TRICK OR TREAT ?

Years ago when I was a child no one had heard of Trick or Treat,we celebrated Halloween with apple bobbing and telling spooky stories,there was the occasional party but as a rule it was very much a family thing,and none the worse for that.

We did however at this time of the year trundle our Guy Faulkes effigies about yelling “Penny for the Guy”. Any money received would be spent on fire works,usually bangers and with these we terrorised the neighbourhood for days before November the fifth.

I rather like the trick or treaters and over the years we have had some wonderful witches,wizards zombies and vampires,so much effort had gone in to the costumes that the children deserved a reward. Unfortunately we have also had visits from very unpleasant teenage boys who did not care about getting a treat. Instead they would throw rotten eggs at the windows and damage the garden.

For us last years Halloween was the beginning of a nightmare few weeks when every night after dark these louts would come and steal out tools ,damage the buggy and even stooped to stealing Pa's crutches from the side of the house.

This year we are ready for the little blighter’s and shall deal with them as we have always dealt with such rowdies. At the side of the house is a tap located directly under one of my bedroom windows and it is my intention to pass a hose through that window,across the room to the front bedroom window...are you beginning to see?

Should we receive any unwelcome Halloween guest the will be on the receiving end of a pressure washer and I wish them joy of it!

Of course we also have treats for the little loves who come so beautifully dressed as devils etc. we hope for lots of those.

My own contribution to the occasion is a life size model of a skeletal monk whose eyes glow with an eerie green light. Deployed halfway down the garden path it should cause some amusement to passers by.

Light up the pumpkin masks shake out the skeletons and let us have a great time scaring the pants off each other.....Happy Halloween.

AN ORDINARY DAY ?LET HISTORY DECIDE

Today a most important matter is being decided,something that will affect every man ,woman and child in this country and yet there is no sense of history being changed. For longer than the Thames has flowed past the seat of government the  people of this country have fought for , and after centuries of suffering won the the battle for what is today being allowed to be filched from them without a whimper.

I am of course referring to the matter of free speech and the last ditch attempt by the press to prevent Parliament from thrusting this rights of British citizens back hundreds of years.

I promise you that I am not being unnecessarily dramatic ,every word is the plain dreadful truth!

For years successive governments have attempted to curb the press, why, because they are uncomfortable with the truth or more to the point they are uncomfortable with the people being told the, truth.

Remember Tony Blair’s insistence that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, remember how desperately he attempted to persuade parliament that we should attack Iraq. Remember how finally he told the house that those weapons could be deployed at any time and could hit targets in the UK in minutes. With that speech he persuaded the members to support his wishes and many voted in his favour on the strength of that statement. Tony Blair lied!

Within hours of that vote the first bombs landed on Iraqi soil and it was obvious that Blair and Bush had already made the decision to attack. Imagine what would have happened if Tony Blair had been unable to sway the vote to suit his urgent need of approval for the greatest mistake in modern history.

The discovery that The P.M had not been truthful was uncovered by the media who received information from a certain Dr Kelly that the information given at that vitals debate had been “sexed up” it was erroneous, incorrect, let us be frank ,it was an out right lie.

The BBC broad cast this information and as a result Tony Blair instigated a witch hunt which caused the controller of the BBC Greg Dyke to be fired, Piers Morgan ,whose newspaper ran the story was also sacked and Dr Kelly , an honest honourable man paid for Mr Blair’s displeasure with his life.

More recently the media uncovered,and is still uncovering the fraudulent expenses claims of members of Parliament, they uncovered and continue to uncover the perfidious behaviour of our banks. All of this we have a right to know and that knowledge has made the Government uncomfortable .

What is happening today is pay back, payback for making those fraudulent liars who form pour government give up their illegal perks.

Imagine that this bill had been passed then that scandal broke,how much of it would we have been allowed to know. When the banks collapsed how much of the truth of the matter would we have been told. You need to ask yourselves that question and it has to be now.

I piece of writing such as this could well be against the law this time tomorrow because quite suddenly telling the truth had become a crime, it could also become dangerous.

This bill will not simply affect the media, it will rob every citizen of the freedom to express his beliefs,weather right or wrong. We have a perfectly;y good legal system to deal with slander and liable and that should be enough.

B y morning we may well be living in a country no no better in the matter of free speech that Iraq whose president we removed for this offence among others. Quite a though isn't it.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

I have as you know been rather fragile of late and have been finding it difficult to keep to my usual pursuits, in order to give me a break from the endless cooking and washing up my son.(bless him) decided that tonight he would cook dinner.....and thereby hangs a tail.....!

The story really began yesterday when I passed the shopping list to my son( we order most of our shopping on line from one supermarket of another). He decided that tonight’s dinner would be scampi and chips with peas,lemon sauce and home made bread,it sounded lovely.

Now while even I ,the champion of freshly prepared food occasionally purchase ready to cook scampi it is useful when one is in a hurry and tastes perfectly acceptable if not served too often.

My son (bless him) ordered what can only be described as breaded extrusions of god knows what coated very thinly in breadcrumbs,he congratulated himself (bless him) on getting a bargain!

Why he chose to do this knowing my views on anything containing chopped shaped or reformed slurry held together with stabilisers we may never know. He swears that he was in ignorance as to the nature of his,bargain..my God I do hope that is true!

At the appointed time he went to the kitchen to prepare our repast and I joined him to set the table,it was at this point that I noticed the atrocity about to be visited upon us...I could scarce believe my eyes. I was mortified that such a thing should have disgraced my freezer even for a few hours,it was a nasty situation.

My son ( bless him) was inclined to the view that we had eaten them before and assured us that all would be well,the smell of damp dog emanating from the oven as they cooked did nothing to whet our appetites. All too soon the meal was served ans I approached the table with no pleasure whatever and poor old Pa announced that as he was not hungry it would not matter that there were so few pieces of “Scampi”.

Actually that was the only saving grace the stuff had,having opened two bags my son (bless him) uncovered about 30 pieces each one the size of a small shottie or marble depending upon what part of the country you are from.

