THE STRANGE BEHAVIOUR OF HOMO SAPIENS

Having had no alternative but spend several hours sizzling over a hot stove, I found my mind fairly boggled this evening by the number of barbecues blazing away in my neck of the woods. First there is the ghastly smell of petrol, firelighters or paraffin, then comes the smoke followed a short time later by the acrid pong of burning fat. In one case so much lighter fuel was used and the meat put over the fire so quickly that I am convinced the food must have tasted like a firelighter in a bun! We are often asked to attend these punitive events, I am ashamed to report that I find any excuse a good one if it helps me to avoid such invitations.

We do cook outside quite often, however I refuse to stand grilling indifferent looking burgers nor will I preside over the cremation of large amounts of sausages. I cook large joints of belly pork with crispy crackling and serve it on slices of home made bread with a roasted garlic sauce, jacket wedges and lots of salad and dips. Furthermore I only feel inclined to do this when the weather is a damn site cooler that it has been lately. Surely if you are going to the trouble of cooking out of doors something more inspiring than sausages of burgers would be more fun yet they are universally popular even with the local aristocracy. Now before anyone gets the idea that I am a snob I must say that the pork joints I cook are quite large and cost very little and our fire is a very primitive home-made very Heath Robinson affair, and that's another thing I can not work out. Why in the name of glory would any one want to tow a socking great gas fired barbie out side to cook, they might just as well open all the windows and use the ordinary cooker.? It,s incomprehensible.

I must say I feel better having got that off my chest. The occasional rant does you good I think. I just hope the appalling smell clears soon, it reminds me of Dante's vision of the Inferno in smelly vision!

PHEW!

I came to a standstill today, after all that cooking yesterday and two hours ironing this morning I ran out of steam! Having decided to wash my hair I found it almost impossible to dry, you see my hair is very long and so it kept sticking to my back. I was obliged to dry it in the garden and I have to inform you that the result is far from stylish, I look like the wicked witch of the west, so I have put it in a bun and to blazes with it!

One piece of good news is that it would appear that mice do not care at all for the new stuff I scattered about the other day, I picked a huge bowl of strawberries this afternoon, I thought about making more jam but I just couldn't be asked so they will go in to work with my son, next door to the neighbours and will also make a lovely dessert at dinner.

I can't be asked to cook tonight either so we are having fish and chips for a change I can not begin to tell you what a relief that is. I shall have to recover by morning though as tomorrow is bread day and also I have promised to make lasagne, perhaps it will be cooler tomorrow.........faint hope!

The flower garden is looking beautiful but it does need water. I hear there have been rumblings about a hosepipe ban but I shall not worry about that until it happens,”sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” as they say.

Having put all our rubbish out this morning for collection, and having carefully separated all the various bits in to their recycle boxes I was not best pleased to discover that a large proportion of the stuff had been left on the pavement. I suppose one of the bags must have burst and they did not feel like picking it up. It is not long since we had an epistle from the council exhorting us to ensure that foxes did not rip up the bags and that we should be fined if such a thing happened. This very sensible rule does not seem to apply to the people who collect the rubbish........no surprises there then!

On a happier note today I saw the young kingfishers again, they are such amazingly beautiful birds and it is said that they bring good luck to those who are lucky enough to see them, I think myself fortunate already,after all such wonders do not happen every day.

SEASONAL TREATS

Today I baked the first orange and lavender cake of the year, and it has been eagerly anticipated both by my family and the boys next door. The lavender has flowered late this year and indeed the winter was so harsh the several of our venerable bushes did not survive the freezing weather. This cake is one of the highlights of the culinary year for us and during the flowering season I make this cake often.

ORANGE AND LAVENDER CAKE

4oz self raising flour
4oz softened butter
4oz caster sugar
1 level teaspoon of baking powder
1 orange rind and juice
2 eggs
a good tablespoon of lavender flowers...stripped from the stalks of course
3oz icing sugar

Grease and line an 8” cake tin ans set oven to 370f.
Put flour, baking powder, eggs butter and sugar with half the fine grated orange rind in to a mixing bowl an d beat for about two minutes.
Place in centre of oven and bake for thirty minutes them cool on a wire rack.
Mix icing sugar, lavender flowers and the rest of the orange rind with a little of the orange juice to make a mixture that will spread.
When the cake is cool pour over the icing mix, spread and leave to set for a couple of hours.
Every one thinks it will taste like soap until they try it, it is a delicious cake for a hot day and goes well with vanilla iced cream.

Next I made a rose geranium leaf cake using the same basic mixture, leaving out the orange juice and after lining the same sized tin placing three or four scented leaves freshly picked from the plant. The baking time and temperature are the same. When the cake is cooked turn out, remove the leaves then dust the top with a little caster sugar. A fragrant and very seasonal treat with a cup of tea.

The usual loaves were made early in the morning but the kitchen still became very hot indeed so I buzzed off to the river for a little while to watch the kingfishers. Perfect.

Down in the dungeon something stirred

As was foretold the dungeon master held court in the kitchen again, they are such a great bunch, I wish I had somewhere a bit more spooky and dungeon-like for their game. Still, with all the wine flagons bubbling and the jars full of pickled limes, cherries in brandy, oranges steeping in vodka and damsons in gin all looking remarkably like the work of Baron Frankenstein they seemed quite at home. It is good to have so much laughter in the house again.

The warriors ordered pizza in such quantity that the poor soul who delivered it staggered down the path collapsing occasionally under the weight, and thus fortified had a great time killing each other at every opportunity, whilst those of us not engaged in daring deeds ate a quiet lunch in the orchard, and later visited the local garden centre.

All went well until I decided to water the container garden at the rear of the house - the pots dry out so quickly in this heat. By the back door in a large pot there is a beautiful orange rose, it has the scent of cinnamon and at the moment is covered in flowers. While filling the pot to the brim with water I disturbed an enormous nest of ants, who were, not to put to fine a point in it totally brassed of at having been flushed unceremoniously from their abode. They headed straight for the back door via my sandalled feet. I had much ado to prevent the from invading the kitchen and causing mayhem amongst the noble company assembled round the table. I fought a lone and desperate battle against these marauders with the hosepipe on stun and at last I won the day. Rather unwisely I undressed upstairs and shook out my trousers, needless to say I am still finding the occasional we beastie in the most inconvenient of places. Still at least no one noticed......I hope.

