Moth's Home!!!

Moth got back from the vet's today, and is up and about like nothing has happened – for which relief much thanks. Avie, I fear, is out for the count, however; it's been a very long day.

Normal Service To Be Resumed Tomorrow,

Son of Avie

MISSING MOTH

As soon as I awoke this morning I was aware of a sense of dread, the reason for which I was , at first unable to comprehend,but as the blissful fog of sleep thinned and vanished away the grim reality of my situation began to loom large. This day, the day the cat was to be neutered,the day I had been dreading for weeks had arrived!

Breakfast was more subdued than usual as we were all dreading the events to come,my son because he is a soft hearted soul and adores the little minx,Pa because he hates the idea of us being unhappy and myself; because as the person elected to get the cat in to her carried I knew fine well that by nightfall I would be in tatters! I still carry the scars from her last trip to the vets for injections.

I could settle to nothing, all day I wandered around the hose occasionally bumping in top my son who was even worse than I. Just as I began to feel that time had stood still and five O clock would never come a friend arrived with a huge bag of green gooseberries in need of being dealt with,a job I normally dislike. Today I pounced upon the carrier bag full of fruit with glee and soon the rhythmic snipping of tops and tails lulled my trouble mind and my thoughts wandered far for the days trouble.

Throughout the day the cat in question had viewed us with suspicion and seemed to sense that something was afoot.........the time arrived for the dreaded deed to be done, put on heavy duty trousers, a thick parka and a pair of leather gloves and went forth.

The identical moment my son went to get the carrier she knew what was coming and began to cower in a ,corner of the bathroom, my heats smote me as I looked into her terrified eyes. It was pointless to tell myself that it was for her good,I felt like the Judas which her eyes accused me of being.

Wonder of wonders, I caught her with no difficulty and got her in to the carrier at the first attempt! After a small protest she discovered the tuna fish loin left in the carrier as and enticement,ate the morsel the curled up on an old t shirt of my sons and awaited with patience what was to come.

A short taxi ride to the vet,an examination and then my son left her and came sadly home,alone.

Of course we all know that what is being done is for her good but believe me a heart of stone would be needed to withstand the pleading look on that scared little face as the door of the carrier closed on her.

We are already planning the welcome home tomorrow,her favourite treats, a fur rug and the biggest and best cuddle a cat ever had.

Twiggy has searched the bedrooms several times and is now sitting miserably on the landing,Harry too is disconsolate,we are in fact a sorry set of miseries tonight.

Tomorrow,it will all be over and we shall have our smallest and sweetest little cat at home again,it cannot come too soon.

DIFFERENT FOR GIRLS

You know how it is? There I was flitting about on u tube,listen to a few songs,leave a few comments, I never know where I'll end up, well last night I ended up listening to the one and only, the very talented Joe Jackson.

It was so long ago I had almost forgotten how good he sounded,he made it sound so easy,mellow,I think that's what I mean. My favourite was and still is “Different for girls” it was the sound of the decade for me and an interesting part of my life played out with this song somewhere in the background.

As I listened it was almost as if I was watching a video of myself as I was over thirty years ago.It was a time of excitement, intense happiness and just as intense heart wrenching pain. In fact it seems to me that we all spend most of our adult lives in one of those states or another.

Before I realised it I was visiting places in my mind that I had avoided ,with grim determination for years.

None of this is at all relevant to what I wish to say,and don't ask me what I was thinking about because I shan't tell!”

What I really wanted to say is that while reading the comments on the site I was visiting I realised that,as the song says “You're all the same” men that is,now as then. If you want to know what I mean watch the clip and read the comments,honestly ,flippin' fella's!

HOME ALONE!

It certainly does take all sorts to make a world and we are told that every thing and everyone has a purpose under heaven. I have often wondered what purpose is served by mosquito, except perhaps to remind you not to loiter about in bosky places in the evening.

On this glorious summer afternoon ,the drowsy sound of a thousand grasshoppers was lulling me into a gentle doze when the air was rent by the sound of motor bikes,several motorbikes. Confused I opened my eyes....they were not in the garden though they sounded very close, I listened for a moment more the sound was coming from the graveyard behind the house.

The graveyard is an old one in which there have been no burials for almost two hundred years,those who read my ramblings regularly will know how long and hard the fight has been to have this lovely spot left undisturbed for the wild life …...and now we have a bunch of young tykes stooging around on scrambling bikes ,driving trough the undergrowth and terrifying the animals and birds.

My son had gone for a stroll,Pa was out on the buggy(we only have one now,mine has had to be scrapped) so I was effectively grounded and alone. I telephoned my son....no reply.......I telephoned Pa...............ditto...........now what?

Earlier in the day I had been collecting windfalls under the apple tree and had noticed that many of them were rotten and mushy,I grabbed a bucket and went to collect some ammo! The hose was running gently on a patch of greens, I turned up the pressure at the tap,adjusted the setting on the hose and ,behold...a water cannon.

I waited until I heard the bikes coming round again and as they drew level with the orchard I let them have the hose at full blast,I still could not see the little blighter’s but By the sound they were making I knew I had got' em. They yelled and screamed as the torrent of icy water hit them head on. They were angry,they wanted to know what was going on, I put down the hose and picked up the bucket of rotten fruit and as the first head appeared over the orchard wall I let fly a storm of decaying apples,from the cries of dismay I suspect that quite a few found their mark.

Now some of you my think my behaviour foolhardy and perhaps you are right. Had the buggy been available I should have confronted them in person,even more foolhardy,I hear you say.

Unfortunately I had seen the red mist and there can be no half measures once my ire has been thus aroused, it is a family failing ,inherited from my father, and has,in the past brought both fame and infamy upon the family.

All I care about is that my actions stopped further damage and the tykes on bikes departed worsted from the field and wet through into the bargain. Will they return with vengeance in their craven hearts? Who can say? Should they choose to do so they will be met with such determined force that they will wish they had the water cannon back again, beside the fact that I recognised the voices of the little pests and they are very possibly worrying if I will grass them up to their parents,even as I write. I shall not do so....this time. But should such a thing happen again......who knows?