I broke open on of these nasty little horrors and revealed a small square,grey in colour and so unappetising in its appearance that no one managed to eat any and we feasted on chips,peas ans bread and butter, most unsatisfactory.

Of course I blamed myself for not having cooked tonight but my son (bless him_) would have none of it. He insisted on treating us all to a Chinese takeaway ( good fellow) and we are now awaiting the arrival of these welcome reinforcements.

Pa is downstairs lighting incense to eradicate the awful fishy smell which is lingering about the kitchen. How could anything containing so little fish smell do fishy, even the cat was not convinced, and stalked of in a huff when offered some, I wonder if she will ever forgive me?

WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT

Well prepared for the great storm to come we went to our beds last nigh as the rain fell in torrents.Hours later it was still raining as hard as ever and the lane looked like a river when I got out of bed to take a look.

With my television on the news channel I was kept up to date with the progress of the storm and it soon became apparent that it would not be so fearsome as we had expected, since I sleep directly under a very tall chimney pot and have a tall tree close enough to demolish the house if things got out of hand I was much reassured at this news.

Towards dawn the wind increased and although it's strength was considerably lees than was forecast the gusts were strong enough to cause damage and unfortunately death.

The Breakfast News was almost comical as one by one the poor reporters who had spent all night waiting to be blown to blazes did there level best to make the worst of things! Irate commuters moaned incessantly about the cancelled trains an subsequent delays .It was,in fact a no win situation for London Transport......for what it's worth I think the did the right thing, but try telling that to those poor souls queuing outside railway stations this morning.

Avies Small World suffered some casualty’s , I am sorry to tell you that an ancient oak tree containing a colony of very rare bats was blown down in the storm, splintering in to pieces as it fell.

In the shelter belt more trees some of great age has also succumbed to the wind and I felt very sad to see them laid low.

I am glad that the storm was less damaging generally than was expected and I do not think that was should be hard on the meteorologists,some one has to make the call and I am sure that it is better to prepared for the worst than to footle about and the get caught on the hop!

Last night my bed was warm , my room cosy with candle light and I counted my blessings that neither I, nor any one I loved was out in the wind and rain. Even our beloved cats had snuggled up for the night ,they were relaxed yet still slept with one eye open,cats are cautious creatures to be sure.

Today the wind,still strong has become much colder since yesterday and I think that last nights storm brought winter in it's wake.

Here, for now at least, all is well,I hope that you too pasted the night in safety, as warm and snug as we did in Avies Small World.

STORMS GONE BY

Throughout the day the Television has been broadcasting stern warnings as to the strength and expected destructive force of the approaching storm. Having battened down the hatches and made sure that we shall have no occasion to go out tomorrow we are as ready as we can be for whatever befalls.

Since I first heard of the storms approach I have been thanking the Gods that my dear son no longer works at night. For eight years he braved heavy snow,gales and heavy rain to get to his work place in The City, where he spent his nights as a financial editor. How I worried about him, what his work colleagues never knew was that he suffered from asthma, a condition not improved by struggling with severe weather conditions.

Now when the weather is bad I never fail to get a feeling of relief as we all settle down to a cosy night at home. I have lived through a good many extreme weather events .when you live on the high peak it goes with the territory. Gales were almost an annual event and no matter haw bad they were they seldom made the news......even the local news.....it was nothing new you see.

Three weeks after Pa and I moved in to our first home a great storm hit our area. Being new home owners and being also very young....I was only twenty we were more than usually concerned.

The storm had not been forecast, it was New Year and my seven year old brother was staying with us for the weekend. By tea time it was evident that we were in for a bad night and I decided to try to get my brother home as I knew my mother would worry even though he would have been safe with us.

Pa ,who had been to fetch the car arrived with bleeding hands having been unable to open the garage doors in the teethe of the gale. The doors had slammed shut and the glass panes had broken.

Pa had nailed up the broken windows, it was very evident that we should be going no where after all.

I called my mother who told me that she had sent my other brother and a friend to pick us all up and bring us to the safety of the farm. A massive building with walls three ft thick, as she spoke my brother arrived back at the farm with his friend but on foot,the wind had blown the van off the road and after several cartwheels it had come to rest in a ploughed field. The boys were lucky to be alive.

During the evening the wind increased,the noise was terrifying, a roaring, drumming sound interspersed with loud crashes,the big bat window of our house creaked like a ship in a storm and the whole house shook at each new blast.

The lights went out,unsurprisingly and of course the telephone was dead,now we were cut of and how I wished I was at the farm. A more than usually loud crash sent me running to the window and as |I opened the curtains I saw an apex shed roof flapping like a bird and heading directly for out house,thankfully it caught in some cables and landed in the lane a few metres from our window.

Our neighbour,an elderly gentleman appeared in the road, he picked up a downed electric cable which was spurting blue sparks, we shouted to him, to put it down but he could not hear us. Behind his back and unseen by him another cable also live writhed about in the road,almost hitting the old man so often that I could no longer bare to look. A t this point my poor little brother found it all too much and began to cry.

I made a hot drink on our primus stove and laced those drinks with brandy,liberally, soon the little chap was sound asleep in our warm bed,afraid no longer. In spite of all my past experience I was also afraid, I unlike Pa who was not a local I knew just how great our danger was....and there was nothing |I could do about it...nothing whatever.

A dreadful banging at the side of our house suggested trouble and so it proved to be. Our neighbour whose rickety garage housed a rather smart car decided to try to safe guard his vehicle by taking the boards off our garage doors and roping through our garage doors and out of a side window, it did save his car,but it cost us our garage roof and caused damage to our own car.

Now the storm was at it's hight and the dreadful sound was continuous, the wind was finding every cranny and the curtains billowed in every room. We had, in the interests of safety put out the fire and by now we were chilled to the bone, wearily we climbed in to bed on either side of my sleeping brother,and soon we were warm again.......we did not sleep but lay listening to the world outside our windows being torn apart. By first light I was glad to get up and make some tea.

