Does any one out there remember the old Whitehall Theatre farces that were shown on television in the dim and distant past, before alternative comedy, well my day closely resembled one of those including people wandering vaguely about in their pyjamas! We were expecting a visitor today but instead we had a stream of people coming in through both doors quite fun in fact.
To begin with, we all overslept, I thought I heard a tapping at the door as I struggled to prise my eyes open but by the time I managed to crawl out of bed who ever it was had given up. Then I looked at the clock, and panic set in. As I ran about getting dressed my son appeared looking rather like a grizzly bear after a winter in hibernation. He remarked that it was late.......yes and getting later every minute. It was at this point that my husband appeared yawning like a cavern and asking if anyone had heard a knock at the door, and remarking on the lateness of the hour, as we had been expecting a breakfast guest. My conscience smote me as I hobbled down stairs.
I put the kettle on and began to make breakfast, scotch crumpets with hot jam sauce, the telephone rang, covered in butter I quickly washed and ran to the phone.......to late! Back in the kitchen I made the tea, again the phone rang, and again I was too late. I had visions of our neglected guest phoning the police thinking we had all been murdered in our beds so I asked my husband to return the call. It was the person we had been expecting, we said do come for breakfast but he would not hear of it, he would come at three for afternoon tea, it was a chastened company who sat down to breakfast.
I quickly washed up and began to prepare vegetables for dinner, and label some jam, not at the same time of course, I was covered in glue when a friend who we had expected last week and who never arrived appeared at the kitchen door, she was welcomed with tea and short bread, and we asked if she had called earlier, no she had not. We had a good old natter and she left an hour later with a bag of salad.
I decided to do some baking and just as I put two sponge cakes in the oven, another friend arrived to do a small repair job for us which involved the cooker, so he too was regaled with tea and biscuits
and spent and hour or so chatting. Shortly before he left there was a tap at the front door, it was yet another friend who thrust a large moist bag into my hands and whispered, rather like Private Walker of “Dads Army”.” Keep this quiet or they will all want one, I'll be back in fifteen minutes for a cuppa and a chat.”
With a guilty air I smuggled A huge freshly caught trout into the kitchen and hid it under a tea towel, this was becoming tricky. As our handyman friend left through the back door the person who should have been our guest for breakfast arrived at the front and as he was ushered in I made a better job of hiding the contraband; in today's heat it badly needed cleaning and freezing.
Eager to make up for our earlier neglect we proffered tea and biscuits and asked if he had called earlier, no he had not. At this point our poacher friend arrived and with nods, winks and whispered asides we gave him to understand that we had company so he would know not to ask about the fish, which was by now beginning to make it's presence noticeable, I lit a couple of joss sticks and hoped for the best! It was four in the afternoon before the kitchen was clear of company and I cleaned the fish in a hurry and slipped it into the freezer.......phew!
There is just one thing that bothers me. If none of today's guests knocked on the door then who was it? Not the postman, he came later and no one was expecting a delivery, it is a complete mystery. If who ever it was reads this - don't come back until Friday as we are out of biscuits until I bake again!
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment