NE'ER CAST A CLOUT,TILL MAY IS OUT

Well here we are folks at the end of what has proved to be the wettest and the coldest May since 1963...I remember it well. Just between ourselves I do not feel the least inclined to run about on the first on June in gay abandon casting “clouts” in all directions!

Today, in spite of the sunshine the wind was chilly and out of the sun it felt uncomfortably cold. My poor courgette plants are still minute which suggests that they too are finding the garden on the chilly side.

We are still sleeping under our winter fur throws and fleeces and I have been obliged to close the windows at night due to the perishing cold wind which does not seem to have stopped blowing since last October. I doubt very much it turning the page of our calender will do much to alleviate the situation.

When ever the sun has shone,even weakly during the past month we have watched a parade of ladies in thin floaty frocks and men in dreadful Bermuda shorts pass the house,their arms and legs various shades of blue and covered with unflattering goose bumps. We are, let's face it all desperate for Summer.

Some weeks ago I received a catalogue containing, “The latest Autumn fashions” Give me a break I haven’t put last years Autumn fashions away yet!

PORK CASSOLETTE IN A HURRY

I have been feeling rather less than my best this week and all the baking and cooking can be up hill work. Now it is entirely my own fault that the boys will not eat anything pre cooked so microwave meals are out. Not for them the ready to bake cottage pie ,even the more up market ones will not do.

Having rummaged about in the cupboards and the freezer I came up with a hasty pork cassolette quick and tasty and above all freshly cooked.

1lb diced pork rolled in seasoned flour

1 can red kidney beans

1 can butter beans

1 onion peeled and sliced

4 carrots peeled and roughly chopped

1 red apple chopped

2 chicken stock cubes

1 dessert spoon of coriander powder

1 teaspoon of ground cumin

1 teaspoon of chopped rosemary

1 dessert spoon of paprika

salt and pepper to taste

Place the pork in to the bottom of a shallow casserole dish, add the carrots then the onions .

Next pour on first the butter beans and then the red kidney beans.

Lastly scatter the chopped apple on the top.

Sprinkle;le on the spices and the crushed stock cubes, then pour on sufficient water to cover. Put on the lid or make one from foil and bake at 185oC for 90 minutes.

Check the seasoning and add the salt and pepper if needed.

Serve with crusty bread or if you are feeling energetic top with a dozen cheese scones and bake in a hot oven for a further twelve minutes to make a cobbler.

This went down a storm with the boys and they even offered to wash up afterwards............smelling salts please! Only joking.

YOU TUBE BULLIES

I am still new to the computer stuff and you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks,well, at last I am beginning to get to grips with videos,editing and You Tube. I love You Tube, I can wander about for hours listening to favourite music,I can watch old movies,ancient T.V programmes from my childhood,it's wonderful.

There are people who love cats as much as I do and what I really love is the amount of raw talent and boundless creativity. For me it has been like finding a treasure house, but recently I discovered that there is a more unpleasant,not to say sinister side to this pleasant occupation.

I have come across sites which appear to have been targeted by what I can only describe as foul mouthed bullying thugs. These mindless morons leave appallingly filthy comments, often just a stream of the worst kind of language on sites such as videos of children or by children, sites containing music, often original works but also on popular sites. This leads to sites being closed, often people comment that they will no longer visit the site due to the abusive remarks.

Now I would be the first to admit that at times my own language can be a trifle ripe,as I suppose we all can,but the internet,particularly such sites as children visit are not the place for this kind of abuse.

It is not as if those responsible are making a point,no, they are just reeling off a mindless list of F... and C... words with either no other content or to abuse the site and those who use it.

I became so angry at one of these morons who had totally wrecked a brilliant music site which the owner must have spent hours on that I set about the nasty little “oik” in no uncertain terms.

Of course he replied,and I gave him another dose,he dose not enjoy being made to seem foolish,childish and idiotic. I have always had a nice line in invective,the poor little devil does not stand a chance.

It is all too easy to let these nasty types spoil the hard work of better people than themselves,having no creativity of their own they must spoil the work of others and it is a shame to let them.

If you find one of these please either ignore him or her,or better still cut the perpetrator down to size in the same public place that he has attempted to spoil. These people have followers whom they are trying to impress, a fast,neat put down is the best way of deterring them.

Today one of these pests accused me of trawling the net looking for weak people to be nasty to,coming form him that's rich.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

A fine mist of drizzle did its best to obscure the view from my bedroom window when I awoke this morning. During the night the sound of rain pattering upon the leaves of an Ash tree had lulled me as I drifted in and out of sleep, gentle rain on leaves is a lovely sound,soporific,soothing.

By the time I had dressed and tidied my room the rain was hammering down,lashing the trees and flattening the tall garden plants, not quite so attractive! It was apparent that there would be no gardening for me today...my son was already up and busy in the kitchen,the wonderful smell of hot buttered toast wafted up the stairs, my breakfast awaited my. Much cheered I took the stair lift (wonderful invention) and took my set at the table.

After yesterdays little contretemps the boys were on there best behaviour,especially Pa was manner can at time be a little unfortunate and who's choice of words often leaves much to be desired. One might suppose that after forty one years I would have grown accustomed to Pa's,lack of tack and yet if I am tired it can still catch a raw spot and provoke my temper;which it must be said can be frightful!

