that we had an early tea, vital on this day of the week as my son has not slept for over twenty for hours.

I have been amusing my self choosing Christmas cards from “Moon pig,” their website is a bit tricky to say the least, for an old foggie like me but with a little help it worked out very well.
We spent time planning the week ahead, tomorrow Pa and my son both have medical appointments in the morning so I intend to make some butter fudge while they are out and prepare a dinner of roast pheasant for the evening.
I have been bottling our home made liqueurs, we have quite a selection this year, Lime Vodka, Raspberry Vodka, Damson Gin, Orange Rum. Apricot Brandy, Wild Cherry Brandy and Raisin Rum. I used to make wine but these days I find it too time consuming so I make the liqueurs instead. They are always popular at this time of year and the Damson Gin is the best cough medicine I know of, one glass stops the cough and puts you to sleep at the same time. I dosed my son with it before he went to sleep last week.
The house is warm from the days baking and the cosy feeling makes the house seem as happy as we are.

I love days like this, to most people it may seem dull. But to me to have my family at home, warm and safe is the best thing in the world. I can think of nothing that makes me happier and I would not trade it for anything.

GINGER MAKES YOU SNEEZE

It's true as I discovered today to my cost. First thing this morning I decided to make three large ginger cakes, two for the cake tin and one for the friend I mentioned before. The bowl I used was enormous and the ingredients sweet, sticky and spicy, all went well until I began to add the ginger to the dry mix. The ground ginger jar is a large on as I use rather a lot, my hands were a little buttery and as I pulled the lid off the jar it slipped from my hands and landed in a plastic bowl.
Fortunately nothing was broken but the large cloud of ginger powder which rose from the jar had a drastic effect upon both myself and the poor cat, who was,as is usual when I am cooking, pan- handling in the kitchen on the chance that some tasty morsel might come her way. Startled she made a dash for the door but was overcome by a bout of violent sneezing before she got there. I was in no position to help as I too was sneezing my head off. Between us we made a percussion section any orchestra would have been proud to own.

It took quite a long time for the effect of the ginger to wear off by which time I was exhausted, the cat gave me a look of reproach and left in a huff with her tail in the air.
Thank fully the cakes went in to the oven and came out perfect without further incident, the cat however is still avoiding me like the plague.
Apart from the incident with the ginger the day has been a pleasant one, the kitchen smelled heavenly ans the oven kept us warm while we had breakfast, even the ironing seemed less arduous than usual as a favourite from was on the television to amuse me the while.

Tomorrow starts what promises to be a hectic week for us, pleasant though as we shall have lots of visitors, hence the mornings baking.
We are all at home next week and hope to have some games and a few special dinners, I am making no set plans however, remember what happened last time!