Pa arrived home just as the rain began to fall,this meant that I had to forgo what used to be my daily ride,I miss my own little buggy, I miss the freedom.

LANDLORD TROUBLE

I may in the past have mentioned that ,my house belongs to a titled gentleman from the North of England,and that this part of the estate is run by a rare bunch of corporate numpties with whom I have ,on occasion found myself at odds.

Expressions concerning drunken merrymaking in a brew house fall far short of describing the antics of these individuals.

We are, after a good deal of pressure on my part to have a new gas hob (the old on is dangerous), new work surfaces(the old ones are full of holes) and a new sink(the old one leaks) OK so far.

Next comes the question of where they work tops are to be made? Well of course you would expect them to be made in the estate workshop which is fitted out with all the right equipment,jig saws,circular saws and work benches, you would be wrong.

The Estate Manager wants to have them made.......in my small kitchen! No space. No proper tools and no workbench......no brainer!

Who is to make them? Well of course you would expect them to be made by the Estate carpenter,a highly skilled individual who could polish off the entire job in a day. Wrong again. The Estate Manager wants to have them made by a new recruit,known already as Superman as he professes to be able to do everything....unfortunately he has no qualifications in anything other than world class bull shitting at which he knows no peer!

In the few months he has been here he has brought down two ceilings, blown up the electrics (oh he knows all about electrics....unfortunately he is colour blind) and tried to fit a long mirror over a wide dado rail with disastrous results! These you understand are very much edited highlights.

The gas hob will be fitted by a company who deals with all the gas appliances on the estate,fine ,but will these same people be asked to do the plumbing on the new sink and the reconnecting of other pipe work,no! Even though they are a firm of plumbers, so that the same man could do the job,no!

Instead,Superman(who has a rudimentary knowledge of plumbing )has been designated to do the job, and to make matters worse ,he will not be free to ruin my kitchen for several weeks!

Needless to say I have pointed out the obvious problems which will ensue should the Estate manager prevail. Instead of the tops being prepared in advance and fitted on the same day that the gas hob and sink are connected ,it could well take several days for the armature joiner to deal with the job. Instead of the old work surfaces being replaced right away their will be a long delay while Superman makes them without the aid of the proper tools and on a rickety workmate either in my kitchen or out on the yard.

The situation is ludicrous, but fear not gentle reader, I have already delivered a broadside which will I hope score a direct hit and scupper their stupid attempt to cause trouble,for make no mistake that is their sole intent.

If all goes according to plan the gentlemen in question may find that they have difficulty in sitting down in the not too far distant future.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

The cat Moth,who has for several days been absent without leave returned late last night,very late indeed,so late that we were on the verge of turning in for the night.

Shortly before she appeared there came from the orchard a horrendous caterwauling,so blood chillingly awful that my hair stood on end. Quite a feat since I have very long hair.

Within a few moments Moth appeared on the garden wall, she gazed disconsolately in to next doors garden and at first refused to acknowledge us and ignored all our blandishments. Tired as I was I became bored with the entire proceedings and took myself off upstairs where I fashioned ,from an old toy spider and some nylon fishing line a tempting toy to attract the attention of the little baggage.

Dangling a fake spider out of an upstairs window in the small hours is not my idea of fun and I must say I was glad that we have no neighbours at the read of the house to look upon my peculiar activities and wonder if I have lost my mind.

Now you must know that Moth has a thing about spiders,ever since she caught one in the shower she has spent most of her waking life searching for more of these savoury little treats. Yuk!

She spotted the spider at once and soon after was sitting in her accustomed place having munched her way though a total of three pouches of cat food.

My son,who has not been himself since she decided to go rogue was happy again,I was happy that he was happy,Pa was happy.....Twiggy however was distinctly dis-chuffed!

Finally at a ridiculously late hour we all went to bed,my son slept like a tired child,Pa slept,snoring like a chainsaw,even I managed a couple of hours before being awaked by a rain storm of epic proportion,the water in the lane was so high that I noted with satisfaction the fact that both the dingy and it's oars were easily to hand(living by a river one never knows) and could be deployed if necessary.

For several hours the rain continued so fall in torrents,hissing as it passed the window,pattering on the leaves of the trees outside my room and gurgling merrily in the drainpipes. I lay cosy in my bed,the cat Moth beside the bed in my armchair,occasionally she opened her eyes, gave a little sigh of pleasure the went back to sleep.

I did not sleep again but it did not matter,I was warm drowsy and very happy indeed.

Of course I paid the price of wakefulness this morning, I was deathly tired. I made pikelets for breakfast then baked eight loaves before collapsing in yo a heap.

Now I am watching the white clouds scudding by and listening to the starlings squabbling over food,I fell that it would be all to easy to fall asleep. Soon I shall go downstairs to the kitchen to prepare our dinner. Cold chicken,|Cray fish, Serrano ham,cheeses,salad from the garden and fresh crusty bread baked this morning. This, followed by orange lavender cake (made yesterday) served with vanilla iced cream.should be the perfect meal for three tired people on a hot and sticky day.

I am so looking forward to a quiet relaxed evening......tomorrow I shall tell you if I got one!

THE VANISHING MOTH

My son's cat Moth,having been booked in to the vet's to be neutered,jumped out of an upstairs window the night before the op,this as I mentioned before cause the postponement of her operation until next Tuesday. Old Robbie Burns with his “best laid plans”hit the nail on the head in this case for the little madam,has,in spite of being on the pill,come in to season and is refusing to come back in doors.

Instead she is prowling the grounds advertising her condition to every randy Tom cat in the Parish. This unexpected turn of events has caused considerable trouble,initially we were worried that she had run away but it soon became apparent that she was simply out on the town!