My son went to his room to write as soon as breakfast was finished and I decided to make a large batch of Staffordshire oatcakes, these reheated and covered with melted cheese would make a couple of breakfasts and served with bacon, eggs,tomatoes and mushrooms would serve as a fast evening meal later in the week.

These oat cakes are a type of pancake and are equally good if spread with honey. They are unfortunately becoming a rare delicacy even in the Potteries ,their place of origin,the last true “hole in the wall” oatcake shop having recently closed. They can,of course be purchased in supermarkets in North Staffordshire but these are factory produced and bear about as much resemblance to the real thing as a sliced white loaf does to a home made crusty one

All through the morning and well into the afternoon the rain fell heavily and then all at one it stopped,I grabbed my coat and keys and set out for a buggy ride. How thankful I was that I had taken my camera for the first thing I encountered was a beautiful horse drawn carriage parked in the lane opposite our cottage,now who would have expected that? Inside a beautiful Asian bride smiled happily at all who stopped to stare, she radiated a happiness which lit up the gloom .

I asked if I could take some pictures and she agreed, the horses were magnificent and the liveried driver and groom very impressive,but it will be the girl who will live longest in my memory for her beauty and her happy smile.

Mindful that it might begin to rain again I stayed close to home ,everywhere there was something to marvel at,a herd of cows grazing ,their legs hidden by buttercups. Tall cow parsley glowed in great swathes under the trees and in spite of the dim light the world seemed fresh and lovely.

Back at home and I returned to my cosy kitchen to finish the lasagne I had begun in the morning,served with garlic bread and a big salad it was just right for today.

Now the light is fading and I am sure that there will be more rain tonight. Moth ,one of our cats is asleep on my bed and Twiggy had chosen to roost on a radiator,we are all home and safe.

Home and safe sounds wonderful on a rainy night and I am thankful , with all my heart for this blessing.

LOVELY WHILE IT LASTED.

After tenderly enquiring as to my health,and having ascertained that I was feeling a little better the men of the house returned to their normal charmless selves.
What follows is the letting off of steam, in verse,which although it may be execrable is better than doing time for G.B.H,my only other alternative

Anyone who has not seen the film "Kiss Me Kate" will wonder what the hell I'm waffling on about.



I hate men! I can't abide them even now and then.

While they sit on their backside ,you can work until you,re weary

They'll sit and watch you do it ,then say “What's the matter deary.”

And then reward your industry by saying “You look leary!

Oh I hate men!

I hate men, They should be kept like piggies in a pen.

They fill the house with rubbish,known euphoniously as a Hobby.

You dare suggest they tidy up ,and they get mighty gobby.

Implying you're a house proud cow, who's fast becoming snobby.

Oh I hate men!

I hate men! Spoiled little boys, who never learn but then.

They've all been spoiled by mothers ,who are just as daft as I am.

Son,s husbands fathers all the same from Africa to Siam.

I think I'll get a sex change then they'll be the same as I am.

OH I HATE MEN!

NOTHING GOING ON !

Today,against all the odds I managed to have a quiet day at home, I can't believe it,the boys can't believe it,it really is a huge achievement for me.

To begin with this was the day of the Conservation Group fête, a strange biannual event which has in the past involved me in several weeks hard work ,you may recall that last April I had the fête at my house due to the torrential rain.

I have mentioned my reasons for disentangling myself from this event and those who organise it in an earlier blog,what amazes me is that I actually managed to stick to my resolve and steer clear of the event. My son would have been furious if I had caved in and to be honest I do see his point.

I wish them well and will support them is any other way,but my days of stumbling around a muddy allotment on crutches are over.

Hardly had the breakfast dishes been cleared than Pa and I received and invitation to tea at a neighbours house., a kind gesture which we both appreciated. Unfortunately Pa was not at all well today,during the first hour out of bed he managed to spill a mug of coffee over the carpet and drop a heavy metal ornament on to a plate ,to the detriment of both: so the idea of letting him lose on some ones best china tea set gave me the jim-iams.

During the past couple of days I have been in quite a lot of pain, and the prospect of any kind of company was anathema to me, just holding my head up is an effort at such times,and the pain relief which has,thankfully, given me a little respite makes me dizzy, I get quite high on the stuff. We declined politely with regret.

I spent the afternoon doing as my son had instructed, I went to bed,it was such a relief and I slept for several hours, while my son and his friends played board games in the kitchen and kept an eye on Pa.

This may not seem to be a very exciting way of spending a Bank Holiday but for me a few hours off duty are a rare and special treat. I must take my sons good advice more often.

I shall call on my kind neighbour tomorrow,and take him a cake.

THE RETURN OF THE STONE

Kidney stones are an infernal nuisance,they are also extremely painful. In these modern times it is not always necessary to have surgery to remove the little perishers,that,s the good news.

The bad news is that the incredibly painful treatment,which involves having your kidneys blasted by sound waves ,and which can take many visits to the torture chamber;while it blasts the little buggers to smithereens it leaves behind small chips of stone,many small chips!

These remain and if not passed another painful business they can grow larger and if they become too large to pass you are back to square one,which is were I now find myself.

In anticipation of a period just swallowing pills and groaning I made a huge cherry and almond cake for the boys,shelved any plans I had to spend the Bank Holiday and resigned my self to taking it easy for a few days.

If I am lucky the stone will pass,if I am not then a spell in hospital beckons as the kind of pain relief needed to combat this problem has to be administered in hospital. There is also the risk of infection,a particular problem with me and one which ,some years ago, almost killed me.

