Merry Hell

I went to Tesco today, yes I went of my own accord to Tesco on a Saturday and repented my foolishness all the way round the store. I encountered about a thousand Valkyries whizzing around the place with trolleys and at least a hundred Boadicea wannabes raging through the aisles using their trolleys as deadly weapons against any poor unfortunate who crossed their path. This coupled with an army of dazed husbands wandering about like zombies and a legion of small children running up and down seemingly bent upon destruction It was to say the least an alarming experience. I have observed that when you are sitting on a mobility scooter or in a wheelchair you become invisible to almost everyone and I advise any budding Harry Potters to try it. I found myself trapped at the end of an aisle with a mass of trolley wielding harpies behind me and an aggressive Amazon before me who seemed to believe that she could pass straight through me like a wraith. Unable to reverse into the following throng I endured a very determined battering by this daunting female until she realised at last that until she let me pass non of us were going any where. I am almost certain that she was of normal intelligence and would in any other circumstances have behaved like a reasonable person,but what I call the supermarket effect,coupled with the fact that I was sitting in a mobility scooter got the better of the poor soul. When she came to her senses she had the grace to look abashed and went on her way to the hoots of derision from those following in my wake who then proceeded to push past me on all sides until the whole wretched performance was repeated with another deranged creature swimming against the tide. I am a hardy soul but I was rapidly losing my nerve so resisting the temptation to go at full tilt and cut a swath through the throng I struggled to the check out, paid for my purchases and fled. Never again!

Other than the afore mentioned horror the day has been rather pleasant. My sons friends arrived and enjoyed their game and the cake I made for our departing member. Two bottles of Champagne and a bottle of Brandy that had been rescued from a vessel which had laid at the bottom of the sea for ten years were drunk and then the gamesters left for their farewell dinner leaving Pa and I to clear up the mess, and cook our dinner.

I took the opportunity to cook trout for dinner as my son dislikes it I served it on slice wholemeal garlic toast with a horseradish ,cream and mustard relish and a salad or watercress, wild rocket and tomatoes with basil, I saw the recipe on a cookery show and copied it except for not smoking the fish, we prefer our trout fresh.

I intend to have a long lazy bath with candles and incense and then snuggle up in bed with the cat to watch a film while Pa works on his model railway and my son carouses in Richmond. Perfect..