Nature will always find a way and Moth seems determined to have a litter of kittens, we only hope that if she does there will not be the same problems as before. She is such a tiny cat, it seems likely that she will again have difficulty giving birth.

We have one small glimmer of hope,Harry. Harry is our neighbours ginger Tom cat and a constant visitor to our house and gardens. He has claimed territorial rights over our house,our gardens and,it seems our cats. He has made such a fine job of scent marking every blade of grass, gate and fence post on the place that we have not seen another Tom cat in months.

The other encouraging fact is that he has been neutered,so although still capable of mating his is,as it were, firing blanks!

We shall hope for the best, and give Harry as much encouragement as possible,easy enough as he is such a likeable rogue,in the mean time ,what will be ,will be.

Sales of my sons books are still exceeding all projected figures and he is,of course very happy about it,yet such is his modesty that he keeps expecting sales to tale off. I would wager that with the second book out and five star revues still coming in that will not happen for quite some time.

A good friend told me today that she has just discovered that her mother has terminal cancer and has not long to live. With my recent concern for my own mother still rife in my mind I could not help but wonder what or who decides which one lives and which does not.

My grateful thanks to which ever of the Gods decided that my mother should be spared this time.

MAYFLIES ?

Regular readers will have observed that now and again out my dusty old soap box and have a good old rant about something or another, well today,well today I not only dusted it off,I gave it a coat of new paint for the occasion!

Listening to last nights news I learned that assess to on line pornography is to be banned over the next couple of years. This we are told is in order to prevent Paedophiles from watching child abuse on line. On the face of it this is a good thing..but look a little deeper and you will see that this legislation is not as it seems.

If as the article suggested this is to be done by the banning of certain search terms then you and I know that the serious pervert will find other terms in order to access the pornography of his or her choice and while it will certainly prevent or at least discourage most people from viewing (recreationally0 it will not prevent or deter paedophiles from doing what they do

Secondly,and this is important, we are told that these measures will prevent children from gaining access to sites with pornographic content. With the amount of harmful information available on line these day, including how to commit suicide,how to make a bomb, and how to perpetrate a wide variety of cheats,it will be impossible to safe guard our children from imbibing harmful views,such as radicalisation while they surf the net.

It must and should be the responsibility of the parents to ensure that their offspring are safe on line.

If we follow government logic on the subject of pornography we will soon find than many other sites are being banned”for our own good”.

So having made most people believe that what they are doing is for their good ,what is actually happening is the gradual erosion of free speech, and many people will vote for this, by the time they realise what has happened it will be too late.

Freedom of speech is exactly what it says on the tin. It is the freedom to say what you believe and although I would be that last person in the world to condone the abuse of children ,I believe that to use this issue to trick people into voting away their civil liberty is an act of extreme cynicism.

In order to maintain these freedoms which are the envy of the whole world we must occasionally hear thing with which we do not agree,even things which may disgust us,that is the price of free speech, and we must not lose sight of the fact.

I am aware that I am playing devils advocate here and may well alienate many of my readers ,this is the truth as I see it, that is all.

I do not in any way agree with the British Nationalist Party's racist mouthing s but I would defend with my life their right to their own opinion. To do otherwise would be the same as voting to be gagged myself.

This government,and others in the past have made many attempts to curb freedom of speech among other of our civil liberties by manipulating public opinion against, newspapers, trade unions,religious groups and in my day students. I have been fighting for civil liberty since I was fifteen and shall continue to do so no matter what.

We must and should take responsibility for the safety of our children ,online or in the street,they are OUR CHILDREN...there's the clue!

Last night I heard a cabinet minister insisting that the viewing of pornography on line is robbing our children of their chi;d hood., but is this true. A performance of just about any scantily clad sweaty gyrating female pop star,worshipped as role models by young girls is much more likely to be seen by then on line that a pornographic film ,.

We have all seen tiny girls dressed in an adult and frankly provocative fashion,who is buying their clothes?Their parents. Do we then include the likes of Beyonce and the rest of the dump and grind girls in the ban? Well do we? How far can this be taken?

Recently I met the daughter of an old friend our with her mates,there were six of then and all but one were accompanied by a small child in a buggy. Not one of them was older than seventeen and several were not even sixteen. They became pregnant not through watching porn films but through sheer simple ignorance,such as “you cannot become pregnant while on your period”.” You can only become pregnant if your partner comes inside you” The list of these old wives tales is endless and it is what young people believe.

These girls have been robbed of a good deal more that their childhood,they have been robbed of their lives! As I watched then trundle of in to the distance they made me think of May flies. These lovely creatures hatch out,fly for one glorious summer day then their wings fall off and they die.

They grow up feeling that their only value is in being thought “sexy”by boys and “fashionable” by other girls,and I am afraid that many parents inadvertently encourage this erroneous belief.

Poor little creatures their lives are over before they have even begun,ignorance is the scourge of these teenage mothers and their sexual partners,let us address this ignorance first and foremost for it is this which robs our children of their right to grow up at the proper pace.

FIREWORKS,

Moth decided to stay out last nigh,on the face of it a good thing since it meant that she would not be prowling around upstairs all nigh waking us up. In the event it was Twiggy who prowled about all night looking for the absent Moth,until she was finally evicted by me in the early hours.

Then came the thunderstorm crashing directly over the roof of the house and complete with awe inspiring pyrotechnics and torrential rain. Within moments the lane was a river as the rain lashed down and the thunder continued frighteningly loud.

Having given up any hope of sleep my son and I made coffee and settled down to watch the storm,it was than that we saw Moth,drenched to the skin halfway up a trencher mouth moving in pathetic mews’s which we could not hear.

Having driven us crazy to be let out she was mighty glad to get back in again, she had, I suspect,climbed the tree in order to be level with our bedroom windows. The rescue party set out and in a short time the wettest,most miserable little cat you ever saw streaked in through the back door,fled past the watchful Twiggy and straight upstairs where she sat at once upon a white fur rug in order to dry herself off. Typical!