The gale had dropped a little and we were able to go out side to view the horror and the miracle for although we had, through the stupid and selfish action of our neighbour lost our garage ours house was the only one in the village that still had a roof,intact.

It was not possible to go far as the roads were blocked by dead trees,my older brother, a tree surgeon made it his business to clear the road between our house and the farm and before lunch time we were sitting in the farm kitchen warm and safe and with a pile of bacon rolls before us,then we realised we had not eaten since lunch the day before..no wonder we were hungry.

All over the moor and in every village stories came in of property destroyed, roofs blow off. Haystacks blown in to the next parish,chimney stacks everywhere had collapsed in the storm. Roads were still blocked and my brother worked around the clock to clear them so that the electricity workers and the telephone repair boys as well as doctors and district nurses could get through.

He worked for four days with only an occasional break for an hour or twos sleep.

It soon became clear how great the damage had been, trees had succumbed to the gale in there thousands and whole woodlands had vanished, it was a sad sight indeed.

My father helped us to get repairs done to our house,a practical man in every way he soon had things shipshape again, but I never forgot that dreadful night.

GRANNY MUGWUMPS OUTRAGEOUSLY DECADENT HOT CHOCOLATE

With Halloween,Bonfire night and Christmas carolling looming upon the horizon here is a timely recipe for very good hot chocolate.

There are some  expensive brands on the market and very nice they are too.....if you can stand the cost. This recipe tastes as good ,if not better and for a fraction of the cost

Cocoa powder (not drinking chocolate)

vanilla essence

milk

sugar

pink and white marshmallows

Pour milk into each of the cups leaving about half and inch at the top. Pour the ,ilk in to a saucepan and bring to the boil. While the milk is boiling put two teaspoons of cocoa powder in to each of the mugs add the sugar and a little milk ,three drops of vanilla essence then mix to a paste.

When the milk begins to froth pour it on to the chocolate mixture and whisk with a fork. Once the drink is smooth pop half a dozen marshmallows on to of the cocoa and serve with a spoon or a fondue fork to pick out the melting marshmallows.

This drink is so good that it is worth going out and getting cold for......almost.

IN TO THE DARKNESS

A few short days will see the end of British Summertime for another year,after which the days will be even shorter. Actually the days will still have the same length,,it is just that there will be only around eight hours of daylight.

Dark afternoons and bad weather offer up an opportunity which we might, in summer time feel guilty about availing ourselves of, but with nothing to do in the garden and outings being on a chores only footing for a while, I can, with a clear conscience spend some time on myself,on doing the things I enjoy.

Curling up in a snug blanket with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate often seems like the hight of luxury to me in the summer when I am too busy to sit still for a moment. I have a delicious pile of books which I hope to read during the course of the next few months.

All kinds of craft work are fun for me from quilling to collage and patchwork to decoupage and in winter I have a little more time for these pursuits. Cooking and baking I do all the year round ,but it is in winter and particularly the run up to Christmas that I can be at my most creative cooking the unusual items and with ,perhaps just a little extravagance to mark the occasion.

In my younger days I hated winter and the bad weather that could keep me indoors for days,now I almost welcome it. I love the feeling of hunkering down in our little cottage with a well stocked pantry and lots of board games to play. I love the feeling of flannel sheets and a snug quilt.

Of course winter bring with it many concerns for the elderly which are less pleasant. Keeping warm in the face of rising fuel costs and a shrinking income. Getting to the shops in bad weather, and for many the short afternoons and long nights can mean loneliness,the worst of all the worries.

This year we have lost two good neighbours,both of whom could be relied upon in times of need. When Pa was ill and I had to go out one of them would always sit with him for an hour or two.

Both would always ask if we needed anything whenever they went in to town,and were frequent visitors for breakfast and afternoon tea. We shall miss them very much as the nights drawn in.

Now the my son is working from home we are not alone at night quite so much ,however I have no wish to curb his private life or interfere with his work and keep requests for help to a minimum.

We shall survive of course,groceries can be delivered and it is possible to buy almost anything in line these days. Now I am going to ask a favour of you,if you have any elderly folks living near you ,please spare a thought for them now that the nights are drawing in. Just a knock on your way out to see if all is well,goes a long way towards making someone living alone feel a little safer.

Perhaps you could drop by for a cup of tea and a chat once in a while , please do not be afraid to get involved. Most old people still have much to offering the way of friendship and wise council,they only want a chance to give the love they still have in them and the experience of a lifetime.

If the only good deed you do is to check up on a neighbours welfare now and them you will have done a great deal of good. These days with endless commercials telling us that with “just two pounds a month” we can change the world we are becoming a community of cyber do gooders.

There is nothing wrong with helping children,animals, war victims or any good cause with a few pounds but it's so much more fun doing it for real. So please, make make someone’s day,ask how they are. The best way to show you care is to actually ...care. Such a little thing to ask,so don't be afraid,you may be surprised by how soon you new friend is helping you.

DRAMA ?

A new channel recently appeared among the sorry line up of shopping channels and the repeats of long dead game shows,the new channel sports the name Drama!

To be frank I really did not expect much from this newcomer in spite of the pretentious name and so far it has entirely lived up to my expectations. What boggles my mind is the lose way in which the title Drama is bandied about,apparently episodes of “The Bill” and the very old Bill at that qualify for the title.

The new channel seems to be an excuse to show a bunch of ancient episodes of such things as those dreadful Catherine Cookson bodice rippers which should have been given a decent burial twenty years ago. Tilley Trotter has had more airings than my grannies bloomers...I kid you not!

Already there is Yesterday which dwells on the Second World War to the exclusion of all else and while I welcome any thing that keeps the folly of war rife in the minds of all it must be faced that this show has lasted years longer than the war it's self and runs the grave risk of becoming boring

Then there is that abominable pseudo archaeology programme “ Time Team” with that nasty little tic Tony Robinson capering up and down prattling on about Geo fizz! Yuk!

