A BATTLE IN THE KITCHEN

Today my kitchen was the scene of a great battle with much skilful sword play and all the thrust and parry of two seasoned swordsmen. He attacked with vigour but I refused to retreat, and remembering the instructions of the great Perigore of Paris I fought with the head and not the heart. In short I won and the new cooker arrives on Friday.
As my adversary departed from the field he was actually shaking, possibly from frustrated rage. He had as he was leaving fired a parting shot about the proposed trashing of my garden and I informed him that we and others had lodged objections to his proposal. Evidently he was not aware of this and the look of fury which flashed across his face was a wonder to behold.

I felt exhausted after he left and had to go out for a while to calm down, it has been a dreadful few weeks and I hope now for a little peace and quiet before the newt crisis comes along.
I actually felt sorry for the man when I saw that his hands were shaking but I buried my concern in the knowledge that he had come to threaten and bully me and had failed.

He has allowed me to choose my own cooker which is helpful I hope that now things will return to normal. I am a reasonable person and I do not go out of my way to pick fights however anyone who takes me on should know that I am always sure of my ground before I strike and that is why I always win . The Estate manager who but the dust in my kitchen should have leaned this lesson long ago, the fact that he has not done so is his fault and not mine. He was wrong from the beginning and we both knew it, he thought that he could use his position to intimidate me, he was wrong...again. I do hope that this time he has leaned something, but I doubt it.

I am as I write indulging in a very large G and T all the kerfuffle of the afternoon left no time to make a chicken stew and so we have ordered a Chinese takeaway to celebrate and afterwards we are going to reinstate the old family tradition of fright night. This is great fun as we sit in the dark watching a scary film and stuff our faces with lots of Haribo and pick and mix sweets....naughty but very nice.

I hope that the battle of the garden goes my way that is even more important than the electric cooker, but for tonight we celebrate.