The Oozalum bird in the act of vanishing
The legend of the
Oozalum bird is well know to all but for the few who may be
uninitiated I will explain that this extremely rare bird has it's own
strange behaviour to account for it's scarcity. The Oozalum
bird is large, noisy, gaudy and incredibly stupid. It has one wing
shorter than the other and so it flies in ever decreasing circles
very rapidly when startled, the bird eventually disappears up it's own
backside,never to be seen again.
In recent years it has
been noted that the particular virus which causes the bird to vanish
in the way afore mentioned has crossed species and is now infecting
humans, there is unfortunately much evidence of this
In The United States of
America the Star Spangled Oozalum bird has been perched on the white
house roof for some time, with dire consequences. Although President
Obama may not be the sharpest tack in the tin it is only in recent
weeks that the influence of this creature has caused him to flap
about oozalum bird style style ;and although he has not yet
disappeared up his own ass,he looked at times at the G20 summit as if
he wished he could do so!
The British version of
this exotic bird,known as the Superior,Crusta Cimex Anglicus haunts
the corridors of power at Whitehall.
It is even said that
the ancestors of the unfortunate creature placed a curse upon the
house of Cameron at the time of the Great Rebellion,that should any
of the tribe enter the house of Commons a great disaster would
befall.
As far as I am
concerned the disaster happened as soon as Cameron formed a
government after the last general election. All that to on side he
has seemed very indecisive, has made some extremely stupid mistakes
and has performed so many violent U turns that it is a miracle that
he has not yet mastered the Oozalums birds trick.
There is of course a
Russian member of the Oozalum family colloquially known as the
Posturing Ozzalum bird . This `odd creature differs from its western
cousins in so far as it insists upon sitting on the highest perch
available. Should the highest perch be unavailable this queer little
bird puffs out its chest in an attempt to intimidate its rivals and
squawks loudly and threateningly, thereby making itself look so
ridiculous that it,s rival laugh themselves in to fits. This causes
them to fall off their high perches thus giving the Puffed up Russian
bird an opportunity to gain the top spot.
The Syrian version of
the bird is blind and therefore unable to discern who its enemies
are. It has been know to hide from the chef when about to be cooked
by climbing in to the oven and turning on the gas... weird.
While it is obvious
that I have come over “all Whimsical” it must be faced that the
Politicians most concerned in this messy, mad and murderous war are
in grave danger of not only disappearing up their own feathery
butt's, it seems that they will not rest content unless they have
taken the rest of us with them.
Do yourselves and the
whole world a favour folks. Next time you see one of these pesky
critters,
SHOOT IT!
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