I am in the throws of organising a visit from our Member of Parliament as I have mentioned before and the logistics of the affair are becoming more complex by the minute. When I embarked upon this enterprise I never in my wildest imaginings envisaged the number of people who have asked to be present for the event. While it is gratifying to know that so many people share our concern about the amount of development in our village I am now considering hiring a marque for the occasion!
I am beginning to dread checking my e mails as each time I find more requests and I have basely switched off my mobile telephone and hidden it in my knicker drawer! I looks as if it will be standing room only with enough seats for the elderly and infirm.....I hope!
There have been far to many deliveries to the house today, when my son is attempting to sleep I can do without an endless stream of delivery men hammering on the door so loudly that it sounds like a police raid . I am jolly glad I have no drugs in to house or I should be running about in a panic hiding my stash and flushing ashtrays full of old spliffs down the loo!
My neighbour who was at work today received a number of packages, all very large and of course I took them in but when another driver asked me to take in a parcel for some one further afield I was obliged to refuse as I had no more room to store them until they were collected and besides the person was away in foreign parts for a couple of weeks.
This sort of thing happens so often that I am on first name terms with almost every delivery driver for miles around and the fact that my son orders books all the time means that I see plenty of these young men. Today I found the whole experience disruptive as was trying to do some baking and had to keep on washing my hands to sign their wretched delivery pads.
After the fifth such interruption I came over all whimsical and wrote this parody of the UPS advertisement. Sung to the tune That's Amore'
When you're woken at dawn for a parcel that torn that logistics,
When the packagings trashed and the contents are smashed that logistics.
When you wait in all day and the van goes astray that logistics,
Then it turns up next day when you're ten miles away that's logistics.
I baked a new cookie today, this one contains dried pears and walnuts and is topped off with plum jam, My favourite cookie critics will be trying them tomorrow , tonight they have toffee spice cookies, Oh yes, My son is going to work tonight, he is all fidgety and says he feels much better, I am consoled by the fact that he has only three days to do this week so that if he is tired it will be over by Monday morning.
Pa had gone to the shops and I needed a word so I swithched on my mobile phone....big mistake...one after another the missed call, missed message bleeps reminded me that I had been incommunicado for some time.
My mother had called,I called her back...................................................................time went by.......................................Several calls that I needed to attend to were answered.............................................more time went by! Pa came home and I realised that I had forgotten to call him.
We had coffee and I tidied up the dishevelled kitchen and my dishevelled self and was just about to go out when a visitor arrived. In a panic \I looked at the clock. “ I won't stay long.” she said. Over an hour later at five fifteen she finally departed, I had not been out, I had not even begun to prepare our evening meal and my son needed waking with the customary cup of tea. I had dropped in as artless a way as possible that fact that my son ate early this week but too no avail and to make matters worse as she left she announced that she was being taken to dinner and therefore did not need to cook this evening. As she strolled up the path the tiger in me gave a silent roar, truly I could have spit in her eye.
Now I n my room with Twiggy sitting on my desk and my son drinking coffee in the armchair peace has been restored....I know that it cannot last as my neighbour returns home soon and will of course be hammering on the door to retrieve his numerous packages, He is fond of cookies and he likes a chat,.............................here we go again
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