Dinner was the quickest thing I could think of, I made steak burgers on buns with lots of caramelised onions and salad, followed by ice cream and lots of very cold fizzy mineral water to drink. Back to the treadmill tomorrow as my son goes back to work, hey ho.

BLOGED DOWN

Last night my son helped me to air the back log of blogs that I had been unable to post in his absence. I can write the blessed things but the method used to post them still baffles me. I am determined to master this problem, I will not be defeated by a damned machine!

Thus morning I managed to get the house to myself, my husband packed off to the shops, my son and a party of friends had departed to the pub where they spend the weekend playing dungeons and dragons... I thought!

No sooner had I covered the table with six dozen oat and treacle cookies cooling nicely. No sooner had I commenced to label the twenty jars of jam ready to store away when the phone rang. The pub, which has had more landlords in the past three months than there are midges in the orchard has closed, can they please come and play in the kitchen,....gulp............Yes of course they can!

Faster than a speeding bullet I tidied away the evidence and made ready for company, thanking my lucky star that I had decided to bake today instead of tomorrow and that I had baked more than usual. Actually it was rather nice to have them back,you see they always used to play here every other weekend, until I became unwell and my son decided to move the venue for my sake like the kind soul he is. I expect they will be here again tomorrow, which means a much earlier start to the day, the only fly in the ointment as it were. My husband is even less mobile than myself and getting him started in the morning is rather like coaxing a vintage car to start after it has been rusting in a garage since 1936 and with no chance at all of managing the Brighton run.
Still it is nice to have them back, they are a cheery set of people, they laugh a good deal and know how to enjoy themselves. Also it gave me the perfect excuse to go into the garden and leave the house work for another day, hoorah!

Dinner was fortunately cold tonight, pate and toast,lots of different cheeses and an enormous salad from the garden followed by iced cream. I may have to re–think tomorrow's menu....ho hum.....!


This afternoon I paid Homebase a visit and purchased a product which claims to repel rodents, the last purchase being a total failure I might add. Armed with this weapon I repaired to the strawberry bed and opened the container, I was assailed by a very pungent aroma of garlic, two things occurred to me at once, firstly that I had no previous notion that there were such things as vampire mice and the second that I had already tried whole cloves of garlic to no avail. Still I sprinkled the stuff about and am hoping for the best, a triumph I suspect of hope over experience!

The sunburned wanderer is now peeling in a most picturesque manner, looks as if he had been stranded in the Gobi desert rather than hill-walking and caving in Derbyshire. It certainly gives him a well travelled appearance and adds the air of a nineteenth century explorer to the usual trogladyte pallor that is the lot of the night worker. It will look great if it tans though.

Well thats all folk, stay cool if you can.

THE HERO RETURNS

This afternoon my son returned from his holiday in Derbyshire, I was so glad to see him, I missed him very much, he is such fun to be with. It's good for him to get away from us old fogies for a while and I wish he would go more often, he needs more time to himself. I know how he feels because I am exactly the same, much as I love people I get quite stressed if I have no time to be by myself, time to unwind, to unravel the knots.

Of course he is full of travellers' tales, it sounds as if he had quite a time. He is however a very odd shade of mahogany in places, so aloe vera was applied at once with good effect. You do not feel your self burning up in the hills as the breeze makes it feel cooler than it is.

Dinner went down very well I am glad to say, it sounds as if he was rather spoiled at his hotel, I don't know how he managed it but they knocked thirty pounds a night off his bill, he is always lucky like that, he almost always gets a room upgrade for no extra charge, if must be his fatal charm.

I baked three wholemeal loaves this morning and took one round to my neighbours, along with some jam (I made another ten jars today), they are such kind boys. Our fortnightly grocery delivery arrived this morning and straight away they came to help. You see they knew my son was away and thought we might have a problem with the heavy things. I am sure we would have been fine but it's so nice to know that help is there if you need it. In a way you might say that we look after each other, it's quite a little commune in fact. We share with each other and also exchange things, for instance an unwanted lawn mower for a chest of drawers or some gardening tools for a DVD player, it's the best form of recycling there is.

Later this year we hope to have a joint garden sale, I have so many books that I need to find homes for and our neighbours have lots of bric-brac to sell. If I can persuade my son to part with a few of the items that currently fill his room it would be a bonus indeed. I put an armchair in there two days ago and I still have not managed to find it!

Avie in Wonderland.

Samuel Johnson,of dictionary fame classified a lexicographer as “a harmless drudge.” I would beg to differ, surely that definition more accurately describes the poor housewife, although my “Old Man” would certainly question the harmless bit!

I shall not bore you with the awful details, suffice it to say that today I disturbed the dust in places that have not seen the hand of man for eons. This is in spite of reassurances from certain parties that a regular cleaning had been done. We each have a room for which we are responsible, mine is of course pristine at all times......

However on entering a certain dark and mysterious cave-like bed chamber I was intrigued to find the initials A.S. Carved above the lintel. Further exploration revealed that beneath the debris of ages there was a carpet and a rug! At this point I was on the brink of calling the British Museum having the conviction that the layers should be excavated by an expert for fear of losing valuable information, such as occurred during the early excavation of Troy.

Pressed for time however I was obliged to proceed alone. How many times I have seen the heroine in a horror film do exactly that and said “stupid baggage”. Still I pressed on. As my eyes became accustomed to to gloom strange shapes began to appear, I felt like Lucy when she entered the wardrobe.

Snakes! Oh my God! No, electrical cables ,miles of them, a booby trap perhaps as in Raiders of the Lost Ark, or even The Goonies. No just boring old computer, TV, Xbox, DVD player, lamp, fan, etc. Feeling very intrepid I pressed on.”Oh help”, two staring eyes. I screamed and ran....followed by the blessed cat.

Armed with a flash light and plenty of twine I made a second attempt,this time reassured by the trail I was leaving an the absence of that pestiferous moggy! With a shout of triumph located a window and flung it wide. As daylight flooded the scene I felt as Howard Carter must have done when he first beheld the interior of Tutankhamen's tomb. It is with such sensational imaginings that the afore mentioned drudge amuses herself whilst getting the house work done. And I you think that's bad wait till I tell you what I found in my son's room!

MIDGES, HITCHES AND HEAT

Small fleas have even smaller fleas
Upon their backs to bite them.
And smaller fleas have smaller fleas
And so ad infinitum.