Surely to God once was enough. This out fit were thrown off a site close to my home for messing up a site of some importance.

As for me when I watched them remove the sacred tree from the mud flats against the wishes of all concerned I was so angry I felt like cursing the lot of them. Who the hell do they think they are.

Back now to “ Drama” I cannot help wondering why any one would bother to air such a show, unless they intended to show some real televisual drama. Here are a few suggestions

1:The Age Of Kings. A fantastic series of plays based of Shakespeare and full of wonderfully young actors.

2:The Power Game. A political drama in every sense of the word.

3: A Raging calm. A powerful drama set in the North of England and starring the incomparable Alan Badel.

4:All Passion Spent,sensitive and haunting and starring Wendy Hilliard in old age.

5: The Oneidin Line. I for one would love to watch Peter Gilmore in his prime.

There are some many wonderful Television Dramas they could broadcast so why the same ones already shown innumerable times on innumerable channels? And why such light weight froth?

It would seem that my expectations were too high,but, have we not seen enough Cop Shows,Doctors,Hospitals, and Hotel dramas?

I have watched some of these show so often that I am almost word perfect. I think it's time they showed some less repeated repeats and let us all off the treadmill.

GREAT NEWS FOR PA

Late in the afternoon of yesterday Pa received the telephone call he had been waiting for for months,he now has the date for his knee replacement surgery,December 6^th 2013. Next week he has his pre surgery check up,after that if there is a cancellation the operation could take place even sooner,which we are all hoping for.

Poor Pa has suffered dreadfully for many years and to have hope that soon he may at least be free from pain is wonderful, of course we hope that he will be able to walk again but such is the damage to both bone and tendons that we dare not hope for too much.

The main thing is that we have managed to get his operation done at the best hospital for this type of surgery in London instead of the  Hospital which is just a couple of hundred yards away from our home. The last time pa was a patient there (bowel surgery in 2007 I think it was) they almost killed him.

The after surgery care on the wards was terrible. They left him without any pain relief for three days when he should have been of I.V pain relief. One of his medications (a controlled drug) disappeared on the day of his operation, a fact which they failed to mention. After several days without this vital drug Pa was very unwell.

Next I discovered that they had not been giving him his epilepsy medication nor the medication for narcolepsy and in fact were not aware that he had these conditions for which there is no excuse.

One afternoon when arrived to visit Pa the nurse told me that he was comatose, it was at this point that I discovered that Pa had not been given any of his medication,except for,believe it or not a sleeping tablet, given to him at eight thirty........in the morning. Now I was really worried.

I spoke to the staff nurse who told me all was well and when I asked again a little later accused me of being a nuisance! By now Pa was having difficulty breathing and was in acute pain from his surgery,the dressing on his wound had not been changed for several days and actually smelled bad.

Again I attempted to alert the nursing staff to his condition, I was told that the nurses were busy with their rounds and was I trying to teach them their job. This time I pointed out that Pa was blue, his lips ,nose hands and feet,at last I got a reaction, a crash trolley and a consultant were sent for.

It transpired that Pa should have been on oxygen but that this had been disconnected while his bed was moved and not reconnected. A combination of no pain relief, no oxygen ,no fluids and absolutely no attention from the nurses had brought Pa to within a few minutes of death.

This is not the only incident we have experienced at this woefully inadequate hospital. A friend of ours was in their care for a month and during that time and in spite of the fact that he was in a room with a shower he was never washed. Unable to walk unassisted he had had to make do with a daily shave. He smelled so bad he was too ashamed to have his beloved granddaughters to visit him.

While in the care of this hospital he developed dreadful bed sores which went unattended, when I asked about this the nurse told me that it had been dressed the day before but that the dressing had “come off”. She made it sound as if there was only one dressing in the place and her reasoning was Why put on a dressing if it is going to come off again. One of these sores went to the bone.

He had been put on a special diet because he could not swallow,this never materialised and I was obliged to take in suitable food when I visited him. The whole thing was a disgrace. He died,unexpectedly after a month of neglect and on the day of his death a viscous black fluid was leaking from the opening in his stomach where a feeding peg had been located.

We were not family but had we been I should have demanded a second opinion as to cause of death,however when is family did show up ,at the funeral no one seemed to mind, after all they had not been there to see his plight!

It took quite a bit of jostling to get Pa into the hospital where his operation will take place,it does a lot of private work and we have no medical insurance.

The relief we all feel knowing that ,not only will Pa have a good surgeon, but also good after care on the wards. I assure you that we feel the luck of our situation and are very thankful for our .G.P s assistance in the matter.

So now we wait, this time with hope. Today I made our Christmas cake,Pa adores a rich fruit cake and as the next few weeks will be busy with non-Chrismassy doings at least the centre piece of the Christmas tea table will be ready.

Now I am in sore need of a quick shower and a long rest so I will wish you a good night and I do mean good.

A Very Tiring Day...

Avie's had a very long day today, and was so tired she went to bed early; hopefully tomorrow should be easier!

WONKIE WILLIE AND THE WELLIE WANGLING CONTEST

Rural England these days is a shadow of it's former self,gone is the village school,the village post office,the blacksmith and the corner shop. Even the village pub is disappearing fast,morphing in to a “Gastro Pub”or closing altogether.

The small mixed farms have merged into huge single crop farms and their outbuildings have become holiday lets or second homes for affluent townies. As all that made village life sweet slips silently into history I would like to say a word about a village activity dear to the hearts of all those who are country born and bred, the village fête.

The great excitement engendered by this event had nothing to do with it's size and everything to do with the fact that village children and adults alike,having spent the winter mewed up by snow and bad weather were desperate for a little amusement,a little innocent pleasure.

For children there would be the fairground rides,iced cream(rare in those times) candy floss(even rarer) and of course the choosing and crowning of the may queen and her retinue.

This last caused a terrific bustle in the village from February onwards and there was much jostling for position on “the train”, a velvet affair lined with silk,edged with ermine and carried by eight little girls. To be chosen for this honour was the high spot in many a school girls life, the pretty frilly long dresses,made all the girls feel like queens.