My apologies for the “cheerful tone” of this blog ,I am ,as you can imagine distinctly dis-chuffed.

On the plus side Pa is feeling better today and my son is spending the weekend in the company of his friends, which pleases my very much. In spite of his writing schedule he socialises much more no he no longer works nights for E Scrooge and Co!

I wish you one and all a wonderful weekend full of adventure and rest and relaxation,what ever your heart craves.

DANGEROUS PLACES

Like most people I was appalled at the death of the young soldier in Woolwich and the manner of his death makes it even more horrific. Television takes us to countries where this type of violence is

common place,young men roaming the streets with knives butchering innocent people ,Bosnia,

,Rwanda,Iraq,Afghanistan,but that this type of violence on the streets of Britain should be a wake up call to those in authority before thing get out of control.

Yes,we have knife crime and violence but this was something different,this was not gang violence ,this was a crime of racial hatred,there I've said it, and I can just hear the howls of indignation at my Racist remark.”

When two young Islamic Fundamentalists seek out and deliberately target a young British squaddie going about his daily business what else can such a crime be called.

We hear all the time that the majority of Muslims in the UK are not radicalised and deplore the violence,and I and certain that this is so, and yet I wonder,is it the crime they deplore,or the fact that there might be reprisals against them and their children. God forbid that this should happen,yet I listened to an interview with a young Muslim woman who told how she was now having to take her children to school and collect then later,this fact seemed to be her chief concern,not the act itself.

The initial response to this dreadful affair was to advise British serviceman to hide their uniform when outside the barracks ,although this advice was later withdrawn. Well if a British soldier cannot walk the streets in his own land without being attacked by extremists I think we have gone too fare down the road of P.C.

During WW2 we did not accept German immigrants in to the country,to do so would have been stupid,yet we have been at war with some of the Muslin countries for years while allowing huge numbers of them in to the county to live,work ,or draw benefits. Where is the sense it that?

These people hate us,and I must admit they often have good cause to do so,nevertheless it is ridiculous to present our enemies with citizenship so that they can erode the fabric of British Muslim society from the inside. I have many Muslin friends who feel as I do about this point for a variety of reasons.

While watching Question Time last night I heard Mr Ian Paisley Jnr. remark in all seriousness that Christianity could not become radicalised in the same way,coming form him that's rich. Northern Ireland has been a hotbed of radicalism for years Bigotry in and form and by any race is to be deplored.

Let us stop beating about the bush and confront the menace with jeopardises world peace,let us face it,give it a name and deal with it once and for all.

Many mistakes have been made by all concerned but the truth is that Muslims have been attempting to rule the world in the name of Allah for over a thousand years, Christians too have been attempting for two millennia to subjugate other faiths in favour of the worship of Christ.

I am convinced that it is time to admit that this war is never going to end and take measures to limit the damage it has caused, it is only by having all parties be honest about the true nature of the problem that anything can be achieved.

War zones are dangerous places as the casualty figures show, now our streets are becoming a battle field and no one is safe. If this is what Christ or Allah want then to blazes with the pair of them.

HILLS AND VALLEYS

It's been quite a day. I spent most of the day preparing a dinner for my son and some of his friends ,nothing too complex,a couple of large home made pizzas with dips and jacket wedges to start. The dessert a massive Pavlova smothered in cream and fruit.

The day seems preternaturally short and I ended the preparation in a hurry,only to have to slow things down for a late arrival.

I decided to check my mail box and the news was of the worst kind. I friend had contacted me to let me know of the death of his mother. I am sure that we can all imagine his feelings at the moment,I wish with all my heart that there was something I could do,but I know from bitter experience that each of us grieves in his own way even when surrounded by family and friends.

The empty place seems huge and the ache unbearable. In time the pain does ease but the void remains for ever,like and empty room no longer used,shut off from the rest of the house.

Life is like a mansion full of rooms and as we live our lives we fill them with our family friends and lovers. As we age the rooms are shut up one by one as we lose those dear to us until we are left in a house filled with nothing but memories,each room shut up with its past joys and woes.

All this sounds very morbid and I am sorry for it,it'd just that I know no other way to describe the loss of a parent,a child or a lover.

We should fill our days with laughter and love while we can,then the memories that echo around us will be happy ones.

In spite of my bad news the party went well,the food was well received and there was plenty of laughter around the table.It is always a treat to entertain my sons friends and tonight was no exception. it is also good to see my son happy and relaxed again.

Today has had it's hills and valleys,a bit like life I suppose. Goodnight to all.

THE PEASANTS ARE REVOLTING

Well folks it looks as if I am set to have the next batch of work done on the house in the not too far distant future. My request did not go down too well with the estate manager but in all conscience he has only himself to blame for the deplorable state of many of the properties in his care.

I am not the only tenant to have sent in a request for outstanding repairs ,a neighbour of ours has submitted a long list of outstanding work in order of priority beginning with the roof and ending in the basement. This lady pays over £40,000 per annum to rent a Grade 1 listed building with holes in the roof,rising damp,rotten plaster ,rotten timber and fuzzy blue mould flourishing in every room.

Of course she could move but she has lived in the property for years and it has become home to her,she is elderly and does not wish to move.

Operating on the theory that he who shouts the loudest gets the job done we formed a tenants choir and have been singing loudly from the same hymn sheet for some time.