If that is true I should love to enlist the aid of these tiny,beasties to bite the blasted little horrors that took lumps out of me last night, I look very poxy indeed, and the itching is maddening! That is the price of a lovely evening in the garden. Hey-ho it was worth it. I should love a nice shower and my hair needs a wash, guess what? On the hottest day of the year the pump has packed in so there is no hot water upstairs. Now I am quite happy to have a cold shower, I almost always finish with one and I find it very invigorating, but washing my hair in cold water is where I draw the line. The last time I tried it my brain was numb for a good half hour, most unpleasant.

Today I managed to make another eight jars of strawberry jam and we are now reaching the point where we shall have enough to last the year...woe betide me if we should run out before the strawberry season next year, this year we ran out two weeks before I could make more and I am still hearing about it!

Thanks to the attentions of the mice the crop has been less than I had expected, however there is hope. A beautiful cat has appeared in the orchard, a white tom cat with a perfect black diamond on his face and a black tail. The cat Twiggy is aware of his presence but at present she is giving him the air. I hope that two cats will be better than one when it comes to ridding us of the mouse problem. Isn't nature wonderful. Thankfully our little miss has been neutered so there will not be a kitten problem.



NEWS UPDATE

I have just discovered that the whole neighbourhood has no water, as there has been a power out at the pumping station. This is great news as it means we shall not have the house swarming with plumbers tomorrow.Incidentally it has not proved possible to contact a plumber today. I wonder why?

Kitchen and garden

What a perfectly lovely day it has been, I am so very glad that my son is enjoying it instead of having to try and sleep through the heat in order to go to work tonight. He went caving this morning and in the afternoon climbed Mam Tor. From Castleton village it's a good seven miles through Cavedale, and a very steep climb, luckily there is always a good breeze up there and it makes the climb much easier and the view is spectacular. It is all as he remembers it and I am so glad, the beautiful village I lived in as a child has been trashed by the barn conversion brigade!

This morning I made some buck wheat pancakes, these with a tabuleh, sausage and bacon skewers, a rich tomato and garlic sauce and salad will form part of the welcome feast on my son's return.

Buckwheat Pancakes

3oz buckwheat flour
3oz wholemeal flour
1 egg
pinch of salt
three quarters of a pint of milk
oil for frying

Put all the ingredients into a bowl and beat for two minutes, or you can blitz the lot in a blender if you prefer.
Heat a frying pan of griddle and add a little fat, pour about two tablespoons of the mixture.
Cook until brown then flip over and cook on the other side. It is exactly like making pancakes so it is quite easy. This amount of mixture will make about twelve pancakes.
I usually make at least twice as much and then freeze some for another time, layered between greased proof paper they will keep for about a month.

Next I made cracked wheat bread, this is gorgeous with cheeses and makes amazing toast, if it lasts long enough!

Cracked wheat bread

8oz cracked wheat bread
1 pint water
1 dessert spoon of honey....optional...
1 teaspoon salt
2 table spoons oil
half an ounce of easy bake dried yeast 10 oz white strong plain flour
12 oz whole wheat flour

Pour the boiling water over the cracked wheat and add the honey, salt and oil. Cool. Mix the flours and the yeast and pour on the cooled cracked wheat mixture. Mix well the turn onto a floured surface and knead for ten minutes. Shape into two loaves and place on grease baking sheets.
Bake at 350f /gas mark 4 for about forty minutes.

You can add more honey for a sweet loaf, raisins or dates, even chopped nuts if you like. Have a go, it is well worth the trouble I promise.

In the afternoon I mowed and edged the grass paths in the front garden and set the hose to water as it was very dry. The moment the hose started the poor cat, whom I had not noticed, fled from under the bushes where she had been sleeping and sought refuge in one of her tree houses. She has not yet forgiven me for this act of treachery.

Crayfish salad and some of the lovely bread for dinner, after that a milk shake made with frozen egg custard, bananas and fresh milk, and a short bread biscuit on the side. I intend to laze about this evening, there were lots of bats in the orchard last night, I shall perhaps watch them for a time if the midges are not to predatory.

MIDSUMMER'S DAY

This morning I awoke at dawn to watch the sun rise, and what a beautiful daybreak it was. You do not have to be at Stonehenge or Avebury to celebrate the solstice. Whilst I am glad that these sacred sites are now open for worshippers on this special day I think it is pity that they have been taken over by the fancy dress brigade, who have no real idea of what the truth behind all the flim-flam is.

Athames, goblets and fancy robes are only the quite recent trappings of a much older and much simpler faith, a faith which must be a way of life rather than the parading of costume and ornament, and which can be summed up in a singe phrase”Never take more than you need and always return more than you take”.

In this simple creed lies the salvation of the world, if this sounds dramatic I make no apologies.

In a society where aspiration means only the accumulation of more possessions and higher status
we have been tricked in to the belief that we are nothing without all these trappings, we measure ourselves against those who have more than us, but are they happy? Lifestyle is not something that can be bought. It is some thing that must be lived from your heart and not your wallet. You cannot buy joy or love or trust or friendship. You cannot buy a perfect sunrise or a blue sky. Within each one of us is the ability to give, so why don't we do it more often?

I shall now get off my soapbox, I can be a bit of a pain sometimes.

I made yet another batch of strawberry jam today, I love the sweet sticky smell of it as it bubbles away like molten lava...gorgeous.

My son arrived at his destination safely. For him it is like going home, the wilds of Derbyshire are where he was a small boy, it is a very beautiful place, wide horizons and blue hills. I know he will be the better for seeing it again.

Tonight I am cooking lamb chops with asparagus new potato all things my son hates...while the cats away! Later I shall sit in the orchard as the darkness falls surrounded by the smell of summer and the rustling of the night creatures as they begin their turn to take possession of this beautiful world of ours. Goodnight everyone, happy solstice.

FATHER'S DAY

This morning on the BBC news programme they asked the question, “Are fathers as important as mothers?”. Now to be fair I did not have the leisure to hang about waiting for the answer,in my opinion it was a stupid question in the first place. Of course fathers are every bit as important as mothers, their roles may be different but they are equally necessary to a child.

