The sultry weather has returned and although my pumpkins and tomatoes are flourishing it is I who am wilting rather badly. Even with a fan running all night it has been some time since I slept well. Last night was unpleasantly sticky and I was obliged to leave the window open,this was necessary in order to lower the temperature but I suspect that doing so raised my blood pressure considerably before I finally gave up and closed it again at three this morning.
Before twelve the public house down the road was hosting a band,they do this regularly and the sort of band they usually hire plays folk music and has acoustic guitars, last night was different.
Last nights performers, I will not call them musicians spent several hours stacking up large amplifiers in the bar, even the landlord was,I am told a little nervous when he saw what was occurring. They began to play at eight and continued with only a couple of short pauses until eleven thirty. Everything the played sounded like “The Ace Of Spades” played out of tune, it was ghastly.
A friend of ours who was present told me that they emptied the bar in just under an hour and as it was warm people sat outside all night only returning to obtain refills of whatever they were drinking.
I turned up the television and prayed for closing time to come soon, it came but it brought no relief.
The band..so called.... spent a noisy hour packing their equipment into their tatty old van which was blocking the road and frequently had to be moved to allow cars to pass down the lane. This resulted in some load ill tempered exchanges which echoed around the village ans eventual caused some one to call the police.
They arrived with their usual fanfare as did the ambulance which arrived a few minutes later, it seems that an almighty punch up ensued when the owner of a smart car parked in the lane discovered that the band had stacked some of their gear on the bonnet of his car and , he claimed scratching the paint work. How on earth he could tell that in the dark I cannot say, I merely report the facts.
The ambulance made even more noise as it left and for quite some tie we were treated to the sound of police men talking loudly on their radios as they searched for one of the protagonists who had fled in to the woods at the side of the lane, to the best of my knowledge he is still in there as they left without having caught him. I hope for the sake of what ever poor souls had booked the band for tonight that he remains in hiding.......he was I am told the lead singer!
As the police radios faded and the lane became quiet I curled up at last hoping to sleep, some hope!
There had been a wedding at a local hotel and the guests who were not sleeping there decided to depart all at once and to the accompaniment of some very loud fire works. You know the sort of thing, dust bin sized with a noise normally associated with places like Kosovo or Libya!
In the lane drivers honked their car horns at each other as they left the party and from their radios can the unmistakable sound of Asian drums being played almost as loudly as that perishing group at the pub earlier in the evening.
Silence descended at last and I as did, I imagine everyone else slipped at last in to long delayed sleep. I woke after only a few minutes of sleep to the sound of a blazing argument going on in the lane outside the cottage, A young couple were it seemed having a “lovers tiff,” actually it sounded more like a couple of fish wives hurling course abuse at each other, their language was picturesque if a trifle repetitive and after a few of us joined their chorus asking them “ politely” to kindly go and argue some where else they left with a last hoorah of abuse towards and I quote “you toffee nosed lot.”. The cheek. I am a peasant, and proud of it!
At last real peace and quite fell upon the lane and its blessed benison lulled me to sleep in no time, foe all of half an hour when the first of the morning cargo planes roared over head, where upon I gave up., got up, and made coffee doomed not to close my eyes again for the rest of the night.
This morning I asked Pa how he had slept and expected him to catalogue the nights disturbances but no, he had slept very well and had heard nothing. I now begin to wonder if the ear syringing was such a success after all.
Tonight I have at the ready a set of era plugs, a sedative and a bottle of Irish Whisky and shall resort to one or all of these should tonight prove to be a noisy one, drastic, perhaps but necessary and so I wish you all a good night and a quiet one where ever you may be.
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