Having had no alternative but spend several hours sizzling over a hot stove, I found my mind fairly boggled this evening by the number of barbecues blazing away in my neck of the woods. First there is the ghastly smell of petrol, firelighters or paraffin, then comes the smoke followed a short time later by the acrid pong of burning fat. In one case so much lighter fuel was used and the meat put over the fire so quickly that I am convinced the food must have tasted like a firelighter in a bun! We are often asked to attend these punitive events, I am ashamed to report that I find any excuse a good one if it helps me to avoid such invitations.
We do cook outside quite often, however I refuse to stand grilling indifferent looking burgers nor will I preside over the cremation of large amounts of sausages. I cook large joints of belly pork with crispy crackling and serve it on slices of home made bread with a roasted garlic sauce, jacket wedges and lots of salad and dips. Furthermore I only feel inclined to do this when the weather is a damn site cooler that it has been lately. Surely if you are going to the trouble of cooking out of doors something more inspiring than sausages of burgers would be more fun yet they are universally popular even with the local aristocracy. Now before anyone gets the idea that I am a snob I must say that the pork joints I cook are quite large and cost very little and our fire is a very primitive home-made very Heath Robinson affair, and that's another thing I can not work out. Why in the name of glory would any one want to tow a socking great gas fired barbie out side to cook, they might just as well open all the windows and use the ordinary cooker.? It,s incomprehensible.
I must say I feel better having got that off my chest. The occasional rant does you good I think. I just hope the appalling smell clears soon, it reminds me of Dante's vision of the Inferno in smelly vision!
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