I had an amazing Dad, the sort every child should have. Whilst my mother was absorbed with raising my two younger brothers and running the house my father took me with him about the farm. From him I learned about birds and animals,what every tree was called. I learned to make a fire and how to care for chickens, and how to pluck and dress them ready for the oven. If any toy was broken he could always fix it, he made bows and arrows, pea-shooter catapults and whistles for us kids, and above all he laughed a lot. No matter what, he could be relied upon to find the funny side.

It is a matter of great sadness to me that my son,who is more like my father than either of my brothers was only a year old when his grandfather died, my dad would have adored him and I know he would have been very proud of him. Sometimes when my son laughs I catch my breath, he has my fathers laugh, his sense of humour and thank the Gods his strength. I have missed my dad every day since he died but through my son he smiles at me every day.

The Pavlova turned out beautifully, no Eton mess thank goodness. My son and I clubbed together and got his dad a CD player for fathers day he also had a book about railways and a silly mug. He has been the best dad a boy could have and it's fun to treat him like a king for a day. I cooked a huge fried breakfast of bacon, eggs and fried bread, Lord help his arteries, and he spent the day happily with his gifts.

My son is away on holiday next week so it will be rather quiet I expect, busy though, the laundry basket is over flowing again, it gives me the jim-jams contemplating the load of ironing that awaits me when its all been washed.

I am not sure if I know how to put my blog on-line so you may not hear from me for a few days,I shall write one each day as usual and post the lot next Friday if I can not do it myself.

WENT THE DAY WELL

I was disturbed last night by a party of disgruntled England supporters who had presumably been drowning their sorrows at the pub in the village. Now I am not at all interested in football, cricket is my game, but I do watch the occasional match if it's important,and I have to say that my sympathy last night was all for the poor fans.

What can I say, the England team played like a bunch of old ladies, as you can see I am trying to be polite,Iv,e seen better football played by school boys,and that,s the truth. I am very sure that if their wages depended on how well they played they would probably play with more spirit, they do not have the incentive to do well,they as get the same money win or loose. Representing ones country does not amount to much compared to the huge advertising contracts these players have. I can remember when football was played for the love of the game and not the love of money. Names like Bobby Moore, Jimmy Greeves, the Charleton brothers Nobby Styles, I could go on. Wayne Rooney is a brilliant player, the like of which has not been seen since the phenomenal George Best but if he can not learn to control his temper he might as well be playing with a wooden leg! The players today are like a pack of arrogant prima donnas, in fact they behave like a bunch of wags. Until football clubs remember that the fans are the soul and heart of any team the people who turn up to watch will continue to be disappointed.

I was I tad sleepy this morning and had a little trouble getting off the blocks, it took two cups of tea and a coffee to get me started but since then all has been well.

First I made the bread, two batons, a baguette and two large bloomers. The while the kitchen was smelling wonderfully of baking I made breakfast, poached eggs on toast.

At last I made the steak burgers,and very nice they were with onion rings and a huge bowl of salad,I should not like to have face my son if anything had gone amiss this time, they are a great favourite with him.

I found a few early raspberries today and some lovely ripe red currants. these with some strawberries, wine berries and some frozen bilberries will decorate the Pavlova. I am making for my husband tomorrow as its fathers day, its his favourite sweet,its also a breeze to make.

Of course now I have said that I shall most likely drop the blessed thing on the floor and be obliged to serve it as Eton mess. I shall reveal all tomorrow.

THE SIEGE CONTINUES

There is an old saying that farmers and gardeners are always moaning,and to a degree its true. It is also true that they often have good cause,and that,s my excuse for having a good old whinge.

The subject today is mice,pesky little varmints ,cute they may be but destructive they most certainly are, especially in a large strawberry bed. I have wondered for a few days what was going on,the strawberries are well netted so it couldn't be squirrels,or pigeons. Today the penny dropped, whilst picking the fruit,and there was only half what I was expecting,I found in the very centre of the bed a heap of strawberries, at least two pounds of them and right away I knew it was mice.

I've known them do the same thing with peas but this is a first for me. I truly am beginning to feel persecuted ,badgers slugs pigeons fox cubs and now flipping mice. I am very sure that if there are any elephants at large in these parts they will be sure and trample my poor garden before they depart.
Every year brings a pest or two but to have the lot at once is plain bad luck.

Moan over. I did have enough strawberries to make ten jars of jam today so I must not e greedy, must I ?

We were to have had steak burgers for dinner, however someone, and he knows who he is forgot to get the mince out of the freezer. Now I will defrost most things in the microwave but mince is not one of them, its dodgy stuff at the best of times so we had sausages with bacon wrapped around, I made some jacket wedges and tarragon dip,oh and a garlic dip for my son. Quite nice but I have had to promise to do the burgers tomorrow instead.

It has been an odd sort of day, I seem to be on a different wave length to everyone else,or perhaps it's as my old gran used to say “It's not me it's them others”.

BREAKFAST AT AVIE'S PART TWO

I believe I mentioned that I was expecting a guest for breakfast today, well about two minutes after he arrived my neighbour appeared. You see I had just spent about an hour making potato cakes and the smell was wafting about, what could I do. Luckily I had made ten dozen so there was no shortage. We are very lucky in that we have the most wonderful neighbours, two smashing young men who are very kind and always ready to help or just have a natter. I value this as in the past I have suffered from a couple of very dodgy, grouchy, grumpy and downright unpleasant characters living next door and it was not a barrel of laughs I must say.

Any way back to breakfast, we began at about 10:30 and after eating lots of potato cakes and drinking lots of tea we needed something sweet so we had coffee and shortcake, thank goodness I made loads yesterday. We had a great time and the party went on until almost 1:30.

The kitchen looked like a war zone and took over an hour to clean up, which I did while my husband basely scuttled off to hospital for a blood test....some people will do anything to avoid washing up. He was gone just long enough, which shows him to be a man of considerable experience!

The next treat was a trip to the supermarket, it really is a treat too as until I got my freedomwagon the only places I have been for the last two years has been the doctor's surgery or the hospital and mighty grim I found it. I had a great time and bought lovely things like crayfish, kippers, pretty tea towels and some mangoes and oranges,..lovely.

Tomorrow I really must make the strawberry jam which I had no time to make today, it is becoming quite difficult to close the door of the fridge.

It has been a lovely day, I don't think I shall ever take the wonderful ordinary little pleasures of life for granted ever again, I missed them more than I realised.