Less of an honour was being chosen to dance around the maypole,boys in particular detested this event and bribery was often resorted to by parents and teachers alike and eventually the two dozen boys and girls would assemble fro practice with much shuffling of feet among the boys and giggling amongst the girls.

The real fun was,of course the village sports,tug of war,tossing the sheaf,firing the anvil and,one of the most risky of all spectator sports,wellie wangling!

A long course was set up in the centre of the field, at the top the contestants would line up with their wellies and further down the field would be the markers,intrepid souls who risked much to see fair play and ensure a winner without a riot!

The contestants would fill their wellies with custard from a bath full of the stuff and then, with whatever technique they preferred they hurled the wellie as far down the field as they could. Quite often an over enthusiastic wangler would let go of his wellie too soon and cover the spectators in custard,much to the delight of those fortunate ones who were not in range, and famous for this tenancy was Wille Wilton who's slight hunch back had given him the nick name Wonkie Willie!

Other than this slight deformity he was perfectly normal and extremely intelligent, he had at an early age realised that he could make quite a bit of pin money by playing the village idiot at events like the fête and although none of the villagers ever fell for his monkey trick strangers to the village just come for the fair were to Willie fair game.

Willie had a difficulty in throwing his wellie in a straight line and the local bookie would take bets on which way the wellie would fly and which side of the crowd would get the custard. Willie in on the whole thing always managed to favour the bookie and drew his share of the winning at the local pub in the evening.

On the day before the fête word hit the village that a V.I.P was coming to the fête in the person of a certain famous actress currently appearing at a theatre in a nearby town and worshipped as a deity by Willie. The added frisson caused by this news was tangible and the person most affected was Willie.

Where would she stand,he would not want to shower the Goddess with custard,it caused him a very sleepless night. Next morning the festivities began with a church service and a blessing of the village well,Willie was no where to be seen. His confederate, the bookie became quite concerned and asked tenderly after Willie's welfare all over the village.

The time appointed for the wellie wangling contest arrived with out sight of Willie, wellies and custard flew in all directions missing the crowd by inches. The guest of honour was seated in the place of honour with the village Illuminate,squire, doctor and local magistrate,and my heart went out to the poor woman for a more boring trio could not be imagined.

At last Willie waddled up the field and it was soon plain to all that he was roaring drunk,the bookie had anaesthetised him with Rum and he was raring to go.

H e dangled his custard filled wellie and waved it provocatively at the crowd who shrunk back in affected fear.

The times round the head went the wellie before Willie let go, the wellie arced in to the air spinning as it went. F or this throw the markers were redundant for the wellie and the custard landed squarely in on the judges table, it's sudden sharp stop causing the custard to splatter the judges and the guest of honour.

Wille was mortified....after he had sobered up, even though his cut of the winnings was bigger than ever before. There was a third person who took a cut of the winning that year, it was the visiting actress who was, we later learned related to our bookie.

Willie, never got to meet his idol and in fact he never wangled again. M y father taught his to shoot and he spent the next fête winning all the prizes at the riffle stall,in spite of the fact that the rifles all had bent sights....but that’s another story.

BACK TO BAKING

Recently I have done far less baking than formerly,a combination of tiredness, medication and the fact that my son no longer takes cookies to work. These days I bake bread once a week instead of three times,twice at the most and cookies about once every week or two. Today with Christmas around the corner I decided to put myself through my paces in order to be ready when the time comes to bake our Christmas goodies.

Today I baked a batch of biscuits,a kind of spicy shortbread round with a toffee set in the middle...yummy. A batch of seven loaves came next, all different shapes and with different toppings,we ate some tonight with fish and chips (cooked by my son) it was a lovely meal.

Harry, our part time Tom cat spent most of the day curled up on my bed,rising occasionally to eat then returning to his slumbers. Never have I seen a cat so relaxed. Moth spent the day under my bed,she would like to give the impression that she is indifferent to Harry when really she admires him very much.

Twiggy kept company with Pa all day curled up beside him while he dealt with some outstanding paper work...and about time too!

I am waffling,this is because I am falling asleep,I have to keep erasing rows of letters caused when I fall asleep for a few secondsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Time for bed, goodnight one and all.................................................

THINGS GO RIGHT....................FINGERS CROSSED.

There is no doubt that by lunch time yesterday Murphy was running the show here,if it could go wrong it did!

Today however there is a considerable improvement,for which relief much thanks; as yesterday was so atrocious I seriously suspected that the whole family was under a curse.

For instance, I find as I grow older I feel the cold more than usually so this year I decided to invest in some flannel sheets. It can be difficult to obtain real flannel sheets these days,almost always one discovers that the sheets are really flannelette in disguise. In spite of this I ordered a rather nice set of bed linen comprising top sheet, fitted sheet and a pair of pillow cases in a warm brown check.

When they arrived yesterday not only were they made from a very inferior fabric,they had some how transmogrified along the way into a duvet cover and sheet, and rather oddly,no pillow cases?

At first the on line vendor was inclined to truculence and refused to refund (due to the poor quality a replacement was out of the question),until my son gave him chapter and verse on the law concerning such matter,where upon he folded at once and “Was please to refund my money if I would be so good as to return the goods.)

I was disappointed ,another chilly few nights were on the cards,then my son found a supplier of what looked like excellent bed linen and he purchased a set for me., and to my amazement they arrived this morning. Now washed and hanging on the airer they should,with luck be keeping me cosy this time tomorrow.

Most of the little niggles of yesterday have sorted themselves out and we are all much happier for it.

As for that appalling shambles which calls it self(straight faced mark you) the Government of the U.S.A. ,

they seem to have pulled back from the brink of the abyss....for the moment.

Let us ,however not become complacent,hell still awaits and the hand cart ise still out on rental to the United States Senate,remember it ain't over until the fat lady sings.........God bless America presumably?