The second of my son's books in the “Alamo” series went on sale in the early hours of the morning and as we rubbed our eyes and drank our second coffee the first sales reports began to arrive. The book had made an encouraging start and sales of its predecessor continued to do very well.

For a few hours the excitement of the new book kept the adrenalin flowing but as the day progressed and the heat built up we all began to flag. For me,today’s weather and last nights sleeplessness was the last straw and I was obliged to lie down as quite literally I could not stand up.

The boys were both tired too and we all spent the afternoon sitting amidst a barrage of fans, which did little to quell the heat.

Throughout the day the news about the imminent birth of the Royal Baby became more and more inane,hoards of re[porters asked the same stupid questions of the same stupid people and my heart went out to the young woman who was struggling to bring in to the world the cause of all the fuss.

We ate an early dinner,a quick stir fry of chicken ,cashews,vegetables and noodles,which took minutes to make after which we helped ourselves liberally to the fruit bowl and a fine sweet melon which had been chilling in the fridge.

As I write the shadows are lengthening in the lane and a pony and trap has just gone by, it is by no means any cooler but somehow the dimming of the suns glare makes the heat more kind. My sons latest book released this morning is selling very well ,living up to it,s early morning promise.

We,as a family are,after many storms and buffets ,in calm waters. While this safe and settled feeling lasts I mean to enjoy every moment, I mean to let the happiness of these days wrap itself around me and my family,for the moment all is well,tomorrow can shift for it's self.

ZOMBIES R US !

Throughout last night and well into the early hours of this morning the antics of the cat Moth made sleep impossible .She howled,she growled, she stamped about, ran up and down the stairs,fell out with Twiggy and no one could tell why.

She is healthy,well fed, spoiled rotten and has her own way in all things,as a rule she is reasonably well behaved for her age but last night....................................!

When she was in she wanted to be pout,when she was out she wanted to be in,it was a truly dreadful night and a one point I fell asleep standing up and fell over. Then I fell asleep sitting on my bed,fell off the bed and really hurt my knee.

The result of all these merry junketing s was three zombie like creatures stumbling about the house and two disgruntled moggies,none of us were fit to be seen. We staggered downstairs for a breakfast of pancakes which I made while on automatic pilot,remarkably the pancakes were edible,in spite of the fact that for half the time the gas was switched off,every time the auto pilot kicked in,to be precise!

All the days plans were shelved at and emergency meeting during breakfast, when we decided that it would be safer if mowers,strimmers and electric drills were not used by the zombies (ourselves).

|Throughout the day the cats remained pestiferous,but in spite of this we managed to have a rather nice day so tired that we were relaxed to the point of unconsciousness, even now I am having trouble focusing my eyes, all I can say is thank The Gods for the back key!

Steps,recommended at this morn9ongs emergency meeting of the family cabinet, will be put in to operation tonight. It is to be a fine night,but just in case I have opened up Th small tool shed and paced inside a cardboard box,I have also left a waterproof cat house out in the garden so that if they must howl they can do it at a distance.

I just hope it works, another night with put sleep could be disastrous.

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

There can seldom be days such as this one has been for me,a day when I had no burden of anxiety to weigh on my spirits,a day when I did not care at all about the petty niggles of everyday.

Today all that mattered was that my mother was well and my son was happy,he even managed to have a game with the redoubtable Dungeoneers,which he had though he would be unable to attend,due to his cat's operation.

I got in to bed last night a few minutes after posting my blog and the next thing I knew it was one thirty. My son and I had coffee together and discussed the days affairs before returning to bed where I slept like a log until five. I awoke to feel a cool breeze from the open window and spent a pleasant hour just lazing about enjoying the feeling of being cool for a change.

Breakfast, made by my son was a treat and once he and his friends had departed I cleared up the kitchen and set off for the shops,really I just fancied a jaunt in the fresh air.

All day there has been a sense almost of unreality,so many worries which had occupied my mind for so long no longer exist,it was almost as if I did not know what to think about.................and it was lovely.

I made a batch of tomato and mustard soda farls for dinner and served them hot from the oven with grilled vine tomatoes and lots of dry cured bacon,perfect for a warm evening.

My son's book sales continue to rise and now I can enjoy his success with my whole heart which is what he deserves from me. The odd thing is we all feel the air of unreality,it is as if we are all having the same dream,it is such a splendid one that I hope we never wake up.

THE BEST NEWS IN THE WORLD

I heard this afternoon that my dear,lovely wonderful mother does not have cancer after all. After all the weeks and months of worry the feeling of relief is overwhelming,especially for her.

She does have a few health problems but none of them are life threatening and the possibility of a small operation in the future is something more easily faced by all than that which we had feared for so long.

I cried with relief when I heard, all the weeks of pent up emotion came out in a rush,we all had a good cry and were all the better for it.

Mum is now looking forward to getting her first computer and I am looking forward to being able to see her when we talk,I cannot begin to tell how happy am ,and how very thankful .I am shaking as I write. Somehow the fine summer weather has seemed at odds with my troubled mind. Almost mocking my fear...now the sun can do as it likes, my mum is well my son is a success and both are deliriously happy,I ask for no more.

Finally before I go to celebrate I must tell you that the cat Moth did not get taken to the vet to be neutered this morning and I did not get scratched to pieces. The reason for this miracle is that in the early hours of the morning she became suspicious at the accidental sight of her carry box and jumped..yes jumped ...from my sons bedroom window into the garden and has refused to return to the house since.

How she managed such a leap without doing herself some hurt is a mystery to me, she is fit and very active,also very suspicious. Another appointment has been made and I must be more circumspect about things next time.

I am so very happy,so very relived, and so very thankful that all is well in my small world again.

I wish that everyone could be as happy as I am tonight.  

MINT SORBET AND LAVENDER SYLLABUB

                                           

Cooking is a taste of purgatory in the current heat wave and even if you take the trouble to cook ,the chances are no one will want to eat. Here are a couple of my favourites in hot weather,they are adapted from old English recipes and are perfect for sultry days.