VISITORS

Up very early today as I had asked a recent acquaintance to visit us this morning. I had said “Come for breakfast if you like”. she thought I was joking but I truly meant what I said. Breakfast in our house is usually after ten as the bread making has to be done first,and we are often joined by friends who know that it's more or less open house at breakfast time.

She arrived in good time and before the tea had brewed another friend arrived so it turned into a small party. Lots of gossip was exchanged and my new friend was soon very much at home, it was fun to chat away as I baked a double batch of shortbread, the biscuit tin was empty again, and we all had hot shortbread as soon as it was ready. It always gives me indigestion but it's worth it I think.

They left together at about 1,30 pm and I went into the garden to pick strawberries, with some of yesterdays and some gooseberries I shall be able to make some more jam tomorrow.

I cooked some pork chops for dinner with apple sauce made with frozen apples from our tree, peas and mashed potato. I did two huge pans of potato because tomorrow I want to make potato cakes. They make a wonderful breakfast and freeze very well so it pays to make lots if you can. We shall have a guest for breakfast tomorrow and I know these tasty treats are a favourite.

I honestly prefer to have guests for breakfast as it is so wonderfully informal and I am much less tired in the morning, I am afraid dinners are quite beyond me these days which is a shame as I love to feed people.


POTATO CAKES

1lb cold mashed potato
4 oz plain flour
2 large pinches of salt
4 oz melted butter
A small amount of oil for frying

Mix the potato, flour and salt together and add melted butter. Work into a dough then roll out on a floured surface to about a quarter of an inch thick, then cut into rounds with a 2 or 3 inch pastry cutter.

Fry in a very hot pan which has been very lightly greased with the oil,and brown on both sides, I do eight at a time on a griddle but you should get at least three in a frying pan, serve hot with butter or with bacon and eggs for a treat.

To freeze, leave to cool and wrap in cling film, they will be fine for about a month.

Hope you enjoy them.

POSTMAN'S KNOCK

Well, my poor boy survived last night and returned this morning very tired indeed, his eyes looked like two tinned gooseberries. After breakfast and a chat he went hopefully to bed and thank the Gods within minutes the noise coming out of his room was similar to that made by a chainsaw.

Thankful for small mercies I set about the morning chores, not least of which is waking my husband, a task which requires patience and persistence far beyond the call of duty. Having at last managed the near impossible I celebrated by making a pot of tea and some nicely boiled eggs for breakfast. It was at this point that the post man arrived. With as much haste as a couple of disabled old codgers could manage we made a dash for the door.......success, my husband opened the door before he knocked....phew!

After breakfast I settled down to preparing the meat for our evening meal and cleaning up the kitchen. As I was planning to wash my hair my husband delayed his trip to the village in order to for stall any delivery men from hammering on the door,and again he was fortunate. Mission accomplished he set of and I went upstairs to get on with the ironing, all the time keeping a sharp eye on the window I was soon obliged to go in search of coat hangers, I wonder where they go when they disappear? The moment my back was turned there came a violent hammering at the door, it sounded like a party of stormtroopers at least. Desperate to stop him from knocking again I got to the door in record time by missing my footing and landing with bump, thankfully my fall was broken by a large shopping trolley. I managed to open the door before he knocked again and took the parcel with as good a grace as possible. That thank the Lord was the last visitor of the day.

Other than these events the day has been very pleasant. I picked still more gooseberries and pottered about the garden.

The bird population has soared as each day newly fledged young appear at the feeders, young robins abound, starlings, and a lot of hooligans they are, and for the first time this year young Dunnocks are popping in and out. I feel so lucky to have such riches on my doorstep, long may it last.

BELL RINGERS, BREAD AND BAD LANGUAGE

I believe I have mentioned that fact that I live very close to a beautiful old church, so close in fact that there are graves within just a few feet of our house. The occupants of the graveyard give us no trouble at all, which is more than can be said of the bell ringers who inhabit, or should I say infest the twelfth century bell tower. In the normal course of events I must say that I have nothing what ever against the ringing of church bells, indeed, our peel is said to be one of the finest in the south east of England. Normally they practice on Tuesday morning and again on Friday night. Armed with this knowledge my son, who's working week commences on Monday night is able if he wishes to take a sleeping tablet and remain in blissful ignorance of the bell ringers prowess. Occasionally, however, and today was one of those occasions, they basely elect to ring on Monday mornings, honestly how low can you get? There I was happily kneading the days batch of bread dough when vwith a great clash they began to ring the changes. “Oh bother”. I said, “Oh blow and oh dear me”.

Well you know what I mean. I n not more than a few loud peels rumblings, creaking bed springs and genteel curses could be heard from upstairs, “A pox upon bell ringers and a plague take the lot of them!” You know the type of thing. They rang beautifully and without mercy for a full two hours,then broke for lunch. A blissful silence descended upon us all, like a blessing, and we gave fervent thanks to the Almighty. Before our gentle prayers had reached the pearly gates they began again and continued for a further two hours. History will not record the trenchant remarks and vehement abuse that rained down, or rather up on the heads of the unfortunate musicians. I do hope that none of the calumnies heaped upon them do any harm, or do I!

LAZY SUNDAY?

Sundays in our house don't actually amount to very much. Until quite recently my husband, had for many years worked in the tourism industry and so worked almost every weekend and bank holiday which was not much fun and no time off in lieu either. The extra money came in handy but it is rotten knowing almost every one is having a good time except yourself.

The current problem is that my son, who works one week on and one off, he works all night shifts, so that he spends most Sundays in bed and we have to creep about like mice, or he has lots of friends to see on the weekends he has off, so a lie in bed is out of the question, it's up and away.

Over the years I have made use of these non-weekends to do boring chores or more happily to get into the garden, no mowing or strimming however! Thankfully it's not all bad, I confess to feeling rather smug when I see news reports of traffic jams, crowded beaches and so forth! Life has its compensations I always say.

Things are looking better in the vegetable garden,salad is very plentiful and there is a great diversity of types. The herbs also are flourishing and it is lovely to be able to use them fresh.
We shall I hope have carrots soon, carrot root fly permitting, and the potato plants look very promising indeed.

I never do a roast dinner on Sunday for the reasons I gave earlier, we usually have that meal on my son's off week. Tonight I am making chicken in a rich tomato and herb sauce and a a mixed mushroom pasta for me as I have eaten the other dish more often than I like.