TIME TO PROTEST WHILE WE ARE STILL ALLOWED TO SPEAK

Amongst all the news this morning,most of it bad a couple of items seemed to connect themselves in my mind and the more I thought about what I had heard the more angry I became.

Firstly another major energy supplier has announced rises in fuel prices about the rate of inflation, Now it must be said that we are becoming well used to this annual massive hike in energy costs at the start of every winter,equally we are used to the minuscule lowering of those costs in summer time when no one uses their heating.

Almost the next item contained the result of yet another crackpot survey which had discovered that even in families where the householders work full time ,they do not earn enough to keep themselves and their children above the poverty line. These people,the politician explained were not those(scroungers...his word not mind) who are on benefits,but people in employment ,people who do the right thing .His words again.

Shock, horror. What could be the cause of this peculiar circumstance,are we not told almost hourly by our elected leaders that work is the way out of poverty? With millions of working people unable to pay their bills it begins to look as if this much chanted mantra is incorrect!

Before I address the connection between these two items of news I should like to say this. Since when did losing your job in a time of unprecedented financial difficulty automatically turn a decent honest man,or woman in to a scrounger,a parasite upon society, a cheat. This attitude to the unemployed is a disgrace to our nation. The unemployed ,the elderly(who also got a bashing today) and the disabled are not the cause of our present troubles, they are the victims.

Those in work which pays a decent living wage should thank the Gods for their good fortune instead of repeating this seditious politicians cant!

Back now to the point,and it is simply this. As long as the cost of living is allowed to rise ,and as long as pay is either frozen or is well below the rate of inflation people will become poorer every year.

Excuse me folks but I am certain that it does not take any kind of enquiry to unearth this very obvious problem.

If Governments can enforce the rate of pay increases they should also be able to enforce a balance in the rising cost of living by refusing to sanction such massive price rises across the board.

Of course they will twitter on about that being bad for the economy, to this I say, surely having people working hard and being unable to pay their bills let alone spend money on consumer goods is much worse for the economy, and I ask, do the think that we are stupid?

Robbing one element of our increasingly poor society to give a few extra pounds to another is not the answer . The answer is a strong government with the will,the wit and the courage to once and for all put a stop to these price increases and give us a chance to at least break even at the end of the week.

I am aware that these giant corporations hold a gun to our heads by saying that they will pull out of our country if we cut of their supply of perks and stop their pay increases. Banks and energy providers are not the only ones to use this method of negotiation, it is rife in our time and it is unconscionable.

Matters in the Unites States are in such a mess that there is a small consolation in the fact that at least our government has not engaged in such irresponsible behaviour.......yet......and I do stress yet! President versus Congress, arguing over trifle while the national debt runs at $ 17,000,000,000,000 ( I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH NOUGHTS) and ordinary hard-working Americans are expected to live on fresh air.......this is a symptom of the same disease we suffer in the U.K, Politics before people, and to hell with the consequences.

Remember back in the days of Maggie, so many people refused to pay the unfair pole tax that the courts could not cope  and the tax was scraped. I am guessing that if everyone refused to pay their winter fuel bill it would concentrate the greedy minds of the power providers pretty damn quick.

After all they could not disconnect every ones gas and electricity, they cannot take everyone to court for none payment of our fuel bills. Believe me they cannot afford to hold out against a protest on that scale,they need the money. So how about it, how about a great big boycott of our winter fuel bills. Lets give the hard hearted skin flints the same Merry Christmas they want for us. I'm game if you are!

GRANNY MUGWUMPS ODDS AND ENDS BOX

If you are planning to make our own Christmas cards,gift tags or decorations now is a good time to begin collecting the odds and ends or bits and bobs as Granny Mugwump use to say .

I made a start some time ago but there is still plenty of time to fill a bits box.

Lengths of ribbon and coloured string ,buttons foil sweetie wrappers , bits of wool and fabric,oddments of every kind were squirrelled away until a use could be found for them

Granny's bits box was a source of great delight to us as children and to be allowed to trawl through its contents was considered a great treat. Supervised by Mum we would carefully take everything out of the box and spread it on the big kitchen table, once an ancient Aunt had donated a cream feather boa, that year we had the best dressed fairy in the village and what looked like real snow flakes on the branches of our tree.

We made woollen pom-poms from bright coloured wool, the red ones, with a little artifice could be made to look like robins and since our tree was usually a twiggy branch rather than a fir tree they looked perfect. Thin card, a staple in the bits box and saved from cereal packets was cut in to stars,hearts or bird shapes and covered with fabric,or painted, or even more fun decorated with the scrunched up foil and cellophane wrappers from last years tin of sweets.

While shopping today I noticed how many of this years decorations look home made,I suppose in an attempt to invoke a homely,folksy Christmas at a time when money is not plentiful.

Plaques in thin wood or even thinner metal with the words,peace,joy, love home and so on cut out and strung at the back to hang on a door or window. All very fine at anything from three to ten pounds depending on the size.

If decorations are going to look home made, then let them be home made and have all the fun of making them with a gaggle of bright eyed children who will be over the moon at the prospect of doing something for Christmas. Why not make your own window signs using cut out card and white paint,after all shabby chic is in just now?

I have said the before I know but here it is again folks. Christmas cannot be bought,Christmas must be made. It must be made with love by all the family,in this way small children learn the joy of giving,sharing and above all how to make others happy without even realising that they are having a lesson. You may not have a Granny Mugwump, but you can still have a bits and odds box to delight your own children and to save lots of money,don't forget that this year home made is more fashionable than ever ,above all have fun.

Avie's Working Too Hard...

Avie's worked extremely hard today, to the point that she has taken to her bed early...normal service to be resumed tomorrow...

A CIRCULAR TOUR

Today I went round in so many circles that I resembled the fabled Oozalum bird and almost came to the same sticky end! Yet again I was obliged to visit my G.P's surgery in order to correct one of their endless mistakes. I have said so much about this problem of late that I run the risk of becoming boring therefore enough said!