Of course our landlord considers us to be very disobliging and looks upon the affair as a sort of latter day peasants revolt.

Now it must be faced that this year he did drop ever so slightly on the annual rich list and I am not unsympathetic to his plight,the fact remains that his cavalier attitude to his tenants is deplorable and so long as this remains the case he will continue to find it impossible to find a forelock tugging yokel in these parts! Amen!

LITTLE OLD LADY POWER!

You may recall my mentioning a couple of weeks ago an incident in the graveyard,between myself and a number of recidivist contractors who were ,once again hacking the undergrowth about at a time when such work is restricted. This was taking place in spite of the fact that the site had been designated a conservation area.

Today I received a response to my protest , I shall not go in to details but suffice it to say that they had capitulated on every point and in future no work will be carried out at sensitive times and all work will be done in the presence of the Head Ecologist. This is victory indeed and it proves beyond doubt that our arguments were correct in every detail ,it also shows what one person can achieve if they have the courage to stand their ground.

I an certain that they had no wish to see published the unedifying film footage of several burly labourers and their bosses bullying a little old lady on a mobility scooter.

My advice to anyone who needs to stop such destructive work from being carried out is to find a frail elderly person,preferably in a wheel chair and ,with their consent of c

ourse park them in a spot inconvenient to the contractors. Oh yes, and be sure to film the whole thing.

My land lord,in the person of his Estate Manager is in a snit because I have asked for a few vital repairs to be carried out. Apparently as we have recently had our drains unblocked,twice, had a dangerous cooker hood replaced and the removal of about a ton of sewage fouled gravel removed from the back yard ;he feels that I am being too demanding.

I have pointed out to the gentleman that it does not behove one of the richest men in England to keep his tenants in Dickensian accommodation and that the Estate is oblige to deal with these matters under the law.

I am sure he must have been exasperated to receive my requests this morning and fired off a shirty e mail in consequence. I am equally certain that being now in receipt of my reply he will be regretting his hasty remarks.

MAYHEM AT THE CAFE AVIE

The problem began last Friday evening about half an hour after the,painters,joiners,gas fitters,plumbers etc. who had kept the Café Avie busy all last week had knocked off for the weekend.

A nasty smell and a small puddle in the yard became very quickly a foul stench and a small lake which waxed and waned according to the flushing of loo's and the running of baths and sinks.

The drains in these cottages are ancient, the Terra Cotta pipes are long since breached by the groping fingers of tree roots and as a consequence they block several time a year,this is the second time in two weeks.

The estate Managers,in a bid to save money decided that they would no longer have a duty manager to deal with problems arising during the weekend so this sort of thing happens all the time and causes no end of trouble. Spending three days in the midst of a smelly lake is no joke I can tell you.

I transpired that I had not been the only one with a waste water problem, a neighbours bosky garden was transformed into a mosquito haunted and foetid swamp,while another was obliged to cancel a weekend barbecue due to the inundation of his patio. All had left shirty answer phone messages and emails over the weekend.

Early this morning a man arrived with a set of drain rods,he knew the problem well enough to know that he was wasting his time but unfortunate for all of us his boss is a penny pinching numpty . He there fore followed the crackpot orders he had been given ,lost several of his rods,and was obliged to retire worsted from the scene,namely to my kitchen where breakfast was being served.

A plumber was called and in his own time(as is the way with plumbers) he arrived in time for a coffee and by the end of two hours a lot of water and an appalling reek of sewerage the effluent tide retreated, the man hole was covered and lunch was served.

By this time I had done three breakfast sittings and two lunches. Barely had I cleared lunch when the first callers for afternoon tea arrived and the short bread scones which I had managed to make in a ten minute lull began to vanish much too quickly for comfort.

The out house doors received their second coat of shiny black paint,and very smart the look. The cooker hood extractor fan was finished by the addition of a small piece of beading to fill the whole left by the fitter who had made to large a hole to begin with.

I washed up the ;last of the tea things at five thirty and began at once to prepare the cottage pie for dinner.

During the course of the day I had left the kitchen for less than an hour , including pee breaks!! My son informed me that I was the victim of ,my own hospitality and I suppose that might be argued.

I still feel that it is nicer if the workmen are happy while they work than otherwise,even if it does mean that I spend almost all day washing dishes.

With more work scheduled I think I may run an ad in the local rag: Wanted,good humoured hard working Pot Washer to assist in busy café environment. To begin work immediately......sooner if possible! PLEASE!

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

Knowing how traumatised I am by what happened last night my son,who it must be said feels himself responsible,offered to write my excuses tonight. I am perfectly convinced that no amount of counselling or therapy will help and feel that ,perhaps if I share the awfulness it might exorcise the dreadful memory of yet another Euro vision from my distracted brain;the hope is a faint one.

One by one the acts, dragged on each exceeding the tackiness of the preceding contestant. The number of Pan stick covered spotty countenances was exceeded only by the amount of collagen filler on full and horrific display.

This I could live with...just...it was the quality...no the lack of quality which I cannot forgive.

In my humble opinion Europe most certainly does not have talent!

It was as usual a sickening succession of appalling music and inane lyrics sung by a bunch of manic munchkins with the occasional worn out rock star thrown in.

