Avie in Wonderland.

Samuel Johnson,of dictionary fame classified a lexicographer as “a harmless drudge.” I would beg to differ, surely that definition more accurately describes the poor housewife, although my “Old Man” would certainly question the harmless bit!

I shall not bore you with the awful details, suffice it to say that today I disturbed the dust in places that have not seen the hand of man for eons. This is in spite of reassurances from certain parties that a regular cleaning had been done. We each have a room for which we are responsible, mine is of course pristine at all times......

However on entering a certain dark and mysterious cave-like bed chamber I was intrigued to find the initials A.S. Carved above the lintel. Further exploration revealed that beneath the debris of ages there was a carpet and a rug! At this point I was on the brink of calling the British Museum having the conviction that the layers should be excavated by an expert for fear of losing valuable information, such as occurred during the early excavation of Troy.

Pressed for time however I was obliged to proceed alone. How many times I have seen the heroine in a horror film do exactly that and said “stupid baggage”. Still I pressed on. As my eyes became accustomed to to gloom strange shapes began to appear, I felt like Lucy when she entered the wardrobe.

Snakes! Oh my God! No, electrical cables ,miles of them, a booby trap perhaps as in Raiders of the Lost Ark, or even The Goonies. No just boring old computer, TV, Xbox, DVD player, lamp, fan, etc. Feeling very intrepid I pressed on.”Oh help”, two staring eyes. I screamed and ran....followed by the blessed cat.

Armed with a flash light and plenty of twine I made a second attempt,this time reassured by the trail I was leaving an the absence of that pestiferous moggy! With a shout of triumph located a window and flung it wide. As daylight flooded the scene I felt as Howard Carter must have done when he first beheld the interior of Tutankhamen's tomb. It is with such sensational imaginings that the afore mentioned drudge amuses herself whilst getting the house work done. And I you think that's bad wait till I tell you what I found in my son's room!