MINT SORBET

6 large sprigs of mint

3oz caster sugar

half a pint of water

the juice of a large lemon

1 egg white

a few tiny sprigs of mint to decorate

Wash the mint and shake it dry. Put the sugar and water in a pan and boil until the sugar has dissolved,then drop in the mint,cover the pan and turn off the heat.

St and for twenty minutes to allow the mint to infuse then taste. If you think the flavour is not strong enough,bring the liquid to the boil again then turn off the heat and stand for a further ten minute....this should do the trick.

When the flavour is strong enough,strain the liquid in to a rigid container, add half the lemon juice and leave to cool. Next refrigerate the mixture until the sorbet is half frozen.

Beat the egg white until it is stiff then fold it in to the sorbet and freeze until the mixture forms a firm mush.

To serve spoon into glasses and decorate with the small sprigs of mint.

LAVENDER SYABUB

This lovely summery dish has its roots in the past and over the years it has changes very little,try this if you want to impress.

4 fl oz water

4 large heads of fresh lavender

4 oz caster sugar

juice of half a lemon

12 fl oz double cream

3 tablespoon dry white wine

Boil the water and pour on to the lavender and leave to infuse for twenty minutes.

Strain the lavender water and pour in to a small saucepan,add the sugar and bring the syrup to the boil. Continue boiling for 1 minute. Cool the syrup ,pour in to a deep bowl and ad the lemon juice and wine.

Using a hand whisk slowly add the cream to the wine mixture and beat until a the mixture forms soft peaks.

Spoon in to glasses and stand in a cool place until needed

Serve with crisp thin biscuits.

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS?

After a sleepless night my anxiety about my Mothers health was at fever pitch. I got up early to bake our bread then prepared a breakfast of pancakes and lemon,all the time waiting for the telephone to ring...it did not ring.

I had some errands to run and set off immediately after breakfast all the while expecting a call... nothing. I took a cold shower and dried myself in the cold air blown from my bedroom fan,I could stand the suspense no longer,took a deep breath and called home.

The answer phone took the call at first and just as |I was about to hang up my mother picked up the receiver,she had,she told me been in the garden playing with her little dog. She sounded cheerful and chatted about everything except the one thing I wanted to know about, I could wait no longer and asked if she had heard fro the Doctor.

She too had waited in suspense and had at last made the fateful call, the receptionist said that the results were in, then she asked if my mother wanted to see her doctor....if so it would have to be Friday as he was going away for a few weeks. Nonplussed my mother made an appointment...and that was it.

We chatted for ages and joked about family events,I was able to tell her that my son's latest book is now being advertised by Amazon as a “must read” for sci fi fans..and it is at the top of their list of recommended good reads. She was so pleased and proud,as are we all,his sales figures are climbing steadily,his reviews are all good and already people are pre ordering the next book in the series.

I was glad to have this news for her and even more glad not to have bad news to break to my son when he returned from an appointment with his own G.P. Of course we now have to wait on tenterhooks until Friday.......Friday,,,,the day I have to stuff the cat into a carry box for a trip to the vets....Friday.....I shall be a happy woman when Friday has come and gone1

WAITING FOR NEWS

The heat is not all that is oppressing our family today,tomorrow my mother gets the result of her scan,and I am finding the suspense unbearable, not for myself,but for my mother. They have warned her that they suspect cancer,and although she is being very optimistic and very brave I know what this is doing to her.

I called her yesterday and she was full of interest in my sons doings and asked after each of us ,and all the while my heart was breaking,In that moment I would have given my soul to be able to hug her and kiss her dear face.

I know I do not sound it but I too am optimistic as it is some months since the doctor first broached the subject and from what my mother has told me she feels well,looks well and is eating well.

For months now my mind has been chanting the mantra “Mum is going to be OK. Mum is going to be OK”I fall asleep saying it and when I awake it is usually my first thought.

Thirty years ago my Father died of cancer,he was fifty six years old and had always been fit and strong, watching him slowly lose that strength until he was as dependant as a baby was terrible,I remember every day of it,and so does my mother.

I cannot be there to see her,I can do nothing to help,I cannot even give her the hug she needs so badly and which I so badly need to give. I cannot bear the thought of what tomorrow might bring.

Pa is poorly today he has been asleep for the most part, he is in pain when he awakes and seems to be confused,all I can do is let him rest and give him fluids and his medication.

I dread tomorrow and yet at least we shall know for sure what we are up against,.

How typical of life to temper the happiness of my sons success with the anxiety over my dear mothers health,she is so proud of her grandson ,and he loves her in return. Everything hinges on tomorrow.

Cross your fingers for her and your toes, please.

P.S

Tonight,my son finished the third novel in his new series and celebrated with a large shot of Rum. What ever happens tomorrow I know my Mum will be proud of her clever grandson.

PASTA SALAD IN A HURRY

I expect that I have in the past made mention of my son's fondness for chicken, his preference eventually cause Pa to stage an open revolt “Before” he said, he sprouted feathers!

I to had eaten chicken far too often and so ,for a time chicken was struck from or culinary role of honour............but not for long.

Apart from a liking for chicken my son had and intense dislike of beef.lamb.pork or any kind of fish,this presented me with a problem and gradually chicken returned to the weekly menus and in order to please Pa it was often necessary to prepare two different meals at dinner time. This was a right royal pain in the parsons nose!

Happily these days my son enjoys beef and lamb occasionally.lovres pork and will even eat fish providing it has been squished in to a fish cake or blunged in to a pasta sauce …..still it is progress.

Today I had promised my son his favourite dish of Chicken Pomadori,a recipe of my own, not daring to present this hated dish to Pa I made for us cold pasta salad which we both love.