I do not mean to be unkind about Bonnie Tyler,In her time she was the queen of the power Ballad....but thirty years on the gravel rash voice that could out bellow Meatloaf sounded,frankly, ghastly. I have always been a fan of the lady .but for God's sake each to his own,it was like listening to John Wayne reading The House at Pooh Corner,or Bruce Willis reciting “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Dracula! What the hell was all that about? The Catalonian bagpipes were a bit rum too if you ask me!

Towards the end I was drifting in and out of consciousness and actually managed to miss a couple of acts. Pa joined us for the judging,We thought that this year we had a serious chance of winning,because of course no country wanted the expense of hosting the next Euro vision so that out of hatred for the British other countries would vote for us to make sure we got it.

It seems that they dislike us too much even for that .

I slept badly last night ,visited by nightmares and according to my son I cried out in my sleep many times.....presumably for mercy.....I received non.

On a serious note,it should be said that since The Euro vision Song Contest was originally meant to heal the breaches in European relations caused by WW2 it must be faced that the experiment appears to have been a total failure. The factions are still there. The resentment is still there,Euro vision is a means of allowing Europe to air its distrust and dislike of the British. I think that we should stop behaving like a bloody Aunt Sally and give them something to think about.

Might I suggest that perhaps some other nation ought to take a turn at picking up the lions share of the tab for this annual farce. Oh and one more thing,perhaps we can persuade Terry Wogan to come out of retirement to sing “The Floral Dance” as our entry next year,and if that doesn't work can we please give up?

EUROVISION

I am booked to watch Eurovision tonight (annual farce) in the company of my son,who loves it! Well nobodies perfect. By the time this dreary yawn fest is over I shall be in no fit state to write anything but my last will and testament.

Therefore pray for me and with luck I shall survive to blog tomorrow.

ARTISANS AT WORK

I have ,this week had the very great privilege of watching two artisan craftsmen at work replacing and painting the doors to my out door store houses. The word artisan is bandied about a good deal these days and is used rather loosely,these men were true artisans and their work speaks for them.

Three doors were hand made and fitted by a joiner friend,a quiet man who would blush if he knew of the fulsome praise I heap upon him here. They fit perfectly,as do the new lintels and the door furniture has been positioned with as much care as if the doors were made for the Queens bedroom rather than an ordinary out house.

The decorator primed the doors,under coated with care and today put on the first of three coats of paint,already they look wonderful,by the time they are finished they will be the best set f doors for miles .

In these times ,a couple of days on a course can qualify a person in just about anything. A chap I know did a two week course on tree surgery,got the certificate, bought himself a chain saw and set up on business. My brother,who is a tree surgeon had been an apprentice for three years before they let him do anything more than clean and sharpen the chainsaws,they can be lethal.

He was not allowed to climb until he understood all the safety rules and was completely familiar with the equipment. He had to save to buy his own harness,ropes,carabeenas etc. and learn how the maintain them .By these means he learned to respect his equipment and understand the dangers involved in his work.

He set up his own business thirty years ago and he is now known as the best in his part of the world.

He is used by the Emergency services and the telephone and electricity company in his area.

The chap with the two week diploma felled a tree and killed a man in the process,he had been in business for a month and carried no insurance.

Of course he can cheap, precisely because he did not have to pay the premiums on several million pounds worth of insurance cover. Cowboys are always cheap.

The friends who have done the work for me this week have a lifetimes experience in their chosen work and are both great proficient s,and yet,many employers would prefer to hire the young man with the two week diploma, because he come cheaper than the skilled man.

That is why these crafts men are becoming increasingly rare.

I will conclude with a little verse, not my own unfortunately.

His Lordship,While fixing the electric light,

Blew himself up,and serve him right.

For it is the duty of the wealthy man,

To give employment to the artisan.

GILDED CHOCOLATE BIRTHDAY CAKE

Tomorrow my son will be thirty one years old. An occasion which demands the baking of a special cake,during the last few weeks I have made quite a few and so I racked my brains for something a little different.

Now it has to be faced,my son adores chocolate cake and to present him with anything other than chocolate cake on his birthday would be tantamount to child abuse! Chocolate cake it must be.

Using a chocolate brownie recipe I made two round cakes and while they were cooling I made a soft cooked fudge icing.

3 oz butter

12oz icing sugar

2 tablespoons of cocoa powder

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

2 tablespoons of single cream.

Gently heat the butter then add half of the icing sugar and the vanilla essence,beat until smooth.

Add the rest of the icing sugar and the single cream and beat again until a soft spreadable icing is formed.

When the cakes were cool sandwiched them together with some of the soft fudge icing,placed on the second tier and covered it with the remainder of the icing,letting it run down the sides. Using a palette knife I smoothed the icing around the sides of the cake making sure that it was covered. The top of the cake took care of itself.

While the icing was still wet I sprinkled the top of the cake generously with chocolate shards then I gilded the entire cake by gently blowing edible gold all over the cake,top and sides.

Tomorrow the cake will be served with vanilla iced cream and hot chocolate syrup.

I also managed to add another eight jars of jam to the family store cupboard for use in winter so its been a busy day.

Now I you will excuse me ,I have a parcel or two to wrap. [p'Thirty one years old......where did my baby go?

