After several days as a
zombie I have decided that I prefer to be in pain and at least
coherent. While I freely admit that to be without pain for the first
time in many years was glorious the price was far too high.
On the first day I was
ecstatic and rather light headed,this devolved in to a state similar
to drunkenness and by Monday I was completely ga-ga. My son tells me
that I was incoherent most of the time ,I can only remember snatches
of that day ,being unable to remain awake for more than a few
moments,and dreadful dreams when I slept.
Yesterday I cut the
pain relief tablets to one dose a day instead of four and I am slowly
returning to normal...I hope. I am still unable to sit without
falling asleep and am finding it almost impossible to concentrate, I
must however put up with these symptoms until I see my G.P. again on
Monday,hasten the day.
I am still hopeful of
finding a middle path where the pain is lessened without obliterating
my consciousness. It has been a tough decision as the pain is ,at
times unbearable,but I am a carer and I must have my wits about me
for Pa's sake, and Pa must come first.
How lovely today has
been,real September weather,a little hazy yet warm, the air still
except for the buzzing of thousands of insects all intent upon
feeding. I watched a beautiful garden cross spider sunning itself in
the centre of it's perfect web. Dragon flies patrolled the orchard
paths in search of food,they are carnivorous and will take wasps,bees
or butterflies,they are voracious and some are as big as a small
bird.
In the early evening I
took a run around the block on my buggy,the first in days,I chatted
for a while with two old friends in the soft evening air. On my
return I discovered that my son had begun the preparations for dinner
and indeed he actually did cook our evening meal,it was lovely to be
waited on for a change. All in all life is still sweet,and no matter
what and I mean to enjoy as much as I can while I can,I cannot bear
the thought of missing out on such glorious days as this has been.
Tomorrow I intend to
make our Christmas Chutney,providing that the fog in my brain has
dispersed ,wish me luck.
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