There are strawberries for afters and they look wonderful. I have not made any jam yet as we are eating them as fast as they are picked, time enough to make the jam when we are all tired of
them, which at this rate will not be long!

Well off we all go with hope into a new week,new plans, good intentions, I wonder how long it will be before hope disappears over the horizon with its backside ablaze! We shall see.

THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES

With everyone out of the house, I decided to make a big batch of biscuits, enough to fill a large tin. It is always best to do this when the family is not at home as they love hot cookies so much that about half of them vanish before they are cool.

FOOL PROOF COOKIES

4 OZ BUTTER
2 OZ CASTER SUGAR
4 OZ PLAIN FLOUR
2 OZ RAISINS
A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE

Cream butter and sugar till pale and fluffy, add essence. Stir in the raisins and flour.
Roll into balls about the size of a walnut and place on a greased baking sheet .then press down with a fork dipped in hot water. Bake in the oven at 180c for about twenty minutes. Move carefully to wire cooling tray. Job done. You can substitute chocolate chips instead of raisins if you like.
This quantity makes about fifteen, to fill my cookie tin I multiply every thing by three.

The cat, Twiggy is in her element at the moment as she loves summertime, the windows are open till late and she sits for hours watching hedgehogs, foxes and badgers from the safety of the window sill. She sleeps in the shade of old fruit trees when it's too hot, or in one of her two tree houses. If she tires of those pleasures she rolls for hours on a large shaggy catnip plant until she gets as high as a kite. In other words she is spoiled rotten. I do wish however that she would desist from expressing her gratitude by leaving the half chewed body parts of dead rodents in inopportune places. Under the breakfast table for instance or much worse on the bed, not that I am afraid of mice you understand, but it certainly puts you off your toast and strawberry jam at breakfast.

THE GREEN MAN

Have you ever walked through a wood or forest and thought you saw faces among the leaves, perhaps you have? My mother who is well into her eighties tells of a walk through some woods near her home. She was accompanied by her aunt and two young children, it was a bright summer's day, and she was in her early twenties at the time. One of the children ran off into the deeper part of the wood and my mother ran after him, and just as she caught up with the boy she glimpsed a movement beside her, and turned just in time to see a twisted little figure of a men between the trees. She always says that she was afraid that the boy would see it and be upset so she hurried him away.

She describes a gnarled figure twisted like a tree trunk dressed in brown and green, she took a good look at it and swears it's face moved - it blinked and seemed every bit as startled as she was. Of course, she knew everyone would laugh at her and so she said nothing for over thirty years, until I had a similar experience and mentioned it to her. My green man was among some oak branches and I was sitting in the tree reading a book, it laughed out loud at my astonishment and them vanished. I really expected her to laugh, but instead she gave me a huge hug and told me her story. I do not expect anybody to believe these stories, it does not matter if you don't. I saw what I saw and to find some one else shared the experience was a great relief to me. I have never seen anything like it since but I keep looking, I am sure there is an eternal spirit inhabiting the last remaining woodlands. Go and have a look for yourselves.

I think we all need a little magic at times, if not, then why are 'The Lord of the Rings' and 'Harry Potter' so popular. I am convinced that the truth is out there.

Having now convinced all and sundry that I am barking mad, I think I shall change the subject.

Today is a major cleaning day for me and I hate it with a passion, I will happily cook and bake all day but, I HATE HOUSEWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To all those poor souls who share my affliction, I say, get a steam cleaner. You can pick a good one up for about fifty pounds. No more mops and buckets, it cleans windows, tiles, sinks, the loo, and just about everything else. You will also save a fortune on cleaning products because all it uses is water.

I hope the discussion of this last mundane topic has restored my credibility. Oh by the way I also believe in ghosts!

IT'S WAR

Remember I told you I had written to my local council about the church yard,well, today I received a very derisory reply, and a warning that if I published their feeble response I could be prosecuted. The contents of the e-mail did not contain any secret information, it just said that, “in the event of the subject of my e-mail being out of their jurisdiction I would not get a reply.” I am still trying to work out what that means. In order to avoid confusing these simple minded souls any further I intend to send copies to every department, surely then I will discover just who deals with cemeteries. As yet I have not heard from my local councillor, perhaps he to is having trouble tracking down the person responsible.

The latest casualty in the garden has been the young kale and cabbage plants, they are being marmalized by young wood pigeons this afternoon I erected yet more nets and wires in an attempt to prevent further damage.....faint hope! I do have a great recipe for pigeon pie though so all may not be lost. As long as I don't want to serve them with kale or cabbage.

I am beginning to detest gooseberries, it always happens at about this time of year. Today I picked four pounds of the..***** things and got scratched to pieces, I look as if I have been wresting a cougar! Later in the day I topped and tailed the little blighters, I have to tell you that all those gooseberries and a pair of embroidery scissors amount to a do it yourself nervous breakdown kit! They are now in the freezer and will shortly help to set the strawberry jam.

The salad plants are doing extremely well this year, the oriental mustards' just on ready and they look so pretty in the salad bowl.

I am so very glad that I let myself be talked into getting a computer. Now I no longer have to sit shouting at the stupid remarks of shifty politicians on television, I can fire broadsides at them from the comfort of my snug little bed. No one is safe...be warned! With one of these machines a little old lady has as much clout as a prize fighter, it's lovely.

Rocket, Rocket, Rocket!

Today has been very busy indeed,blueberry muffins for breakfast, it's such an easy recipe, if anyone wants it let me know. My son had a dental appointment and I think I was more nervous than he was, so in order to take my mind off things I decided to strim out the paths in the vegetable garden.

Strimming is hard work but very satisfying as it makes everything look so neat and fresh. I must admit I think it's getting a bit much for me as old age and decrepitude take hold. Earlier in the spring I planted three long rows of three different types of rocket, last year's crop was not very plentiful so I sowed lots. I must admit that this year we seem to have an embarrassment of the stuff, it's just as well that we love it! I like it best on a crayfish sandwich, especially if the bread is wholemeal. Still I doubt if we shall eat it all so I shall have to start harassing the neighbours to take some.

My son returned from the dentist triumphant and with a mouth full of hardware, but at least all went well. I made roast vegetable and tomato soup for him in case he needed something soft.