BEAUTIFUL SOUP

The new book my son brought for me is proving both interesting and problematic,it took ages to decide which of the exciting recipes to make for dinner,eventually I compromised by combining two of them

Spiced parsnip soup with Foul Medames

2 oz butter

2 lb parsnips

1 onion

2pts chicken stock

quarter pint of double cream

1 teaspoon ground coriander seed

2 teaspoons ground cumin seed

salt

pepper

Chives

I tin foul medames fava beans

Peel the parsnips and slice thinly ,chop the onion. Fry the parsnip and the onion in the butter together with the cumin and the coriander for about ten minutes. Add the stock and blend well,bring to the boil and simmer for around twenty minutes or until the vegetables are tender.

While the vegetables are cooking empty the tin of fava beans in to a saucepan with a dessert spoon of olive oil ,bring to the boil and simmer.

Wash and chop the chives.

When the vegetables are cooked empty them in to a blender and blitz until smooth, you might have to do several batches.

Return to the pan add her cream and reheat without boiling,season with salt and pepper.

To serve ladle into soup bowls add a tablespoon and the Foul mesdames the sprinkle with the chopped chives.

Serve with crusty bread.

INTERNET TROLLS

Last night while listening with enjoyment some music on line I scrolled through the comments and discovered some truly nasty little ticks had written a barrage of mindless filth,seemingly for no reason what so ever. I have come across this sort of thing before and although I assure you I can f and blind with the best of them when the occasion demands, I find the mindless use of this kind of language irritating.

Some of this stuff is a kind of bullying ,which I detest and so I wage war upon the cretinous creatures,and I have to report that they do not like a return of their own poison!

My method of dealing with these maggots is to pour ridicule and scorn upon the perpetrator so that he directs his venom at me. Then with the help of a few friends shoot them down in flames, verbally of course,until they are glad to retire from the field.

It seems a shame that some sites have to be closed down because they are the victim of this type of internet bullying,don't let them get away with it...give 'em some back.

THE WORKING PARTY

If I have learned one important lesson in the years that I have worked to ensure that our environment is treated with respect it is this. There will always be many people to shout the odds,to insist that”Something must be done.” There are much fewer people prepared to soil their hands in battle to ensure that something is done.

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised when almost the full complement of Friends of Silverhall turned out for remove rubbish from the river and to plant spring flowers. They worked tirelessly and without complaint in some very messy areas,they gave up their Sunday to ensure that their local Park remained a beautiful and useful amenity for the community.

I said almost all, strangely the ones who had shouted the loudest in the beginning,wrung out their hankies and lamented about the Councils neglect of this pretty spot, were conspicuous by their absence . Not for them the mucky wellies or hands torn by bramble,not for them the aching back.

These “Weako Warriors”.....even maybe “Wacko Warriors” content themselves with weeping and wailing loud enough to attract attention then disappearing until more stalwart individuals deal with the problem, then they reappear and congratulate themselves upon a job well done

Some are addicted to committees and belong to so many that they do not have the time to actually do anything constructive! We like all groups have our share of these.

Yesterday my son raised an army,even he was surprised at the number of volunteers,they worked with care (not a power tool in sight) to improve the habitat for our precious wild life.

My son is immensely proud of them,and they should be proud of themselves . All around the country on weekends and evenings thousands of volunteers give of their time in the service of the community. They do it quietly and without fuss,they are heroes.

There is a saying which goes”Volunteers are unpaid,not because they are useless ,but because the are priceless.” I believe that saying to be true.

PICK UP YOUR RUBBISH!!!

It's been a really busy day today, so Avie asked me to contribute a post. I spent the day in one of my local parks on a litter-picking and plant removal exercise. This work badly needed doing; an area usually closed off to the general public was full of junk, some of it quite odd (a cow pelvis, bundle of unread bank statements, something strange that was oozing...) Now, I don't mind spending the day doing work like this...

...actually, I tell a lie, I do. Not because I resent having to work, not because I have any problem spending the day cleaning up a park, but because a lot of it was completely unnecessary if people were not so disgusting. For me, a public park, a green space, is something to be cherished and protected, but too many people seem to view it as their own personal dustbin. We took out two dozen bags from a not-that-large space, mostly cans and plastic bags of one sort or another – do people think that these will just evaporate or be picked up by the rubbish fairy at some point?

There is enough pressure on most of these places as it is without thoughtless people adding more. For heaven's sake, if you are walking out in a park, and you finish your drink, look around for a dustbin rather than simply dropping it on the ground. Have a consideration for the other people that use the park, that prefer to see a nice green area to enjoy, but more than that, have some thought for the animals that use the park, and for the plants that grow in it, for in a city the environments they can use are few and far between as it is.

Son of Avie

"THE SMALL RAIN DOWN DOTH RAIN"

My blog title is a line from a rather slushy,or rather heart rending(,depending upon your disposition) song from the fifteenth century.

It has been my experience that there is damn all romantic about “small rain”, it is the kind of rain that drenches you before you even realise you are damp. This dampness permeates the house through keyholes and cracks and it forms a dull grey curtain between you and anything distant you may be looking at.

I spent most of my morning baking shortbread for my son,s volunteers at tomorrows river clear up.

Rejoicing I changed into my tatty old gardening togs and lo! The moment I set foot across the threshhold the small rain began to rain,yet another reprieve for the dandelions!

Muttering curses I returned to the house ,changed my clothes again and got on with the blasted ironing,by which time the curses were rather louder!

Towards evening a strong wind got up and blew all the fleece covers of the seedlings......more curses...then the rain cam in torrents. Didn't Dan Chaucer say something about “ April with it's showers sweet ,I'd like to wring the old fools neck!.”  

