Being in need of a few comestibles and also a little fresh air I decided to nip off to Tesco soon after breakfast shot morning, thinking, fool that I am that as it was Wednesday and the children...bless their little hearts.... were back a school it would be less busy than usual.....hummm!
On arrival I noticed two things almost at once, first that my supposition that if might be quiet was totally unfounded ans secondly the unbelievably appalling stench which assaulted my nostrils as soon as I entered the building. It smelled as if either a cow had died in the building and was rapidly decomposing under one of the stands, or that the sewers were in a state of terminal disrepair....possibly both. I sniffed my way to the lift and headed for the kitchen ware department.
My God the smell in that lift beggared description,I am not a forensic scientist but I have to tell you that something in the vicinity was very definitely dead. One breath was enough and I resolved to hold my breath until I had escaped the lift. Gasping for air I arrived on the top floor only to discover that the smell was if anything worse there that it was in the lift.
As I reversed out of the lift I was just in time to see a young pregnant woman throw up by the underwear section. “It's the smell.” She explained apologetically , I was forced to concur, in spite of the Christmas decorations it was much more festering than festive!
I made my purchases and left as fast as I could, in the lift unfortunately and by now I felt rather sick myself. Down stairs I tried to finish my shopping as fast as possible but found that since my last visit every blessed item had been moved, add to that the fact that many of the aisles were blocked by large trolleys full of stock awaiting some one to put it on the shelves so my progress was painfully slow.
By this time the my olfactory organ had become used to the pong and I found it much less noticeable, new arrivals however were wandering around with their hands covering their noses and I saw one lady squirt perfume on to her hanky to sniff as she shopped.
The staff were not at all happy, there seemed to be some kind of inquisition going on and “The Brass” were very much in evidence wandering about with clip boards and getting in everyone’s way. Now I do not know how you would feel about it but I found it almost impossible to shop for food items while the ghastly whiff kept on wafting through the store I had intended to buy some tiger prawns but as I arrived at the stall two of the afore mentioned “Brass” were grilling the fishmonger about a bag of bad prawns returned by a customer....I purchased two salmon steaks instead and had a good sniff at them before paying at the check out!
A shopping trip which should have taken less than an hour took more than two hours and I left the place exhausted. Even the fume filled car park smelled wonderfully fresh after the whiffy interior and I left the premisses gladly. Only when I returned home did I notice that I had been overcharged on and item of clothing and I frankly do not blame the checkout girl for the mistake. She is only as good as the information programmed in to the till and as there were so many people sticking sale tickets on to items I assume that the computers have either not caught up with the taggers or that the taggers had made a mistake, either way I cannot be asked to go back and complain.
My son is having a wonderful time visiting the caves ,today he went down the Peak Cavern known locally a The Devils Ares not just because it looks like an arse but also because of the strange noises that it emits from time to time...I kid you not!
The cat Twiggy has found a new roost some where in the upstairs of the house, I say somewhere because search as we may neither Pa or myself can find the place. She spent the whole of last night in this mystery spot and although I could hear her bell tinkling from time to time I failed to locate her. During the afternoon she disappeared again and once again the sound of her bell did nothing to help us find her She is very good at camouflage but this is ridiculous.
I only hope that she does not chose to take her future captive rodents to this new roost or we shall be in trouble.
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