Cold cooked penne

4 oz strong cheddar diced  (use fresh mozzarella for a lighter dish)

2 oz walnuts chopped

12 cherry tomatoes halved

2 red sweet apples diced

juice of 1 lemon

4 tablespoons of green pesto,home made is best

2 tablespoons of olive oil

salt and fresh ground black pepper

1 tablespoon of mayonnaise or crème fraich

Place all the ingredients in a large bowl and mix until well coated with the pesto and crème fraich. Chill for an hour and serve.

This salad can be as varied as the number of ingredients in your kitchen,can be made the night before it is needed and makes a great picnic dish.

A PERFECT SUMMER SUNDAY

Of all the hopes and dreams I had for my son when he took the leap of faith and became a full time writer was the hope that we would have more time for fun. Life seemed to have become a dreary round of work and sleep for us all. Today that dream came true.

We woke a little late,no problem, we took our time over a breakfast of fresh cooked scotch crumpets served with cream and strawberry jam and by the time the meal was over my son had sold another dozen books.

The sun was hot but a light breeze tempered the heat and all in all it was the perfect day for one of the high spots of the year in Avie's Small World,the church fête. In times past we would always be away at weekends,either to the downs or to the coast but now Pa is unable to drive and neither of us can walk far we never go on pleasure trips. That is what makes this event so important to us,and for the first time in years,my son was able to come with us.

My son's escape from the daily slavery of his former job has likewise released me from a bleak sort of drudgery which was the cause of much unhappiness for me,today we celebrated our freedom.

During the course of the morning I discovered ,to may joy that our bumble bee house had ,at last some bees in residence and my delight knew no bounds upon finding the leaf cutter bee house also in use.

The fête was the best ever with a really good jazz band and lots of very cold beer and best of all stalls full of lovely bits of bric-a-brac to trawl through while chatting to old friends. There never was a summer day more perfect nor a summer Sunday so happily spent. Amidst a mass of plaster animals I unearthed a Beswick Chaffinch,beautifully modelled with an asking price of thirty pence, I told the stall that it was worth much more but in the end all she would take was a pound so I bought lots and lots of raffle tickets from her .

We trundled merrily home laden with antique hat boxes, a silver tray,a huge flower arrangement in a gorgeous jug,cuddly toy for the children of our acquaintance,books,cards home made marmalade and a dozen other treasures. The sun slanted over the fields and the shadows lengthened as we ate our dinner in a kitchen where all the windows and the door were open to welcome in the cool evening air.

Loath to see the end of such a perfect day I went for a last ride out in to the lane where the air was fragrant with the scent of millions of tiny lime flowers. Moths were abundant and so were bats,flitting silently between the trees at the start of their nights hunting. It was cooler than indoors where the heat retained in the ancient brickwork still made the house uncomfortably warm. On my return home I discovered that I had won a raffle prize,a large tin of biscuits, it was a lovely surprise.

The sound of the jazz band still throbs out its beat and the smell of a barbecue is drifting through the trees. Our little cat moth is still hunting spiders in the orchard and Twiggy is stretched out on the cool kitchen floor tiles,even the redoubtable Harry is lying prone among the cat mint,worn out with a days play.

These are such insignificant things and yet to me they are the root of happiness, comfortable homely things which speak of family and friends,laughter and fun. Today has banished my sadness of a few days ago,and now as darkness falls I realise even more keenly how much I have to be thankful for.....and thankful I am to the centre of my soul for such a perfect day.

BIG GAME HUNTING ....AFTER DARK

During the daylight hours my son's little cat Moth is for the most part a well behaved good natured little creature,of modest needs and good habits;but once darkness falls she becomes a quite different creature.

She spends most of the day fast asleep in one roost or another and causes no trouble,but oh boy does she make up for it at night. Take last night for an instance, she prowled around the upper story in search of spiders,moths or beetles,then,disgruntled at having found nothing better to play with proceeded to ave a very noisy game on the landing with a pair of squeaky mice and a large stuffer rat! Eventually all three had been thrown to the foot of the stairs and here moth will no longer venture,below stairs is Twiggy country!

Much mournful howling induced me at length to get out of bed and collect the lost treasures ,then having restored them to the cat I returned,bleary eyed to my disturbed sleep. But not for long, all three were soon at the foot of the stairs again this time in the company of a large hairy spider toy,once again I obliged.

At last I slept a little ,I know this because my son told me this morning that I was talking in my sleep (a dangerous habit) while punching my mattress with much seeming aggression! Hmm!

Now it was my sons turn to play the fool for half an hour at the court of Queen Moth!

I awoke to find the cat howling directly into my ear,she was hungry,I produced a pouch of very expensive cat food(madam has acquired expensive tastes of late) which she sniffed with disdain and flounced off without touching the stuff. “Blow and botheration” I said,or words to that effect as I staggered back to my neglected and much yearned for bed.

A little later on a routine visit to the bathroom......well when you get to my age......... I discovered the cat with a large hairy spider the which she had cornered in the shower cubicle. Whooopi! That should keep her quiet for an hour or so..................but no.......the blasted spider basely scuttled off behind the loo,which obliged me to get up in a hurry and by the time I had collected myself their was no sign of the fearsome beast.

The effect of this mishap was twofold for it meant that now I would not dare to use the loo in case the spider was somewhere behind the cistern,secondly the cat in frustrated rage took up howling and meoooooowing her disappointment. This I thought,must cease before the whole village is awakened. I grabbed a plastic pot and an old birthday card....my spider trap...and began a thorough search of the bathroom,the landing and my bed room in the hope of finding the spider,or the spiders mate.

Intrepidly,or was that in trepidation I pulled out furniture, searched among the towels,poked about in dark corners and all I managed to unearth was a daddy-long-legs spider,call a harvestman. I caught it and covered the container with a lid, placed it on the flour and returned to my bed while a gleeful cat prodded the container to make toe creature inside move about. At last I was allowed to sleep.

All too soon it was time to get up and make morning coffee,my son and I take turns, He was every bit as worn out as myself having also been kept awake by the blessed cat.