TAKING STOCK

This morning I received a reply from the Secretary of the conservation group from which I recently resigned,it was curt,which did not surprise me in the least. It is a real relief to be free of the group at last for at times it has felt like dragging a cart with no wheels up a mountain track.

They are a good group of people but oh dear,I have seen more life in a Beechams pill! One couple only turn up for our annual fête to which they bring along such dodgy looking victuals that no one will buy them and then they insist upon being reimbursed for the cost of the ingredients!

Our Chairman,goes into hibernation during the winter months,does not answer his phone or emails which means all business must be suspended until the warm weather comes,this year it was rather late. His absence has cost us dear on more than one occasion,too many for me .

We have a mad tree hugger who has with her wayward letter writing done far more harm than good and apart from myself and my son there is one other member who more than pulls her weight and between the three of us most of the hard work gets done.

I shall still fight for our cause to the bitter end but I can no longer afford to waste my limited energy one the groups dubious activities.

The trouble with committee,s is that the eventually become more important to some of the members than the c\cause for which the group was initially formed........I was press ganged on to two committee’s very much against my better judgement,one down one to go.

I feel as if I have been let out of jail. These middle class genteel types think that any direct action is tantamount to guerilla war fare,well if guerilla warfare is what it takes then so be it. Had I not taken direct action yesterday by positioning my self and my scooter in such a way as to prevent further felling three years hard work would have been destroyed in half and hour and many nests now full of young birds would have been destroyed.

Nothing is going to be gained by holding yet another half baked event on a muddy field to raise a few pounds, most of the group could afford to donate twice as much as we make without even noticing it. We should have been obtaining grants and sponsorships,that’s where the real money is.

The bottom line is this,it does not matter a damn how much money we raise to buy and site bird boxes and bat boxes,the releasing of butterflies and moths if the habitat in which they are to be located has been trashed.

Without the constraints of the committee I am now able to act as I think best and if that means getting myself arrested and being charged with causing an obstruction so be it. The group need no longer be concerned that their “Good name “ will be sullied by my militant activities..

|WOOD MAN SPARE THAT TREE

Almost the moment I awoke I heard the dreaded sound of chainsaws coming from the graveyard behind our house. For almost four years we battled to have the place designated a conservation area and we were successful. Unfortunately the Local Authority and the contractors have neglected to inform the crews that no work is to be carried out at sensitive times of the year.

I arrived to find them actually cutting away the cover from around a bird box, I asked them to stop,they refused.

After remonstrating with them for some time and even showing them the plans they insisted that they were going to proceed,This left me with no choice but to drive my mobility scooter in between their lorry and the shredder in to which they were feeding the branches,I refused to budge,they stopped work.

They had felled heavy branches directly on to ground cover in with Robins and Wrens were nesting,the pair of |Robins flew frantically about attempting to reach their nest which was totally crushed,it was heartbreaking.

My son arrived at this point and we both stood firm, the men remained aggressive, I called a friend and asked her to ring the contractors coordinator and a few moments later the coordinator called me. She had even less idea as to what was going on, she asked me to move, I refused.

Then the head of the department was sent for, a smarmy little tick with a narcissus complex, he arrived and began to through his weight about,I began filming. He insisted that “His men were not leaving the site until they had finished the job.” I told him that he had better fetch the police as I was not going away.

Instead he sent for the company Ecologist, a vague , ineffectual character who blustered for a few minutes before giving up,I continued to film.

At last after a long exchange of words the Narcissus admitted on tape that his men were acting negligently and that admission was enough,he had admitted that the damage had been done by his men,I needed no more. Realising his blunder he attempted to cover it up,to late ,I had him bang to rights and I told him so. He asked for a copy of the tape.

By now I was exhausted and my brilliant son took over,he offered then a means of extracting themselves from the trouble le they were in and they grabbed it like drowning men.

The work stopped,the men left. Now an all party consultation will take place before any further work is done,there is to be no more strimming and no more felling at nesting time.

Should they go back on their word there is always the tape which is enough to lose the lot of them their jobs at best, and a t worst a very hefty fine.

I told them that they would have to leave the site before I would go and I was the last person to leave.

This proves the utter futility of attempting to gain a result with the local authority by being reasonable. It also proves to utter futility of trying to get the better of a little old lady on a mobility scooter....can you imagine the press coverage. They had lost before they began to argue.

Another bunch of bullies bit the dust,and it looks as if I have dropped back in again.(see yesterdays blog)

THE DAY I BECAME A DROP OUT

I knew that today was going to be a bad one, today was the day when the cat Moth had to be taken to the vet for her booster shot. Last time she scratched lumps out of me and I have still a couple of partly healed scratches. This time the blessed animal almost flayed me alive, one deep scratch on my hand went down to the bone and a couple of others on my wrist narrowly missed an artery.

Dripping with blood I managed at last to push the little terror in to her carry case, she was back from the vet's and settle down on the bed well before I managed to stop the bleeding. To add insult to injury ,after her jab she walked, without any apparent reluctance into her carry case!

I had tried her favourite food,catnip, cat calming pills all to no avail,in the end with the taxi due at any moment I caught the little baggage in a keep net and pushed her in to the case. It will be some time before I am able to do any gardening, bummer!