ROAST VEGETABLE SOUP

2 RED PEPPERS
2 CARROTS
1 LARGE PARSNIP
TWO
ONOINS
4 CLOVES OF GARLIC
HALF A SMALL SQUASH OR SMALL PUMPKIN ( I just used our last from last years crop, you can use courgettes when in season)
3 TINS OF TOMATO
24 FLUID ONCES OF WATER
ONE TUBE TOMATO PURREE

Peel and chop the vegetables and place in a roasting tin with the garlic, roast in the oven at 200c for about 30 minutes or until the veg begins to blacken a little.

Blend in batches with tomato puree tinned tomato and stock. Season to your own taste reheat and serve.

You can make less of this, but I find that it freezes very well in portions and can easily be made into a pasta sauce by adding some Italian seasoning.

Hearing that the government are asking our opinion about where the threatened cuts should come, I fired off a rather sarcastic rocket of my own in the form of an email asking the council how come they have the money to mow a graveyard where no one has been buried since eighteen hundred and frozen stiff when they are proposing cuts in the care of the elderly. I pointed out that I was very sure that the occupants of the graveyard ould be unlikely to complain and since the dead cannot vote he need have no fear of reprisals....other than being haunted by an obsessively tidy ghost!

We have a large number of fire works left over from last November the fifth. I had planned to have a party and use them at midsummer solstice,this afternoon I realised that now the garden is full of stuff there is no where to let them off. As I said before old age and decrepitude is defiantly setting in! Hey ho!

ON-LINE SHOP TILL YOU DROP!

Today I did an on line grocery order for the first time, what a performance! I could have go to the supermarket, filled two trolleys and waited at the checkout for half an hour and still had time for a coffee. Yes, I know it was my first attempt but I do think the Tesco web site is rather odd. For a start they deny all knowledge of products that you know they stock, just order fruit jelly and you will see what I mean .You find the same lack of logic in the categorising of products as you do in the store. When I tried to order cake decorations all I got was decorated cakes, and a load of rubbish they were, never mind I shall just have to make my own chocolate drops. No doubt when I get used to it I shall sing its praises.........I expect.

The strawberry season has just begun, yesterday the first bowl full made dessert for my son, he loves strawberries, so about a fifth of the garden and a couple of tubs are planted with them. Last year I made over sixty jars of strawberry jam and we ate them until we got sick. I gave so many away that the neighbours pretended to be out when they saw me coming. All hands to the preserving pans, oh that reminds me, I had better order extra sugar this week.

A bit of rain is good for the garden and it is even better for the gardener,as she can have a lazy day and not have to worry about dry containers or dying seedling. Of course the slugs will be back with a vengeance but, hey ho, there is a snake in every Eden.

I had a last look around the garden this evening after the rain had stopped and suddenly all was well with me, the silkiness of a rose petal or the feel of warm earth in your hands beats the hell out of a computer keyboard any day.

THE GARDENERS PRAYER

From slugs,snails and badgers,
And long hungry caterpillars,
And things that go munch in the night,
Good Lord deliver us!

THERE ARE BAD TIMES JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Having listened to our new Prime Minister's dark and direful warning of the horrors to come it comes as no surprise to discover that the Samaritans are now obliged, when conversing with a client to admit that suicide could be an option. After listening to Cameron this morning I think it may be a distinct possibility. Until of course you realise that he actually said very little to the point. Of course there was the usual rhetoric, then can the priceless line “We are all in it together.”

Speaking personally I do not recall having anything whatsoever to do with ordering the the cart we all find our selves in. Do you remember spending all the millions that seem to have vanished without trace, did I blink and miss some vital detail? Perhaps I have this wrong, didn't the banks speculate in dodgy markets with money that should have been invested safely. Didn't they deliberately lend money to people with no hope of repaying the loans,for the sake of their personal gain? Didn't the bank executives cover up these mistakes at the highest level. I am very sure that the then government bailed out these institutions with money they did not have, and I am equally sure that no one asked me if I minded. The banks that were nationalised by the Labour government have declared large profit s and paid out bonuses and dividends, hang on a minute, if I paid for the banks to be saved the I must be a shareholder? What's going on?
One thing is certain Brown and Cameron have one thing in common,the determination to make us poor saps pay for the questionable financial practices of a very small section of the community.

Now we know where the buck really stops,it stops with us!

HOT AND VERY BOTHERED

I love warm weather,generally speaking,but not when I have lots of hot and bothersome chores to do . All week I have been hot and could' nt be bothered , and today the birds came home to roost,all the chores had to be done at once.
Bed making, never my favourite job at the best of times, today it was a nightmare, half way through I stopped for a cup of tea,I think a gin and tonic would have done more good but the last of the gin has damsons soaking in it for use as a cough cure in winter. After that there was the pleasure of an enormous pile of ironing, the job I detest most in all the world,I would rather clean out a septic tank, I kid you not. Just in case you were wondering I have actually cleaned a septic tank so I speak with conviction,its a nice wholesome task compared to the hated ironing. In a state of collapse I decided to go for a buggy ride.When I got to the river I saw four geese with a total of nineteen goslings between them, ten minutes later a kestrel took a newly fledged blackbird just s few feet away,she stayed on the ground for a full three minutes being mobbed by two jays and the adult male blackbird,guess who forgot to take the camera , so you will have to take my word for it my darlings!
On my arrival home I discovered that I had stayed out longer than I intended,and was obliged to cook dinner against the clock,what fun. It turned out rather well much to my surprise,although a lot less complex than usual. Definatly not my finest hour. Some days you just can't win.

Then I went into the garden and, behold,the badger had stayed this flipping great paws, the garden was immaculate, no great holes, no wilting lettuces.The flower garden basked in the cooler evening sun and looked heavenly,and my son had remembered to upload some favourite tracks on to my M.P.3 player,life is great after all,and there's always tomorrow,if the Gods allow.And so, in the words of Pepys, to bed.

The Ghosts of the Old Royal Mint

Every one has heard about the many spectres inhabiting the Tower of London,few however realise the the nearby Old Royal Mint has an equally impressive array of ghosts. These dedicated spooks appear nightly and perform with great diligence until, at daylight, they quietly disperse. It is said that a few of them also haunt a nearby tavern on occasion,in their search for the oblivion of sleep They perform their nightly activities without the accustomed rattling of chains and only the occasional moan.,and always go above and beyond the call of duty. Never in the field of human endeavour has so much been written by so few at such short notice. I salute them and in there honour have renamed my favourite cookie recipe.