Thence to the supermarket I travelled an unusual route along the Great West Road,the number of nutters on four wheels was up to the usual average which meant that I needed eyes in an area familiar the the afore mentioned Oozalum bird. I sought out the items forgotten on my last visit and headed to my next port of call.

Another left turn took me to the hardware store where I picked up the vital necessities which I forgot last time I was there, a pattern is emerging as you can see.

All in all a trip of at least four miles,more like five,and this on a mobility scooter with only rudimentary suspension along some of the worst pavements in the Western Hemisphere!

As a result I fell as if I had spent the afternoon in an industrial tumble dried with a load of logs, I am battered and bruised and very tired indeed.

Thank the Gods I am not an Oozalum bird,tonight the vanishing act would be impossible, my bum being quite square due to my long drive.

“Sit down,” they said on my return home. “Have some coffee and relax.” I could not have sat down at that moment for and introduction to Sean Connery!

CUSTOMER SERVICE?

I will have mentioned that due to a lack of quality butchers charging affordable prices in West London ,I have for some years been ordering our meat from an excellent butcher in Grimsby. Only last week I placed an order with them foe a variety of meats, a three months supply in fact. I also placed my Christmas order at the same time,all very easy.

Recently a small town near us revived it,s Sunday market, fruit,veg,fish,all the usual stuff with rather too many “street food” stalls for my taste, all the same mindful of helping local business and keeping the high street alive we decided to support the market.

Frankly in the beginning I was not impressed,over priced cheese jostled with sweaty looking fish and vacuum packed meat which looked exactly like the rubbish available in supermarkets,then a few weeks ago the butchers changed and a very knowledgeable chap took over and the meat began to look as if if might be worth the price being charged.

I took a leg of lamb and ordered a leg of mutton for the following weekend and on the day appointed I went to collect the meat. As I wrote in earlier blogs it was a wonderful piece of meat which made several good meals. Having ordered some pork for this Sunday I was none too pleased to see torrential rain this morning as it would mean a wetting .

Not wishing to let the butcher down I climbed into my huge yellow rain poncho and began the mile long journey to the market. On the way my mind ran through a list of pork recipes and decided on sticky pork with wraps, and salad,imagine my annoyance when on arriving at the stall there was no pork to be had!

The usual butcher was not there and instead a man(rather surly) and a woman(rather dim were serving the only customer they had. I spoke to the woman about my order and she looked put out,she asked the man if there was (any more pork) ,his reply was in the negative....and that was that. No apology or a can we get you any thing else....nothing!!

I was very ,very angry and told the unprepossessing pair that I was surprised that they could afford to lose regular trade,especially the sort which came out in filthy weather to honour a deal!

Need less to say I shall give them no more custom,with winter approaching I do not intend to make any more such bootless journeys and although the mutton was wonderful I shall not be doing business with them again.

SAY GOODBYE TO FREE SPEECH

At this moment decisions are being taken in Parliament and laws are being made that will certainly change this country for ever,and not for the better.

I have heard all the arguments in favour of muzzling the press as have you and while I wish there to be no doubt of my heartfelt sadness for the Dowler families loss,I still say the it is better that such things happen a thousand times that to lose our right to read what we want to read and say what we want to say.At the moment we still have a right to be told the truth by the media....but for how long?

Other “celebrities” involved in this despicable piece of legislation I have no sympathy for what ever. When you are in the public eye you become the public’s property, these people like their fame ,its the infamy that worries them. To these bleating celebs I say ,Do you think it fair that we should all lose the freedom for which two World Wars were fought just because you cannot keep your willies in your pants? Prescott,Marr, and the chap who got a blow job in the States,I forget his name,all bitching and whinging because they were found out and the papers wrote about it.

It's pathetic! Government is stirring up peoples emptions about the Milly Dowler case,and the Soham murders both dreadful cases but remember folks that the information was given to the press by corrupt police officers,why are we not hounding them in tot the ground.

We know or we ought to, from past experience that this new law will be abused by Government and by those very Police Officers who have in the past accepted hand outs from the press for information.

Remember the anti terrorism laws brought in under that bible bashing paranoid war criminal Tony Blair. Remember how this law has been abuse over the years. Remember at a Labour party Conference shortly after the law was passed,an eighty four year old Holocaust survivor was grabbed by several loutish bouncers,evicted from the conference hall and arrested by the police....for shouting “Rubbish,rubbish.” at one of the speakers. Since when did heckling a speaker at conference ,or anywhere else become an act of terrorism? Clearly since the introduction of Blair's disgraceful act.

Young people are being pulled off the streets every day for no good reason thanks to this pernicious law,and make no mistake my friends,no one is safe,no one.

I have fought tooth and claw for free speech all my life and I have no intention of stopping now.

I f this new law comes in to being an article such as this could be enough to get me arrested and quite possible jailed. I’m quite serious, it could well happen,if not to me to others who happen to disagree with those in power.

Gag the press, gag the B.B.C. And what do you have....you have newspapers like Pravda, you have television as it is broadcast in North Korea! This legislation is not only telling newspapers what they can write,it is telling you and I what we can read,how soon before they begin to tell us what we can believe?

For Gods sake ,anyone out there reading this think long and hard about exactly what is happening here,think what we all stand to lose. Do not allow a few harrowing cases,no matter how dreadful to side track society into believing that the media must be gagged. No, no way and never.Write to your M.P. write to your newspaper, to any T.V show discussing this issue.

Above all make a noise,make a lot of noise,while you still can!

WILD WEATHER

Last night we said a sad farewell to the golden autumn weather we have been enjoying of late when almost in a blink of the eye the wind got up,the sun disappeared and it became much,much colder.

It was the suddenness which took me by surprise, after feeling chilly when I went to the shops yesterday I spent much of today digging around in cupboards for winter scarves,hats,gloves etc. Sweaters ,Cardigans and woollen cloaks were pulled out of their summer retirement and pressed in to immediate service,along with fur lined boots and Pa's fleece onesies.