Pa and my son have been putting me under pressure for some time to relinquish some of my committee work. It is true that I do seem to be endlessly embroiled in one battle or another and the boys think it is time I stopped. I gave much thought to this during a sleepless night and decided that the only way to cut the workload would be to resign altogether. I hate letting people down but I see now that it is the only way.

The boys are right of course but this fact did not make the writing of my letter of resignation any easier. It is true that I have been badly over committed but I find it impossible to say no to a goods cause. Hey Ho! At least now I shall be able to spend more time in the gardening and perhaps catch up on the house work.

I am looking forward to climbing in to my snug bed tonight,and I am as glad as I can be to see the rear end of this ghastly day.

AVIE LOSES HER TEMPER

I spent a merry hour and a half this morning discussing an up coming event in one of our local parks. Present at this meeting were the Chairman of the Friends of the park, the team leader of a group of volunteers, the Head Ecologist (or what passes for one) employed by our local contractors, and the secretary who had coordinated the meeting.

Firstly,the work we were having to carry out was all work which should have been done by the council contractors.

Secondly much of the work had been caused by the council contractors.

Thirdly, considering the head ecologists somewhat cavalier attitude towards the wild life in the borough he had rather a lot to say. AS did his secretary who's knowledge of environmental issues is not exactly her strong suit!

Add to this the fact that this is the moron responsible for the continuing problems with the churchyard ( he has not passed of copies of the conservation plan to his ground crew). He never answers letters or emails and is almost the worst liar I ever met,not quite the worst as this enviable title goes to another member of his team who has reached the stage where he actually belies his own lies.

I have been dealing with these twerps for some years and I have remained curious in the face of insults and indifference....until today.

I mentioned the fact that he had not yet dealt with a number of serious infringements by his work force, had not had the decency to reply to our letters and had not ,after three years yet managed to get his team to actually work to the plans laid out for the conservation areas.

I caught a look which passed between him and his secretary and for once I really lost my temper.

I will not bore you with all the I sad, they said, suffice it to say that I reminded the pair of them with the full force of argument that they were public servants, that I was one of the poor saps paying their extortionate salaries, and that I wished to know when they proposed t commence earning their money.

We hear so much about the “Big Society” wished for by the Conservative Party, our community has joined forces to protect our local environment. We have raised money for many projects and what have we received from our Local Conservative Council and their dodgy contractors? Nothing but hindrance and a total lack of interest at every step.

I have to report that my plain speaking entertained the volunteers leader and I received considerable encouragement from the gentleman. I left the other two feeling much less complaisant than they had been on their arrival ,for as they made haste to deny that their work force had been responsible for all the damage I was able to exhibit photographic evidence that they were ,once again telling porkies!

I gave them one last chance to sort it out,before sending the entire dossier to the local press,who are already smelling a story and would be only too willing to publish.

I, and others like me are attempting to save what is left of the precious green space in our City from the twin monsters,Greed,and Ignorance, today I spoke with both.

EVERYBODIES GARDENING

We were an industrious set in our part of the village today,we all spent the day in our gardens,and of course some time was spent chatting in neighbourly fashion over garden gates and fences, and in one instance from the branches of a tree.

Our new neighbours,determined to reclaim their pretty garden from over a years neglect worked hard all through the day removing weeds and planting young annuals to enliven the tired borders. The young lady is soon to have a child and she looked particularly lovely sitting among the spring flowers, a symbol of new life.

My other neighbour was working in his garden dealing with a heavy overgrowth of wild clematis whose growth is swamping some young trees, we chatted over the fence at the bottom of the orchard,swapping stories of massive slugs,huge spiders and the family of foxes who live in the orchard .

From another garden the clatter of a mower could be heard along with an occasional curse when the blades became chocked on the long grass. This is a problem we all have as due to last years atrocious weather many lawns and pathways were not given their final cut in October,some had not been cut since August.

By mid afternoon the air was filled with the lovely smell of cut grass and green things growing, by six the air was full of the acrid stench of petrol and barbecued meat of indeterminate species!

We all made the most of the sunshine and the Bank Holiday and every garden along the lane looks better for the days work. A little further down the lane the owners of the allotments had also been hard at work, we really are a very horticultural society.

I have at last sowed my runner beans and carrots as well as some salad varieties and a few flowers,I have many more to sew and the kitchen garden beds are in need of digging,badly in need as the Autumn digging was another victim of torrential rain, needless to say the weeds have made free!

I cannot say if I shall do any gardening tomorrow, the last couple of days have taken their toll and I am now in a good deal of pain,I have a badly swollen left ankle and my right knee resembles a football,my back feels as if it will never be straight again and my left hip keeps on giving way in a most alarming fashion.

If I cannot garden I shall spend the day catching up with neglected correspondence, I am to happy with the way the gardens look now to regret the work which has caused the discomfort and some of the seeds sowed only on Saturday are through already, cause indeed for celebration.

My son has put his foot down and told me that tomorrow must take things easy....of else!

He is right ,of course but the rest of the strawberry patch needs weeding

the salad beds need digging as do the winter vegetable beds,not to mention the summer vegetable bed. The wine berry needs tying in and so do the loganberries,the raspberries need cutting back....the list is endless.

Pa said to me on my birthday,”The things that did not get done had to be left because of all the things you did today.” I think that perhaps I shall take notice and not beat myself up any more, may be tomorrow I shall sit in the garden with my lap top and write my letters in the open air.......chill,as Pa says.