Centenary Blog

I cannot believe I have been regaling the world with the trivial minutia of my life for a hundred days. I have not read the back numbers, nor do I intend to until perhaps a year has passed. I hope that I have not been a complete bore and console myself with the fact that I am probably talking to myself which believe it or not was the original idea. You see I had been unwell for some time and it felt as if nothing would ever be right again. I can not believe how quickly I fell in to the dark place, and my recovery was so slow it felt like climbing out of a deep well. I still loved life but felt that life no longer loved me. All this sounds pathetic and perhaps I was, it is enough to say that I no longer cared about anything but sleep and forgetfulness, except that I could not sleep because of the constant pain.

Some thing had to happen and of course it did, I had told no one how I felt so no one could help me, until one day I just cracked, it was horrible but from that day I began to feel better. I still have the pain and I am still fighting a losing battle against Pa's failing health but talking to my doctor, who artfully tricked it out of me made me realise that I was not fighting alone.

I had tried to keep the worst from my son which was selfish of me because he wanted to help and when I finally asked I found a strong, caring man where my little boy hand been, something of which I am so very proud and thankful. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and found the old joy in just being alive was still there. I still have bad days but then so do we all. Being able to get out if the house makes a huge difference and I am always on the gad,and then there is my little laptop,the biggest difference of all. I write about all that happens in the day, make fun of the problems and it is as if the fly away and I start the next day with a fresh page. I play games and research family history all from my bedroom chair, I can fly once more as it were, and I am happy again.

To any one reading this I say thanks for listening, I hope I have entertained more that I have complained, and please, if life ever seems to much to bear do not be afraid to ask for help, or even do as I did and send a message in a bottle to the whole world to whom I wish peace and love forever.