I had intended to visit the local hardware shop to purchase a new lavatory seat as ours has come adrift and is positively lethal ,the state of the weather however changed my mind. Rain,rain and more rain....I simply could not be asked. Of course this means that we still have a lavatory seat which performs like a carrousel!

Hopefully by morning the rain will have stopped,if not I shall have to brave the elements after all, still, there is one lovely thing about going out in bad weather and that is.......coming back home to a hot chocolate and a warm cosy house.......Always look on the bright side of life,di do,di do di do di do!

ORDERS ARE ORDERS

No I have n't joined the armed forces,although sometimes this place is a bit of a battlefield,no, today O girded up my loins and placed this quarters meat order with my Grimsby butcher and at the same time ordered my Christmas meats!

I am of the conviction that this is a task which cannot be left until the last moment,particularly if one wants good quality at a reasonable price. The bulk of my order will arrive next Tuesday morning ,the Christmas goodies will arrive on Christmas Eve.

This would normally pose a problem for me as while my son was working in the media we often had to eat our Christmas Dinner a day or two before The day. This year the only problem it creates is that I shall not receive our large cockerel in time for the pre Christmas feast I had been planning.

I shall either change the menu,or make it a New Year revel instead,either way if will be fun,I love cooking up a feast for these special guests.

My preserve making is almost done,just another batch of Apple and Thyme Jelly and a batch of mixed berry preserve,if all goes well; at the moment I cannot tell from day to day or even hour to hour how I will be feeling. Damn these blasted pills!!!!!!!

One thing is certain ,my countdown to Christmas is in full swing,cards,tags,ribbons and bows all await their respective package. Many presents have already arrived,some of them months ago!

I love Christmas far too much to wish to spend it stressed and unhappy, flying about at the last minute. It takes time to make the magic, truly,time is far more important than money when it comes to making a lovely Christmas.

There is one more thing, nothing cures a bad case of Christmasitis in young children faster than helping mummy to make gift tags,cards or neared the time home made sweets as gifts for friends,for there is sure to be a little left over,or a bowl to scrape. I have put this to the test many times...it has never failed me yet.

I want to enjoy all of Christmas,not just the day, making the preparations as a family make the season last much longer,long enough to really get in to the spirit of things, long enough for the warm glow to last throughout the cold dark days to come. And don't forget the memories,as I grow older I find them so very precious,make as many happy ones as you can and treasure them up,believe me they never fade,if anything the passing of the years adds a soft gleam to them which lasts long after the sparkle and the tinsel have gone.

Avie's Busy Day...

Avie's had a very busy day today, and has gone to bead early - normal service tomorrow...

WHO POISONED THE RIVER,AND WHAT IS THE POISON?

The continuing saga of the pollution of the River Crane becomes more difficult to believe as each day passes. As I may have mentioned this is the second time in as many years that this lovely little river,the haunt of kingfishers,water rats and heron has been poisoned to death!

Poisoned to death. That describes exactly what has been done,quite wilfully by local industry, these were no accidental spills they were the result of what these companies laughingly call “Damage limitation” ,a money saving exercise and what is entirely dreadful is the fact that the law allows this to happen. Oh ,it does not sanction such actions to be sure,what it does is to ensure that any fines levied upon companies which transgress are so ridiculously small that it is easy for those in charge to discharge what ever toxic matter they please ,whenever it is expedient for them to do so. This racket must cease!

When we hear that a company has discharge effluvium in to a clean river and wiped pout all the wild life we know there will be an enquires. If these companies are proved culpable they are fined,some times tens and occasionally hundreds of thousands of pounds,it seems to the lay man like a lot of money and they believe that justice has been served. Not so!

The whole pantomime is a sop, thrown to a concerned public in order that these despicable people may continue to do as they please. The large sum of money set aside two years ago by Heathrow to those who's care it is to restore life to the river,has not yet been turned over to them so that work can begin in earnest.

Now some might say that in light of this latest discharge that is as well,the truth is that while the Local Authority and various interested parties argue about what is to e done...nothing is done.

No steps taken to protect the river from such events...nothing.

Now here is a strange coincidence, in the late afternoon of the day before the spill I received a call from one of our members informing me that the river was unusually low. Since there has not been any unusually dry weather we assumed that for some reason the river had been dammed further upstream. Although it was still officially office hours if was also a Friday and so the P.O.E.T.S day rule was in force meaning of course that every one had left work early...as usual!

Next morning the river was in full spate again,which is odd in itself, it was in full spate and full of toxic waste. So bad was the contamination that people and animals were becoming ill after breathing in the fumes that were given off. I can vouch for the fact that it was awful stuff to breath.

The river turned black and by Sunday a seven mile stretch of the river was considered dangerous ,parks through which it ran were close I believe and by this time dead fish were to be seen everywhere.

At this moment we still do not know the nature of the poison as we are told that the area is too toxic at present. When I explain that this river runs though pretty housing estates full of children,it runs past school, also filled with children it is surprising that,in light of the severity of the incident these places have not been evacuated. The truth is that there are still many areas where there is no signage to warn unsuspecting residents that there is a problem.

On the First day of the spill my son was obliged to inform those in charge of the matter that the river ran within a few feet of a children’s play ground.....they had no idea that this was the case,I find that unacceptable.

There may well be a desire to underplay the seriousness of this matter and that s despicable when there are lives at risk.

The authorities should be protecting the environment and the people who live along the river rather that protecting the dubious reputations on those who have caused this mess.

Ten years ago Mogden Lane Sewerage Plant discharged thousands of gallons of effluent directly in to the Thames a mile or so from where I live. The site off twenty pound mirror carp floating dead amidst hundreds of other fish was dreadful. There are now almost no Eels left in the Thames due to this disaster.

Has anything been done to prevent such a disaster from happening again, no it has not.

It is well past time that Government sharpened up its Legislative Pitch fork and shoved it squarely in to the backsides of those who wilfully destroy so much and if they will not.

Well then, we should sharpen up our own act and kick the whole useless lot of them out of office,and the sooner the better.