Fully dressed I was about to head for the kitchen for make breakfast when I observed the blasted cat in question to be fast asleep on my bed.............She looked so cute...........I could not resist...............I waked up to the quietly and shouted BOOOOO, feeling better I went downstairs to begin the day.

LAZY AVIE

Still in a strange mood this morning was unable to settle to any constructive employment,the reason for this was two fold. To begin with I was in a good deal of pain and secondly unsettled as I was I lacked the will to push myself enough to get things done.

This lack of purpose cause me to feel even more peculiar and finally I decided to take the buggy and just go..somewhere.......anywhere.......anywhere but here! Just for once I wanted to be,somewhere else,I cannot even put in to words how I felt,for me to be lost for words is,many would say,a rare occurrence.

Even my trundling was aimless and I ended up on the tow path of The Grand Union Canal watching the boats slowly slipping in and out of the shadows as they went on their way. Then it dawned on me what my problem was,I also realised that I had come to exactly the wrong place to recover myself. You see,the boats were going somewhere, people in their cars were going somewhere and living as I do under the Heathrow flight path I watched hourly thousands of people...all going somewhere,

I am very well aware that this feeling is not only illogical it is extremely ungrateful,after all I have so much to be thankful for. I have A lovely home,beautiful gardens,a wonderful family and for once everything is going well,and I am enjoying it all but oh my,sometimes the longing to be on the downs, walking by the sea sitting in a forest far from the city overwhelms me and my self control crumbles to dust.

Eventually the feeling will pass,it always does,it's just that for me staying in one place is against my nature,I am a gypsy in my heart and life without a far horizon chokes the life out of me.

The fact that I am writing in this way sh0ws how out of sorts must be,I know how lucky I am and I am thankful,today,for some reason I feel as if I were a prisoner. In a way I suppose I am.

I feel exactly like Ratty from “The Wind in the Willows”in the chapter “Wayfarers All”. Oh well,Ratty got over it,ands so,I suppose shall I.

SUNSHINE,LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS

There has been an air of unreality about the past couple of weeks, to begin with the unaccustomed sunshine,welcome though it is, adds an element of strangeness. Chores such as watering the garden have meant having to dig out the hosepipe ,not needed for the purpose since.......I can't remember when.

Most of all the amazing success of my sons latest publication has furnished us with a mind bending stream of algorithms, statistics,charts and a steady stream of emails and telephone calls. We all agree that none of it seems real.

With the second novel in this series shortly to be released and the third within a week or so of completion ,we all feel as if we were riding a carousel, it's seriously weird.

I expect to come down to earth next Friday when my sons cat Moth has to be spayed. Getting the little madam into her carry box has ,in the past proved to be both time consuming and painful,I still carry the marks of my last battle with the lady. Hey ho, “Sufficient unto the day” and all that”!

The kitchen garden is still producing huge amounts of strawberries daily and it has reached the point where our neighbours pretend to be out when ever we knock....they too have eaten a few strawberries too many. The cupboards are bursting with jam and the boys are refusing point blank to even look at another strawberry.

Last year we had no crop at all, this afternoon I took a huge box of these lovely fruits to my local garden centre and left them in the staff room for the boys and girls to help themselves,they are a friendly bunch and deserve a treat.

Though things have been strange we have been incredibly happy,just watching our son's growing realisation that he is a success is more than enough for Pa and I,and a great happiness has settled upon us all.

I am writing earlier than usual as for some reason I find myself extremely tired in the evenings at the moment, old age I guess.

Now I' m off to the kitchen to make some cheese and tomato soda bread, this with some baked tomatoes and roasted peppers crispy bacon and salad will furnish tonight’s dinner.............hmmmm.......I wonder if I dare to serve strawberries and cream for afters?...........Perhaps not!

Busy, Busy Day...

Avie's done an awful lot today – and was up all night watching people rustling about in the garden, gun at the ready – so is too tired to post today, but all is well, and everything will be back to normal tomorrow.

FREEDOM

It was with huge relief that I remembered on waking that I had no baking,cooking,brewing or jam making on today's agenda and so with this in mind I gave myself the day off!

This is an unusual occurrence and overcome with the feeling of freedom I celebrated by putting on some make-up,an even rarer occurrence these days.

Some time ago I was give a full set of mineral make up which I have seldom used and with more time than usual in the morning I proceeded to “Apply a coat of slap”. It was very much easier than all the tubes, pan cakes,concealers and powders of yesteryear and the resulting effect was one of ...wearing no make up at all,almost.

I put my hair up,put on a green silk kaftan and went down to breakfast,after which I saddled up the buggy and road off in to the sunshine,a free woman.

Freedom is heady stuff and I rattled around the lanes and down to the river with the strains of Donovan's "Catch the wind "and a mixture of music past and present. I felt as I had many years ago on leaving my son at school on his first day,both exultant at the feeling of being alone and able to go where I pleased and apprehensive,what was happening in my absence?

In a fit of bravura, I stopped at a riverside pub and ordered a pint of ale and as the first ice cold strangely familiar taste filled my mouth ,the years washed away and I felt an up rush of spirits which had nothing to do with the strength of the beer. How could I have forgotten so completely how good it felt to be out by myself doing as I pleased.

Of course such treats cannot be indulged in often as Pa needs attention around the clock and I will not have my sons young wings clipped as mine have been.............so poor Cinders will not after all be going to the ball.

In spite of all I have said I love to look after my family and would never dream of letting anyone else take care of Pa,it is just that sometimes I miss being me...the real me. Not the nurse,not the cook,the nanny,the housekeeper or the mother,I miss me.

Today for an hour or two I became acquainted with myself once more,then I put the frivolous,fun loving, carefree girl away and by the time I reached home I was my normal self.

If I had one piece of advice to give to anyone from eighteen to eighty it is this enjoy every moment of this lovely life whenever you have the chance, before without warning time or circumstance makes you a stranger to yourself.

LEMON BALM CORDIAL

This recipe makes a lovely cooling drink in hot weather,it also has calming qualities and I do not recommend the drinking of this beverage if you need to be alert. It can also be made with lime flowers ,in which case it is even more soporific!

1 pint of chopped Lemon Balm/Melissa.

Juice and rind of 3 lemons

one and a half litres cold water

1 good teaspoon of citric acid.

Place the chopped leaves in to a basin with the grated lemon rind,boil the water and pour over the chopped leaves. Cover and leave overnight top brew.

Next morning add the lemon juice and the citric acid then drain through a jelly bag ans pour in to a large saucepan.

Add the sugar then bring to the boil,reduce heat and simmer for 2 minutes.

Pour into hot bottles and label. If sterile bottles are used and the syrup is sealed at one it could keep for several weeks, once opened store in a refrigerator and use within four days.

If using Lime flowers you will need 1 litre of freshly picked flowers,the dried ones taste grim.

My son's book is still selling better than he could have dreamed,and I am thankful for his happiness,as are his friends who have been a great support to him since he took the great leap in to the unknown. My heartfelt thanks to them (they know who they are) for all they have done.

HOT,HOT,HOT.

Today was one of those days I often get in summer and which I love to hate, a blazing hot day,six pounds of strawberries to be jammed, and a batch of lemon balm cordial to make,adds up to an a productive buy uncomfortable day.

My son was gaming at the Pub with the Dungeoneers,Pa has gone off to buy some lemons,I had the kitchen to myself..perfect.

Twelve pound jars full of brilliant red fruit was the result of the jam making and our supply of strawberry jam for the winter is secured,with some left over for gifts ,but the heat took its toll and I began to feel dizzy.

I pressed on a little longer however to make a batch of Lemon Balm cordial,the Elder flowers being now finished,as indeed was I by the time I had cleared the kitchen, Pa arrived back from his trip and I flaked out in my room with all the windows open and a large fan on full speed.

Although aware that a dislike of tennis is,in this country tantamount to treason must confess that I do find the sport an awful bore. I love cricket and rugby,even a good football match,but tennis no!

In spite of this I put on the television to see how the young Scots lad was doing,and promptly fell asleep. I told you find tennis boring.

My son arrived back from his game and announced that Murray had won his, and I truly am glad for him....and for me,perhaps now people will stop harping on about how we have not won a men’s final at Wimbledon since the game played in the presence of the Emperor Claudius!

Feeling rested but still woosey I prepared our dinner of home made pizza and salad ,during the mean we discussed our plans for next week. My son will ,of course be writing, Pa has a number of assorted specialists to see and I, shall as usual be pottering around my small world,rather warmer than usual but very ,very ,happy.

A SIGN OF THE TIMES

I was appalled to hear on the morning news that a certain large supermarket is cashing in on the dreadful poverty in which many people,through no fault of their own find themselves in these trying times.

Later at the store, shoppers ears were being bombarded with pleas to buy extra food and leave it at a collection point  as they left, as a donation to a food bank  The store would then,we were informed  donate 30% of the cost of each item to charity  .Some might think this a laudable project,I most definitely do not.

Supermarkets in general and this one in particular are not renown for their philanthropic gestures to harassed shoppers, let alone those who cannot afford their prices. One only has to look closely at the so called bigger pack,better value scams which appear all over the store. Supermarkets are in the business of making money and that is the not so pure and simple truth.

This then begs the question,why are they doing this?The answer is simple,it will make them money.

At a time when all of us are attempting to buy less each week this is a cynical ploy to encourage us to spend extra by appealing to our consciences,our consciences, what about theirs?

With the mark up on each and every product sky high, they will still make money even if they do give 30% of each items value to the needy The shear bare face cheek beggars belief!

There even seems to be a limit upon what products can be donated,this suggests that,according to this weeks gifting advice they have an over plus of pasta sauce in stock,maybe now it is I who am being cynical? I really think not!

In my home town thousands are having to survive on food bank hand outs ,now don't mistake me I think these institutions are wonderful and quite possibly life saving. The shear organisation which goes in to these places and make it work is phenomenal and those who run them give of their time freely.

I have nothing to say against these remarkable centres of welfare. What I deplore is the need for such places in this day and age. How long will it be before the workhouse, the poor law and the treadmill are brought back to life. Already our political parties,yes all of them talk about the poor and the unemployed in terms which suggest that they believe these people choose to draw benefit and live in squalor,not so!

My grandmother worked herself to death to keep her five children from the workhouse when her husband was to ill to work. My maternal Grandfather ,who like many was out of work in the recession played cards for money all over the Midlands in the big hotels to keep food on the families table. He had photographic recall and usually won. My Great grand mother performed the duty of midwife,undertaker and sometimes even abortionist to her community,she too was left with five children when her young husband died. She did what she needed to do, and was a good and caring woman I am told,and well respected.

The people in my home town were proud of their heritage, they were Potters,Steel men, Miners and Railway engineers. They cut the canals, they were hard working people and proud of their independence.

All the industries I named have gone,so where are the men and women to work? The simple truth is that there is no work,so these people are obliged to draw benefit. They are vilified by all the political parties and are being turned in to scapegoats for what is wrong with the economy.

Don't let them fool you,for however middle or even upper middle-class you may think you are ,what you are in fact is just one pay packet away from the poverty these people have suffered for years, no shame to them. Shame instead to the politicians who closed the factories,who allowed our industries to wither away through lack of investment.

Shame to the bankers, who first encourage people to take on large debts which cannot then be serviced by someone who suddenly loses his employment.

I seem to have come a long way from my opening comments, but in reality I have not moved at all.

The people who rely on these food banks are in need of compassion from every one of us,and I do not mean buying and extra bottle of pasta sauce at the supermarket.

The next time you hear some well fed cabinet minister sounding off about the villainies and the fecklessness of the unemployed,for Gods sake,see it for what it is,their attempt to deflect the blame for our ravaged economy from themselves.

At the next elections be they local or national,remember that Politicians are the servants, not the masters of the public, and act accordingly.