DROPSIES

Granny Mugwump was clumsy at the best of times but now and then she would have a day when almost everything she handled ended on the floor, she would call this a fit of the dropsies! Today it was my turn to be the clumsy one and I certainly made a mess in the process.

Morning began well with a cup of coffee in bed and the promise of breakfast to be made by my son. Crumpets and muffins with honey were his choice, he loves to give me a treat and I am very appreciative believe me. Staying in bed until breakfast is almost ready is a great part of the treat for me and although he would happily give me my breakfast in bed I prefer to sit in our cosy kitchen with the boys, and in my dressing gown too as it gives the occasion a more lazy feel.

Back to the story, out of bed at last I decided that had time to make the bed before I went downstairs.....big mistake! Perfumed oils area favourite with me and I was recently given a beautiful bottle of perfumed oil with reeds to diffuse the fragrance. Each reed is topped with a wooded bed and the bottle is rather larger than usual. Irritated that I could not straighten the patchwork quilt I gave it a shake and in doing so caught one of the wooden wands and down the whole lot came spilling perfumed oil all over the carpet.


Fragrant oil gently diffused smells subtle and pleasant, a whole quarter pint of the stuff in a puddle on the rug has a pungency which is not pleasant at all. Quickly I covered the spill with tissues and went downstairs for breakfast, a lovely meal enjoyed by all and apart from a strong odour of orange oil and cloves everything was as usual.

Eleven thirty brought a gaggle of gamesters and shortly after they left with my son to do battle at our local hostelry. Baking, and quite a lot of it was on the agenda and so I decide to make a start before washing up the breakfast things and clearing up the pongy perfume upstairs.....second big mistake. With so many things on my mind I was not paying attention as I took a bag of cater sugar from the cupboard and I knock a large bag of icing sugar on to the floor which exploded covering the kitchen ,myself and the cat in a dusting of fine white stickiness!

Twiggy fled at once casting a sugary trail behind her as she went and ensconced herself upon my bed to clean of the mess. Aggravated beyond measure I swept up the sugar, filled the steamer wit water and finished baking two trays of almond slices before steaming the kitchen floor, it took ages and the trays had been out of the oven for a full ten minutes before I had done enough to ensure that we should not stick to the floor .

Two trays of melting hazelnut shortbread where next on the list and I creamed the butter and what was left of Th icing sugar(just enough as it happened) together added the flour and cornflour and then e=went to find the hazel nut jar. Empty! Would you believe it? Rejoicing that I'd had the foresight to purchase a bag yesterday I took them from the cupboard and attempted to open them, with out the aid of a pair of scissors...........third error of judgement.

Pulling at the edges of the bag did not work and irritated beyond measure I tried popping the bag............you can guess the result. Hazel nuts rolled around the floor like ball bearings and almost as deadly. Twiggy now back from depositing sticky icing sugar all over my bed was delighted with this turn of events and began to chase the rolling nuts many of which, thanks to her efforts lodged underneath the washing machine and the freezers. Dust pan and brush to the fore I swept up the ones I could reach and put the in the squirrel food tray. Deprived of her amusement the cat stalked off in high dudgeon and has not addressed me with civility since!

Hazel nuts were still plentiful and I finished the trays of shortbread, put them in the oven and went off the tackle the pong upstairs, taking with n the steamer and a large bottle of carpet shampoo.............yet another mistake. Arthritis affects my hands and has been getting worse of late, unable to turn the spray nozzle I decided to undo the top and pour the product on to the rug before steaming in the faint hope of laying the overpowering pong.........wrong again!

Expecting the lid to be as troublesome as the nozzle I gave it an almighty twist and off it came in my hands, the bottle crashed to the floor spilling a good portion of its contents onto the already besmirched rug which was now foaming merrily ans smelling even worse than before.

Thank the Gods that at this juncture the house was empty as I confess that my language for a full five minutes was of the most picturesque sort and not at all fit for delicate ears. Once again the cat sped off having been lurking under the bed in the mistaken belief that she would be safe there.....some hope!

After much travail and a great many micro fibre clothe most of the oil and foam was extracted from the rug and in a state of collapse I made a coffee and sat down to eat a piece of short bread. Later on returning upstairs and finding they the top floor smelled rather funky I opened all the widows in the hope that this would help. That is why I am writing this epistle while wearing a hat, scarf, fur jacket and fingerless gloves.

I tremble to think what may yet happen as the day is not yet spent, hasten tomorrow and hopefully an end of the dropsies.

One more thing before I go, Granny Mugwump always maintained that the dropsies came in threes and that after the third accident all would return to normal...........she lied!!!!!!!!!!