ONE HELL OF A DAY

OH BUGGER!
The pace of today has been shattering,so many jobs to do and so many damned interruptions, I really have been winging it for most of the afternoon. Pa chucked a wobbly this morning, got up late and proceeded to faff about for ages so breakfast although very nice was very late indeed. He then broke it to me non too gently that he needed to go in to town, he left promising to be back soon.............oh yes! I set about making a large cauldron of London Particular soup at the same time as making seven dozen Staffordshire oatcakes and feeding the washing machine at regular intervals, I believe it,s called multitasking or some such buzz word. I call it flaming hard work. Pa forgot to take his phone which left me worried as not only could I not call him to remind him of the time I could not keep track of his where abouts, he does this so often that I am thinking of having him chipped.
Naturally he was late home and at three thirty had done non of the few chores he does, so he began to feed the birds and so on at which point he told me he had forgotten the fat balls for the birds which was what he went out for. I did not ask what was in the two large shopping bags,I did not dare. As I had finished my cooking and tidied the kitchen I offered to go and get some.....anything for a few minutes in the fresh air. Looking at the clock I had just over an hour so off I went. Of course there was a complete arse at the checkout insisting that he had been short changed and demanding the mangers presence. I know the manager well and I would not trust him to sort out my Grannies knitting. True to form he complicated matters still further and after some time I mentioned that perhaps he should open another till while he sorted things out. A short flash of illumination flickered across his face and soon another checkout was opened and I was on my way as a matter of fact the arse had not been short changed at all, at fact which several bystanders already knew and so I suspect did he. When at last I returned home it was I who was late and not at all amused to discover the kitchen floor covered in filthy boots and shoe cleaning paraphernalia. Before I could deliver a broadside their was a load knock at the door.............all I needed...............the local busybody twitching with red hot news....I listened........and listened...............and listened and finally managed to get a word in edgeways,made my excuses and propelled her towards the door with just a little too much haste I felt. Fortunately she has the hide of a Rhino so thankfully she did not notice. Now dinner was late my son was not awake and he had not been taken a cup off tea, the custard needed making and the table needed setting and Pa was still spread about the kitchen cleaning boots. SO.........I made the tea,woke my son,made the custard and set the table while roundly cursing Both Pa and the pile of tat on the kitchen floor. I dislike the smell of shoe polish particularly when I am about to eat, I was very cross.
We enjoyed the meal in spite of all and as I cleaned up the mess Pa gave be a bag, I opened it and inside was a beautiful incense burner, the sort I have wanted for ages, I felt rotten for being so cross, but it is just like a man to always put the woman in the wrong somehow. Still he is a lovely old boy really so we had a hug and made up. I have still not caught up with the outstanding chores and I have just one thing to say........sod it! SEE I TOLD YOU IT HAD BEEN A HELL OF A DAY