Night shift nuggets.

Makes 14
75g/3oz porridge oats
50g/2oz plain flour
50g/2oz butter
50g/2ozgranulated sugar
1 level tablespoon golden syrup
half teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1.Mix together porridge oats and flour
2.Melt butter in a large pan with syrup and sugar
3.Stir in bicarbonate of soda into mixture in pan
4.Add flour and oats and mix well
5.make walnut; sized balls of mixture and place well apart on a well greased baking sheet.It helps to wet your fingers a little as the mixture can be a bit clarty.
6.Bake them in a moderate oven, gas 4, 350f, 180c. For 11 to 15 minutes,check after 11 they should be golden brown and still soft.
7.Let cookies cool slightly the move them on to a wire cooling rack.
8.You can replace part af the oats with coconut if you like...............

I have been very lazy today;baked a few cookies,and surrounded the vegetables with wire mesh to keep the badgers out. It looks more like a stalag than a garden!

SALAD DAZE

Phew! What a scorcher. I got the bread made early this morning to get it over with before things hotted up. I spent some time cleaning up the bird feeding areas, rats can be a problem if you are not careful .It has been an amazing day for birds, the young robins have fledged all four of them,the parents are at full stretch just keeping the out of trouble. The male robin and I are old friends, I knew him when he was young and spotty! The pair of woodpeckers are at the feeding station constantly, I imagine their young will be fledging very soon. We always know when the nuthatch chicks have hatched as the parent birds suddenly stop being shy and will even take food from the window sill. Magpies are always around where there are young birds , this year we have more than usual Jays also are frequent visitors these days. There are starlings, dunnock ,.blue tit, coal tit, great tit, wrens, blackbirds, black cap, wood pigeon, gold crest , all nesting around the house and feeding regularly,its wonderful. A am able to wash the dishes or peel the spuds while this flurry of life goes on right in front of me .I am so lucky.

I decided on a very simple meal for this evening as it is so hot. I just served a whole roast chicken with lots of garlic cloves, a huge salad fresh from the garden and of course some of the bread I made this morning,jelly with fruit and cream for afters.

It's cookie baking day tomorrow, I have not yet decided what sort to make,perhaps I will try something new for a change.

Well off I go to water the flower garden, it looks as floppy as I feel.

DEREK BIRD RANDOM NUTTER OR VICTIM

Yet again we watch with horror at the mayhem that one man with a grudge and a gun can cause. Yesterday we heard what a quiet man Derek Bird had been, today all that has changed and although it seems that he had in his own mind reason for his actions it does nothing to dispel the horror of it all. The truth is that any one of us at any time could be the victim or under extreme pressure the perpetrator of this type of of dreadful crime.

There can never be a good reason for taking a life, that's easy to say when in a rational frame of mind, people like Derek Bird and Michael Ryan were not rational when they killed. Nothing any one can do or say can explain an event such as this and nothing any one can do will stop such a thing happening again. The shock and pain will live in the minds of those involved for ever,for the rest of us, we shall forget, until the next time, perhaps that is after all, the real problem. I saw a man shot in the head some years ago, it has stayed with me ever since,but over time the picture fades little by little, until something like this happens .My heart goes out to the victims, their families, and the people who just got caught up in this awful business. I hope that time will soften the sharpness of their pain, though I doubt it.

Soup from Scratch

What a lovely sunny day. I had every intention of spending it planting out the remaining vegetable plants and sowing some more salad,but it was not to be. I often suffer from muscle spasms and today was one of those days,it never seems to happen on a wet day so that I would not feel frustrated by not being able to get into the garden .Hey ho,so I decided that as it was bread day again I should make a vegetable soup, hoping that with soft new bread and a strawberry jelly it would prove to be acceptable for my son in his present predicament. Thankfully all went well.

VEGETABLE SOUP

1 red pepper
1 carrot
1 parsnip
2 stalks of celery
1 potato
6 spring onions
2 tablespoons walnut oil
1 oz butter
milk

Chop all the veg and fry the onion and pepper in the oil and melted butter for 5 minutes.
Add the rest of the veg and fry for a further 4 minutes stirring occasionally.
Add enough water to cover the veg and simmer for 30 minutes with the lid on.
Cool a little then pass through a sieve or put in a blender until smooth.
Add milk to make the thickness you prefer,season, reheat and serve with fresh bread or croutons. You can make this soup with any combination of vegetables and its always lovely.

The Rosemary and Tarragon are perfect at the moment so I made some herb oils. I just pick the herbs while they are dry pop them in a jar and top the up with oil; after a few days the oil takes on the flavour of the herb,they are good with salads and pasta dishes.

My cat has discovered the catnip plant which I put in the garden last week. She was rolling about all over it with a look of pure pleasure about her. I doubt if the plant will withstand many such onslaughts. Again I say, hey ho !

STUCK UP AND SOAKING WET

Well the weather forecast was correct for once, it rained all day and it was very muggy into the bargain. I was awakened at the crack of dawn by my darling son ,who had just arrived home from work Besides the usual welcome cup of tea which he always makes for me he exhibited a small piece of tooth which had detached itself during the night..There was also a corresponding hole where the fragment had been .I was still very sleepy, not having had the usual,more gentle awakening however as soon as I could manage to prop one eye open I displayed as much parental concern as was humanly possible, and promised to make an appointment for him with the dentist ASAP. This proved rather tricky as we could not remember the name of his dentist. The print in the yellow pages was so small that it defeated me utterly. Then I remembered the internet and about an hour after my son had retired to his repose I found their name and number and made the promised appointment breakfast was rather late, I shall say no more.

I was glad that I picked the gooseberries yesterday as I was able to make the jam without getting wet,my triumph however was short lived. After making the jam and during a lull in the awful weather I decided to go for a breath of fresh air, the kitchen had become rather steamy and I and my clothes dreadfully sticky so I changed my clothes and off I went. No sooner had I reached the river the the rain began again in earnest,so I managed ten minutes out side and gained nothing but a load of wet washing,a plentiful enough commodity at the best of times.

This has not been the best of days,but there is always tomorrow. My cat Twiggy and I spent time watching young starlings leaning to feed themselves ,the exasperation of the parent birds was tangible. They have my sympathy.